Drink You Alive
by Mrs.TheKing
Summary: Edward a virgin for 100 years? Uh, Nope. Not really. Come twirl in and out of a completely canon Twilight Saga with Sasha. The woman Edward forgot to remember. Vamp Story!
1. Unforgettable

_**Sasha Duncan is a school teacher that can speak to ghosts. When she has a run in with Dr. Carlisle Cullen and introduces him to his own dead father, her life becomes entwined with his vampire family.**_

_**Edward Cullen must read her mind to protect his family, but his interest in her tempts a viscous tracker. Sasha takes her last human breaths in Edward's cold arms. When Sasha awakens as a blue-eyed vampire, the Cullens must risk everything to see that she survives. **_

_**With a tracker and possibly the **__**Volturi seeking the brand new vampire, Edward and Sasha's tender new love is threatened. **_

_**A/N Hang in there until after Sasha is transformed for some action, love and vampire fabulousness. We start at the end, where Sasha is a vampire. Chapter 2 travels back in time and Sasha is a human. Enjoy!!**_

_**All Twilight related Characters and settings belong to Stephenie Meyer**_

_**XOXOXOXOXOX  
**_

Making someone forget, imagine that. Never to remember loss, anger, pain. If you could bottle forgetfulness, would you have the key to a life of happiness? Or do we need pain as much as we need love?

Hugh Johns was an extraordinary club owner. **Forward March** only opened when he was in the mood to open it. Whenever the word got out that its neon sign was lit, jet setters from all over Manhattan flocked to its non descript door.

Inside, Hugh's well-trained vampire staff knew how to throw a great party. The music and lights were always pumping. The drinks were exotic and the bartenders ridiculously able to wow a crowd with fire breathing, bar dancing, and bottle flipping. The servers found you whenever you were in the club (even in the bathrooms) with your drink order. It was always correct, as the servers had perfect recall.

All would leave with a smile, Hugh made sure of that. At 6'8" he was larger then life, he appeared to be about 70 years old and usually dressed in a crisp white tux. He let loose with wolf whistling, while dancing with ladies one third his apparent age. The party started officially when Hugh arrived, and his entrance was worth the wait. The club's lights would go black, as a pulsating drum roll would claim everyone's attention. The single spotlight would kick on, and Hugh would stand in all his splendor, from top hat to tails. His dark sunglasses and twirling cane were always met with wild applause and cheers.

He was a gentlemen and a rascal. Hugh was also a vampire with a talent so rare and so important, no one was allowed to remember he even existed at all. When leaving **Forward March**, you were treated to a mind wipe. A customer would remember only that they had the time of their life, and that they couldn't wait to come back. If they tried to explain to others why they liked the club so much, they would not be able to pin down details.

Hugh could even change the minds of other vampires. He found out the hard way that he needed to stay hidden. He was a weapon of mass destruction in the vampire world. Hugh's gift was much coveted among his kind. When you can live endlessly, the draw of wiping away the more unpleasant memories becomes an intoxicating draw. Hugh had a healthy dose of self-preservation, so he decided to run a nightclub. At his club he could satisfy he need to be social, and have the companionship of other vampires and humans, alike. His vampire staff lived on premise, and no one left his employ with their memories intact. In the end, almost all were willing to stay on indefinitely. Being around Hugh was delightful. The vampires who worked for him were encouraged to eat outside of the city, but if there was a slip up, they were covered. Forcing memory loss is such a convenient talent.

I never imagined I would have Hugh as a friend or that I would ask him to hurt me so thoroughly, but I did.

"Make them forget me." It was the smallest of whispers, but Hugh could hear it.

He nodded gallantly, "You're sure?"

That was the most loaded question I had ever been asked. Considering I could talk to ghosts, that was saying something.

In the middle of the spectacular, empty dance floor of **Forward March** stood the magnificent man who had proposed to me earlier that night. I had said, "Yes" with my soul, heart, and mind. The endlessness of forever lay out in front of us.

His golden eyes held disbelief and hurt as he heard my words, first in my mind, then from my lips. Just moments before those same eyes had smiled with fire, victory and love.

The engagement party decorations were garish now.

Alice, the woman who peeked into the future on a regular basis, was cuddled in the arms of her Jasper. He was working feverishly to calm her.

The force of her latest vision had almost rendered her senseless, seeing her so helpless was the only thing that supported my decision.

She looked into my eyes, "There will be no end to the pain. Edward will kill us all. Some of us won't even try to fight back, we love him too much."

The future mass murderer stood steadfastly, saying "No!" in various tones, lengths and intensities.

"I'm sure, Hugh. Make them forget me. Make it like I never crossed their path." _Was I really saying these words? How could I ever live without him?_

Hugh looked to Edward, "You have about three minutes left, make them count, kiddo."

Hugh started his procedure on Esme. We watched the horror and concern in her face slide away, like soap bubbles on the tiled shower wall. In its place was a pleasant, happy look, that was fully installed as she shrugged on her coat, and stepped outside the club.

It looked so quick and painless. Hugh started to work on Carlisle, who had the presence of mind to look at me during the process, "I love you, my daughter."

Watching the knowing evaporate from his golden eyes was equally disconcerting. He grabbed his jacket to follow Esme.

I knew these were my last moments with Edward. Everything around us would crash soon. I was in his arms before Hugh started on Rosalie.

He was hugging me and breathing me in. I was trying to be hugged and look in his eyes at the same time.

He started to whisper so quickly, "Do not do this, please. Please, we can fix this. Just give me a day, let me try and figure something out. Nothing Alice sees is written in stone. Nothing! "

Alice shook her head with tremendous sorrow and sought comfort deeper in the arms of Jasper.

"Will he be safe if I do this? We you all be safe?" I begged Alice, while looking into Edward's face. I was trying to etch the love I saw there on my soul.

"Yes, we must all forget, but you can't. We need you to remember us." I nodded at her words. I knew Edward was screening her brain and flinched at what he saw there. He knew Alice was right.

"Don't let him talk you out of it," was her last warning before Hugh began to wipe me out of her brain.

"Edward, please dance with me. Make this count," I was speaking directly into his mouth, between kisses.

Alice and Jasper's face revealed the change at almost the same instant. As he helped her into her coat, I felt the loss of his calming gift. He had been working to keep the panic in the room to a dull roar and comfort Alice. I adored him right then, the pain he had been keeping at bay hit me like a hurricane.

Edward pulled out his cell phone and made a quick, hurried call. Slipping the phone in his pocket, he pulled me into his back arms. The scent of his skin, the mild fabric softener in his shirt, and the taste of his beautiful lips were all things I would try to replicate in daydreams so many times after this moment.

"Oh, God, you are really going to do this," it had finally seemed real to Edward.

Emmett began punching the walls, poking holes as he went. He was furious. I thought of how much of a big brother he was to me. He was in the middle of writing the word "No" with his fists, in the wall.

"I won't leave her. I won't," his furious voice tapered away. He went to get his jacket, his anger was replaced with a happy–go-lucky smile.

_Emmett. Losing him hurt._

"I will never forget you. I won't. Your eyes will be with me. I love you. I would go insane for you. I will go insane without you," He was speaking slower. We both knew what was happening.

Our song erupted from the sound system. Hugh's wife Barbara always had perfect timing. We started to dance. Edward was twirling me and dipping me, just like our first dance. I just simply adored him with my eyes and my grin. This moment was mine. He fought against his emotions to give me this dance. The irony of Nat King Cole singing "Unforgettable" was so painful, it was almost funny.

"Keep the ring," he could tell I was planning on giving it back. After.

Hugh was standing right behind Edward. Edward stopped dancing. He cradled the back of my head with one hand and laid his other in the center of my chest.

Even though it had been dead for almost two years, I swear my heart started beating right there, under his hand. "I love you," His three words that had forever balancing on every syllable.

I saw the pain and anguish start to slide from those amber eyes. His memory was draining like a bathtub. The pain in his face relaxed. The careful, watchful Edward was back. I took the beautiful antique ring I had only worn for a little while off my left hand. With a quick swipe of my vampire strong fingernail, I removed the inscription, "Forever, Always" from its place inside the band. I lifted his hand off of my heart, turned it over, and placed a kiss on his palm I set the ring in the middle of his smooth hand, and closed his fingers around it.

_It was meant for the love of his life, and that could never be me._

Hugh took over the dance. He kept my back to Edward. His lovely baritone voice was humming along with the song. "Son, you dropped that ring, I would try and keep it safe," he warned Edward.

I watched Edward reflected in the black pupils of Hugh's eyes. The reflection grabbed at his jacket, hesitated at mine, and left.

The dancing stopped. The music stopped.

"He's gone, they are all gone. They won't remember anything about you." The words were harsh, but Hugh's voice held endless compassion.

"Won't he read my mind now?" I half hoped he would bust back in the door and refuse to leave.

"No, dollface. I am great at what I do. No matter how hard he loves you, he will never remember you. For about twenty minutes, those vampires will be a little blurry, but able to do basic things, like get home." His rumbly voice seemed to echo in the expanse of the almost empty club.

A thought stunned me stupid, I made my lips form the concern, "They won't lose their gifts or love for each other?" _Oh God_.

"No, no, no," Hugh was quick with his answer. "I only removed you and your time together with each of them, and of course, any memory of me or the club. Everything else remains for them," I nodded my head, I understood. I had not one clue what was next, what I should do.

"You'll stay here, with us." Hugh held his hand out to his beautiful bride, Barbara. They left me to myself. They knew I had yet to process what I had done. The Cullens were gone. Everything we had been through together was gone.

Edward was gone.

I fell to my knees.

Vampires can't cry.

But they can scream.

So my screaming started. So very loud and so very long, I was sure it would never stop. I tried to claw out my own dead heart. I felt the satisfaction of shredding my vampire skin. I knew my soul was cracking in half, but the pain was only mine.

Before Bella.

Before Bella and Edward.

There was Sasha.

There was Sasha and Edward.

Unforgettable.


	2. Shock a Vampire

Dr. Carlisle Cullen knew that his looks were distracting. He had hundreds of years of practice trying to get people overcome the chiseled perfection of his golden good looks, and really listen to him. Sadly, some never got past his eyes the color of butterscotch glistening in the sunshine, to hear his words.

Working in New York City was a bit easier then some parts of the United States. The human population was so diverse, they almost seemed supernatural themselves.

A true New Yorker did not get easily flustered. Their hardened, emotionless expression was their facial screen saver. Carlisle often thought he could walk out, skin sparkling in the sunshine, and not get a second look from the busy inhabitants of Manhattan. There was very little they had not already seen.

He grabbed his charts from Nala. She one of the most efficient nurses he had ever had the pleasure of dealing with. Since he had been practicing medicine since 1902, this was a considerable mental compliment.

His effort to walk with human mannerisms was second nature now. As was fidgeting, sitting and running his fingers threw his always-perfect hair.

He closed the door to his office with a gentle care, and then locked it. He could not hear the minds of anyone that passed by, like his vampire child, Edward. Nor could he see into the future, like the sweet Alice. Her adoption of the Cullens as a family had brought so much musical light to their world. Not to mention, the added benefit of knowing ahead of time what every choice each vampire in the family made would result in.

With the door locked, Carlisle was free to let his vampire nature allow him to be the most prolific doctor in existence. Of course, he had to publish papers and findings under aliases, or convince other doctors or researchers that his brilliant ideas were really their own. In his years as a vampire, he has lost the need to gain human recognition for his efforts. There was no need to see his name in lights for he was already immortal.

In the privacy of his hospital office, with no prying eyes, Carlisle was able to begin his routine. He put classical music on. One hand and an eye were reading a vintage account of a mysterious disease from the 1800's. The other hand and an eye were writing notes and making comparisons to a case in Idaho that another doctor and requested his opinion on. The antiquated book was from his personal library at home. It had been passed to him by the author himself. As Carlisle etched his notes in a tablet, the handwriting was a picture perfect Ariel font, with important words bolded, as if fresh from the printer. If the two cases he was comparing were as similar as they seemed, Carlisle thought there might be a need to alert the CDC to a possible infectious outbreak of viral bacteria the human population had thought was long defeated. His beautiful, meticulous brain was filtering out the different options and courses of treatment.

He felt like he was on the verge of a discovery, when the psychologist in the next office arrived to his place of work with a bang and a bump. The man was so incredibly loud it was phenomenal. The bodily function noises alone were almost at a level that would require a full medical work up. Phlegm clearing, flatulence, neck creaking, and knuckle cracking all made themselves audible visitors in Carlisle's office.

Even with hundreds of years of practicing patience, this man next door was going to drive him insane. Super vampire hearing was almost always a benefit. Not with Dr. Henry Stoole, he could make Jesus Christ lose his temper. Maybe it was because he was a constant drinker, Carlisle could hear the metal flask unscrewing in the office next door with a cringing squeak. Maybe, it was because Henry was the worst psychologist in the world, often accusing his patients of lying and always trying to medicate any concern they had. Between his hyper billing of insurances and the heavy kickbacks he got from brand name prescription drugs, there was precious little that could qualify as a redeeming quality for Henry.

He had been next door to Carlisle for a year now. Usually, the hospital director kept the office space next to Carlisle empty. It was an odd request that was well worth the benefit of having Dr. Cullen on staff. The renovations in the hospital had necessitated the crowding.

Carlisle took the interruption as time to reflect on his family. He gazed at their pictures on his desk. The hiking photo had them all paired up, Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Edward was standing in the back, smiling, by himself. Carlisle liked the picture because of the light in Edward's eyes. Emmett had dared Edward to take the picture without using the timer. Of course, Edward propped the camera in a tree, pressed the shutter button, and was in the photo before the flash. Edward had the thrill of a bet won in his eyes, and it almost masked the haunted loneliness that lurked in his golden eyes.

Despite the rustic photo, which was a prop for the humans, the Cullens were enjoying city life. Even though New York had its share of sunny days, the nightlife was so extensive, a group of people that preferred the night raised no suspicions. Edward could be piano player in a bar, Alice and Jasper could attend the Fashion Institute together (much to Jasper's protests) and Rosalie worked at a local car repair shop. Emmett was refusing to find a job to blend in, though he seemed happy.

Esme was loving working in an antique shop in Soho. It was almost perfect. Almost. If only Henry would just get reassigned to a different office.

Carlisle had the necessary steps in motion to get Henry in a new line of work all together. Carlisle's conscious would not allow him to be privy to the knowledge of all that went on next door without feeling somewhat responsible to the patient's stories he could not help but overhear. In the time Henry had been there, unlucky souls were forced to lay on the awful couch Henry still used more as tool to make him feel more superior than anything else. Many patients had recommendations for other doctors in their hand before they left the sliding doors of the hospital exit.

There was a tentative knock on Henry's door, his 3:00 appointment.

Carlisle settled in to overhear the conversation. He needed to be able to steer the new patient in the correct direction when offering a referral.

"_Come in!"_ Henry was twisting on the cap back onto his flask and shutting the third drawer down in his desk.

The doorknob turned. Henry straightened up in his chair. Carlsie could tell from his fidgeting that the patient was female, and most likely good looking.

"_Well, hello young lady. Please come in and lie down on the couch,"_ Henry had deliberately begun talking in a deeper voice.

_Good job Henry, she'll just fall all over herself for you now, _Carlisle mentally shook his head, but physically, he was as still as a statue holding pen to paper.

The new patient was timid. She murmured her greeting, but Carlisle could tell from the sound of her footsteps that she had decided to sit in the chair, not lay down. _Score one for the new girl, she didn't fall for Henry's power play._

Carlisle could hear the whispered, _"tisk"_ seeping from Henry's incompetent lips. Henry liked the upper hand. The patient was sitting in his chair, forcing Henry to sit on the couch.

"_Well, Miss Duncan, I have reviewed the file your previous doctor has sent over to me, a Dr…."_, Henry paused here to ruffle some papers to find his answer.

"_Dr. Lavender."_ Miss Duncan filled in helpfully for Henry.

"_Says here you hear voices in your head, and you refuse any medication to quiet these voices?"_ Henry couldn't wring the sarcasm out of his questioning voice.

Carlisle continued writing, while carefully listening to the goings-on next door.

"_Um. I think there might have been a mix up, I have a sort of special situation that requires me to meet with my doctor about once a week,"_ Miss Duncan seemed ready to run, her words perched tentatively like a butterfly on a flower's pedal.

"_Sasha, may I call you Sasha?"_, Henry continued without her assent, _"I understand that your previous doctor may have claimed to 'believe' you,"_ Carlisle could hear the air move around Henry's stubby fingers as he made the universal sign for quote around the word believe.

"_But I do not agree with feeding into my patients delusions. I will be straight with you from the get go. Voices in your head need to be treated with medication. I have seen good results with __**Mycocken**__." _Carlisle could not believe the audacity of Henry. The suppliers of **Mycocken** had dropped off a boatload of samples earlier that morning. The drug rep had promised the first doctor to prescribe it to 20 patients free tickets to a Broadway show.

"_**Mycocken**__"? Who names these drugs anyway?"_ Sasha said, more to herself then to Henry, _"Thank you for your time, Dr. Stoole. but I must be leaving."_

Poor Sasha had no idea how long Henry could make the walk from his couch to his office door.

"_Wait, Sasha , please! I'm sorry. Why don't you sit back down? Let us not be too hasty, I really feel I need some background from you. Words on paper can be so misleading."_ Carlisle googled Dr. Lavender with his free hand. A quick glance at the results on the screen determined two possible Dr. Lavender's in New York State. One was a psychologist.

More quick, vampire hand gestures brought up additional information. Dr. Valerie Lavender was highly respected, but on extended maternity leave at the moment.

The tension in the next room grew. Carlisle heard Sasha take in an exasperated breath. Apparently, Henry had changed his demeanor enough to have Sasha sit back down.

"_Ok. Where should I start?" _explaining her voices didn't seem to come easy to her.

She answered her own question, _"I have always had the spirits come to me, as long as I can remember. Even though they were part of my every recollection, I never felt at ease around them. I stuck close to my mother or sister, which they allowed. It was like I had no defenses, so many spirits came. By the time I reached school age, I was fearful of being without my parents and my sister, who was two grades ahead of me. I begin to try and tune them out. I got better at locking them out as I tried to let my teachers voices seep in,_" she shifted her feet and smoothed what sounded to be a skirt over her legs.

"_Continue.."_ Carlisle could picture Henry rolling his hand forward at the wrist.

"_Well, I eventually began to talk to the spirits, it seemed to take less energy then blocking them out. I'd always thought they were talking at me. Even if they asked for help, I didn't know what good I could do for them. So, I just struck up a conversation with an older gentleman's spirit that had been following me around. I was sitting on the top of the monkey bars, in what had to be about 3rd grade, and I just said, 'Hi!' He gave me a nod and seemed to want to talk about my day. I told him about my school play and he asked sweet questions, just like a grandfather,"_ Carlisle could hear the scratching of Henry's pen on a tablet of paper.

"_Why was the gentlemen so significant?"_ Henry sounded so coherent, very unlike him.

"_He told me that, basically, spirits want someone to hear them. I didn't necessarily have to do anything other then listen. Sometimes, a spirit needs to be reminded to move on," _Sasha took a large yoga inspired breath. Trusting anyone with this tale seemed to take a lot out of her.

"_Move on?"_ repeating a patient words in a question, Henry was really trying, which worried Carlisle.

"_Mostly, just guide them to the next level in their journey. I think that gentleman's spirit had been here a few times. I was very grateful for his help, "_ Carlisle heard her eye lashes press together. She was squinting. Carlisle guessed she was trying to see the impact her words had on the psychologist.

"_Well, there is only one thing to do Sasha. Talk to a ghost of mine,"_ he set his paper and pen down in a rustling movement.

"_It's not how it works, I can't call them like dogs. Sometimes people have a spirit lingering around them, sometimes they don't,"_ Sasha stood up once more. The shuffling of his feet indicated Henry was blocking her from the door with his body.

"_No one comes forward for you, I am sorry,"_ Sasha said it gently.

Henry's dry skin made a gentle crackle as he smirked,"_ Isn't that convenient?_"

"_I need to leave,"_ she was being quite emphatic. Carlisle was out the door of his office so quickly he had to remind himself to slow down. He was not going to allow Henry to make this girl any more uncomfortable then she already was.

"_Get out of my way!"_ The distinct noise of a struggle sounded from behind the flimsy, fake wood door. Carlisle could hear Henry squeezing the tops of Sasha's arm in an effort to keep her in the room. Carlisle opened the door to Henry's office.

"Hello, Henry, is there a problem here?" the words were friendly and Carlisle's face was an artfully composed mask of calm, but the energy that radiated from him was pure anger. Like birds roused from the shelter of brush, both humans in the room sensed danger. Carlisle had seen the reaction before. A human's reptilian brain reacted before their reasoning kicked in. It is always best not to sneak up on them.

Sasha stepped back from Henry. Carlisle expected to see her face indignant, angry or even scared having been held by this stranger against her will but, instead he saw resignation there. This wasn't the first time someone had lost his or her composure with Sasha.

Carlisle stepped inside and shut the door behind him, glancing at the notes Henry had left on the coffee table.

"**-Good looking**

**-Well spoken**

**-Possible T.V. show like John Edward?**

**-Jewelry line**

**-Endorsed Bibles?"**

Carlisle almost chuckled at the audacity. This man was here thinking of marketing a patient. He was Dr. Phil meets Jerry Springer. Carlisle mentally kicked Emmett for watching that junk, he did not want to be able to make those analogies. Henry did not care how much clinical help she needed.

Henry hardly looked in Carlisle's direction. His attention and red face was riveted on the woman he had been holding, "You see, Miss Duncan, if you really could see ghosts, you would see my son. I was in a car accident when he was six. He was in the backseat. His last words were 'Daddy, no.' So he would be here. He would be here." Every word snapped like a sheet drying in the wind. Henry's hand gestures had gotten dramatic and angry.

"No, sir. I would not see your son," she spoke gently despite Henry's obvious rage. "I rarely see a child's spirit. They are pure innocence and when their life ends, their spirits have a tremendous job. The beautiful, positive energy that leaves their body immediately goes to the hearts of those who loved them. He is the glue that holds your heart together; he does not need to move on. He is right where he belongs. To get comfort from him all you need to do is concentrate on his love," Sasha waited to see how Henry would take the message.

Carlisle's thought her speech was quite beautiful. She spoke with conviction and softness. Dealing in death and spirits seemed to come easily enough to her, if she was to be believed.

Henry left the room with out so much as a nod in Sasha's direction.

Carlisle stepped off to the side, leaving the door ajar. He wanted Sasha to know she was free to leave.

"Hello, I overheard the disagreement and wanted to make sure everything was ok. My name is Dr. Cullen," he spoke in the most clinically formal voice.

"Sasha Duncan," she responded to Carlisle's greeting, but her eyes followed Henry out the door, eyebrows knitted in concern.

Carlisle was thinking of how to work in a recommendation for another doctor, while still seeming professional, when he watched Sasha's eyes slide to his left and focus there.

"Hi," she was clearly not addressing him anymore.

"Father? I can't see how that is possible," she was arguing to a space next to him as if it was a person.

Carlisle was starting to wonder if Henry wasn't better at his job then originally thought. The girl seemed to be cracking up.

"I will give him the message," Sasha whispered this last part like a prayer or a secret.

Carlisle assessed her as he would any patient. Her murky green eyes were equal and properly dilated. He could hear her heartbeat, and that was a nice rhythmic, healthy sound. He sniffed the air, his acute vampire sense of smell can actually detect certain maladies, such as high cholesterol or cancer. She smelled fine. Her hair was long, dark blonde and very shiny. Looking at hair during patient assessment was a holdover from the time when he actually was a human. You could tell a surprising amount from hair condition. Judging from her body, the yoga breath came from regular practice that made her long and lean.

She put those murky green eyes on his. The reluctance in her body language was unmistakable.

"Dr. Cullen, I have a message for you from a very antique spirit claiming to be your father," she said simply, and then bit her lower lip.

It takes a lot to shock a 440-year-old vampire, but Sasha had certainly succeeded in shocking him.


	3. Carlisle, say Hello to Papa

Carlisle never stumbled or needed to sit, the vampire tendency is to be still. So shocking him had rendered him statue-like. No blinking, no breathing, just being matter taking up space. He recovered quickly. Sasha had not even completed two cycles of inhaling and exhaling, before he resumed the masquerade of involuntary reflexes.

Had she noticed? Carlisle needed to complete his recommendation for another doctor. Carlisle needed to assure this girl that what she had seen could not possibly be his father. Surely, it wasn't. She was suffering from delusions. He needed to call ahead to the doctor and recommend full neurological testing. Despite her healthy appearance, she could have a tumor pressing on her frontal lobe, creating this personality disorder.

Carlisle needed to do all these things.

Instead, he asked Sasha, "What is he wearing?"

She placed her gaze on the spot to his left again. She tilted her head, then nodded to the air and made a turn around motion with her finger.

_Did the air move? Just a tiny infinitesimal bit?_ A chill ran down Carlisle's spine. _Could it be?_

"I am bad with dating clothes, I apologize, but I want to say maybe in the time of Elizabeth the first?" she bit her lip again. "The man is adamant he is your father, which makes no sense at all."

Being a vampire that was co-habiting in the world of humans required Carlisle to do certain things, follow certain rules. Keeping his true nature secret was the first rule. So, Sasha needed to disappear. Carlisle might need to get his son, Edward to read her mind and make sure this incident did not cause her to become suspicious.

But Carlisle had broken the rules before,

"Please, Miss Duncan, would you mind coming into my office, tell my father to join us." Carlisle smiled to put her at ease.

Sasha grabbed her purse from the floor and walked out the door Carlisle gestured towards. He managed to get to his office door before her, and open it in a gentlemanly way.

She had to pass close to him to enter his office.

She stopped just a few steps in, and Carlisle filled the space right behind her. He closed the door gently, but he could not disguise the click of the lock as he pressed it in.

All Carlisle had to do was lean down and his cold lips would be on her throat. He let his gaze rest on the thin, blue vein that looked like the inviting ribbon on a beautifully wrapped gift.

"What are you?" Sasha asked calmly.

Carlisle looked up and saw that the whole tableau was reflected in his dark, tinted office windows. The tint he required to keep the sun from betraying his skin, that glittered like a wet diamond in its light, was defeating him from the inside out. It became an unintentional mirror.

"Pardon?" Carlisle stepped a respectable distance from the girl.

She faced him with a pleasant face, not one who had witnessed her impending death.

"What is your specialty, Doctor?" Stating the obvious.

"I am a general practitioner, but I have a background in psychology." That was a huge understatement. Carlisle had a background in every specialty. Endless time equals endless degrees.

"I assume you were expecting a session today, and as it turns out, I have a block of time available. I can also recommend another doctor in the area." Carlisle took this time to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk, refusing to take the position of power behind it.

"Your father would like me to stay." She took the seat next to his and set her purse down.

Carlisle was having difficulty believing that particular nugget of information. The last human memory Carlisle had of his father was following him in a mob that was out to attack a perceived vampire. In a bit of irony, the mob had found an actual vampire, instead of a poor, misunderstood mortal. Carlisle had taken his last necessary breath in the arms of that vampire. The vampire changed Carlisle. He became the thing his father crusaded against. A lot had changed since the 1500's, but if Carlisle's father was in this room, Carlisle was quite sure that it would not be a friendly family reunion.

Both Sasha and Carlisle waited for the other to start the conversation.

She buckled first, "The man that claims you as a son is still to your left. He says he has been there since you changed." It was almost as if the dynamic of the room had shifted, Carlisle became the patient, seeking information.

"What did he do for a living?" Carlisle was reluctant to ask any questions. _What if the girl really could speak with spirits? What if his father said too much?_

"He says he was a pastor. He sought to persecute others like you." Sasha was right. And his father had edited appropriately, which was confusing. The father in Carlisle's human life would have wanted his vampire ways revealed. "An abomination against God and everything holy," was an exact excerpt from one of his father's sermons.

"He refuses to move on until you have heard him out."

"He is lucky I ran into you then," Carlisle raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

She ignored his gentle joke, and concentrated on the space to his left.

"Dr. Cullen, your father regrets how life turned out for you."

_Now, the girl was getting closer to the mark._

"He wishes your attacker had found him first. Your eternity of burdens makes him reluctant to leave." Carlisle stopped worrying about the girl's safety and the unwritten code of vampires not to reveal themselves to humans. He put his elbows on his knees and nodded for her to continue.

"Your father's message is simple, basically, he is proud. What you have done with this curse afflicted on you has saved so many. He wants me to tell you he loves you." She let the information sink in.

Carlisle soul was aflame. His father loved him? In his horrid, cursed vampire form? Carlisle had spent centuries overcompensating for his nature. He used his powers for all the good he could pack in a minute, in a day, in over four lifetimes. And all this time he was sure his own father would damn him. Damn him straight to hell.

If this girl was to be believed. This mental patient he had basically kidnapped from the office next door. For all he knew, Sasha would leave this office clucking like a chicken.

"I can tell this information is something you need to process, so I will leave you to it. Thank you Dr. Cullen." She stood to leave.

"You are welcome, Sasha." Carlisle wanted to stop her, but he stood up and walked her to the door. She had come to receive treatment, and instead gave two doctors spiritual counseling.

"Please take my card." Carlisle took out an elegant business card with his name, office number and cell number. He had the printers remove his picture when he found that the nurse population had been collecting them like baseball cards.

Sasha took the card, flipped it over and used her palm as leverage. She slipped a pen out of the chest pocket of Carlisle's white coat and jotted her cell number and name on the back. She handed the pen and card back to Carlisle.

He was surprised. Sasha did not seem like the forward type and his wedding ring was easily visible.

"Dr. Cullen, if you have any questions I can answer for you, please give me a call. I think this reading was shock for you, and unusual for me, at the very least. I hate to leave so soon after giving someone that kind of news, but I am exhausted and I have to go walk my dog. Thank you again." And she walked out.

As Carlisle closed the door behind her, all of his vampireness settled like a cloak over him. He was pacing at a blurry speed. Then, in the next instant, he was as still as a stone behind his desk. He was staring at the family picture again. Specifically at his son Edward. A beautiful soul whose gift for reading minds had separated him from others. There had been no lasting love for Edward.

Carlisle was afraid of his next thought. Right after his father had told Carlisle he was proud of him, Carlisle had a horrible idea.

_Sasha would make an amazing vampire._


	4. Edward, Could you read a mind, Please?

It was such a snap judgment. Carlisle had only made four irrational, selfish choices in his long life. Their names were Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. His self-created family. Each had been on death's door when he changed them into an eternal predator. He soothed himself with the thought that the world would be a less beautiful place without them. They were so magnificent in life that they deserved to be immortalized in waking death.

But Sasha was perfectly healthy, if only he had sensed a little cancer. Carlisle actually shook his head in disgust.

Edward had such a lofty opinion of Carlisle. He needed to do the right thing, as was always expected by his son.

He ran the "reading" through his head again. Some of what Sasha had said was bordering on dangerous. Carlisle had no idea how much Sasha edited a spirit. As he hit the speed dial attributed to Edward's cell phone, he made two decisions. One, Edward needed to find the girl and listen to her thoughts. _Did she suspect anything untoward about Carlisle's nature?_

Two, he believed Sasha was the real deal, which means his deepest wound, the lack of approval from his father, would start to heal.

Carlisle was lucky. He rarely had to relay on faith and belief anymore, he had Edward.

"Yes?" Edward answered as soon as the phones were connected.

"Son, could you possibly stop by my office before your set tonight?" Carlisle felt a twinge of guilt as he requested Edward's presence and use of his gift.

"Of course, I will be there as soon as possible." The phone disconnected.

As soon as the sun set, Carlisle made sure he was waiting for Edward in his office.

Carlisle knew when Edward was close, because any female he passed in the busy hospital corridors had an accelerated heartbeat.

Edward knocked gently and came in, hearing Carlisle's welcoming thoughts.

Carlisle waited for the door to close before he greeted his son with a handshake and half hug. He adored the boy. _Man_, he amended. Edward was 70 years old, far from a child, though his apparent age was anywhere between 17 and 21, depending on the clothes and back story that was told to those who were doing the judging.

Edward smiled genuinely at his adoptive father. Edward had known nothing but love and acceptance from his human and his vampire fathers.

Carlisle said nothing, and began flipping through the afternoon's scene in his head. He refused to edit. Every thought, every nuisance was displayed with his vampire-perfect recall.

Edward looked thoughtful, appalled and surprised at all the appropriate moments.

"Carlisle, I agree the girl's thoughts must be read, obviously. Just from her words, I think we are safe, but I will check to be sure." Cautious, careful Edward.

"Wouldn't it have been prudent to just give her a referral and move on?" Edward's observation was correct, of course.

_I wanted to see if she could speak with my father's spirit, _Carlisle thought to Edward. Carlisle felt sheepish at this admission.

Edward was reassuring, "I will find out what she suspects and if her talent is genuine." Both men would never judge at hints of the supernatural, considering their own mystical nature.

Carlisle handed his business card with Sasha's number scribbled on the back.

Edward took the card and pocketed it, even though the name and number were already branded in his memory.

In a moment, Edward was gone. Carlisle noticed that Edward had not mentioned the weakness Carlisle shown in listening to Sasha's reading. Edward also forgot to reprimand hismfor his match making thoughts.

Carlisle smiled as he grabbed the next file from his desk, a prop for the mid-aged male patient was about to see. Unlike a waitress that worked without writing things down, doctors without pens and papers did not inspire confidence.


	5. Hot Dog Man

Edward called Jasper as soon as he hit the sidewalk outside of the hospital.

"Jazz, can you look up 'Sasha Duncan' phone number 212-505-8934 for me please?" Jasper was quick to pull out his laptop. Jasper had a magnificently shady side to him. He had no qualms working slightly outside the human laws to secure information his family might need. Edward was not even sure he wanted to know what illegal website Jasper would pull this information from.

"Sasha Duncan, 23 year old, kindergarten teacher, lives at 160 Place Blvd. Trump Place. She rents a subsidized apartment with a roommate. She has a great work record with no arrests. She grew up in Westchester County, in the suburbs. Is that good enough for now?" Jasper was all business. Speaking to Jasper on the phone was slightly disconcerting, because Edward was used to the tingling calm Jasper administered to his loved ones in his presence.

"That is plenty, thank you," Edward slipped the phone into his pocket and headed in the direction of the Trump Place building.

Walking the streets of Manhattan while being able to read minds was like seeing a sparkling, sunlit piece of stained glass. All the different languages and thoughts weave in and out with one another, to create a swirl of music that Edward classified as specifically 'city'. As he got closer to Sasha's building, he ran the mental picture of her from Carlisle's memory. He liked how the 'memory Sasha' had dealt with the two doctors. She was kind and understanding with them both. Edward wondered if sympathizing with a possible mental patient was the best of choices. Than again, one of his best friends and his dearest sister had spent most of her life in mental institutions. He pondered calling Alice to see how this whole detective thing was going to turn out, when he heard the words '_Dr. Cullen'_ in a mind.

Edward slowed his pace and opened up his mind like a set of French windows, letting the voices around him sweep in. He found the voice again and concentrated on weeding it out from all the others.

_I hope Dr. Cullen is doing ok. He seemed like his reading came as such a shock. Why was his father's spirit be so old?_

Sasha's brain pictured her paranormal experience inside Carlisle's office.

As clear as day, Edward could see Carlisle's father standing to the left of his son in Sasha's memory. The look on his father's face was one of pure love and regret.

Edward realized he had slowed down to almost a standstill. The shock of seeing a ghost was forcing him back to his nature of stillness. He walked to a nearby hot dog vendor, and proceeded to order. The hot dog would be a good excuse to wait for Sasha's brain and her body to match up in Edward's eyesight.

_I wonder if I should go back to him. He seems very kind, but there was that moment._

Here, Sasha pictured Carlisle looking for an instant too long at her neck in the reflection of the windows.

Edward was again bewildered to see that side of Carlisle. Usually, the doctor had such control, especially in a hospital setting. That glance would not be alarming in any other vampire, but in Carlisle, it seemed almost sacrilegious.

Edward held still as a blond Cocker Spaniel leaped up and stole his hot dog. The spaniel proceeded to scarf the treat down with wild abandon.

The girl at the end of the leash scooped up the blond beast and reached into its throat to salvage the last half of his hot dog.

"Oh, crap. Sir, I am so sorry," Sasha Duncan was standing in front of him holding out the mangled hot dog in one hand and the wiggling dog in her under her other arm.

"Here, um, I saved some of it," She set the spaniel down. It settled into a behaved sit and wagged its little stump of a tail. It seemed to know that the rest of the hot dog would come its way eventually.

"That's fine, really, I was not that hungry anyway." Edward's voice hit her ears like honey pouring into milk.

She put her murky, dark green eyes on his golden ones.

Edward waited for the reaction to his looks, which would inevitably come.

_Damn it, Pudge. Why do you always steal hot dogs from good looking guys?_

She didn't seem to know what to do with the mangled dog. First, she went to hand it to Edward, but thought better of it. Then she went to give it to Pudge, but did not want to reward the dog for its vandalism. She wound up putting the hot dog in the pocket of her jacket.

"Mister, can I buy you another hot dog?" _Not that I brought any money out with me to walk the evil dog._

Edward was half tempted to take her up on her offer, just to see what she would do.

"No, but thanks for the offer." He gave her a gentlemanly nod.

"I have such a crappy dog. She is just for crap. Look at her. She has the eyes of a serial killer, no remorse whatsoever." _Stop saying crap to the hot dude, Sasha, s_he reprimanded herself mentally.

Edward looked dutifully at the crappy dog, which was actually acting pretty unremorseful at the moment. The dog was so intent on Sasha's pocket with the meat in it, she did not exhibit the normal canine reaction to shy away from a predator like Edward.

"I am going to choke the life out of her. Again, I am really sorry." Edward watched Sasha jaywalk across the street with the dog following close by her heels, headed for her apartment building.

Sasha's thoughts were filled with embarrassment and gold-colored eyes.

This was not good. She was comparing his eyes and Carlisle's, wondering if they were the exact same color.


	6. Listen to a ghost

Edward had been expecting Sasha's pretty face and the sound of her voice, having seen her in Carlisle's memory. He had not expected the tingle of recognition when he looked in her eyes. He had butterflies in his stomach and electric running on the surface of his skin.

Edward had his phone to his ear again. "Hey, I may need to monitor this one a bit. Could you please see if there are any available apartments at the address you gave me earlier?" Jasper did not even respond before he disconnected the line. Edward knew his friend and brother was already running through all the possibilities to answer Edward's question. Jasper's military background made him perfect for plans of attack, even if they were just seeking information, not plundering a city.

Edward found a nearby ally to wait. He pretended to play a game on his cell phone, looking at his watch every once in a while like he was waiting. Jasper's call interrupted the game.

Without a preamble Jasper launched into the details, "The couple that lives above Sasha and her roommate, happen to be on a cruise. You have 10 days until they return. They have no pets, and a cleaning woman arrives on Thursdays. Will that do? "

"Perfect Jasper. Please tell Carlisle I am still looking into the matter we discussed." Edward was already headed around the building. The lobby to the apartments came equipped with a doorman that greeted everyone by name, and a security guard that manned an expensive looking desk.

Not that any of these things were an obstacle for Edward, but it is always good to have the layout in mind.

Around the building and in an alley to the left, Edward spotted a pool light spilling from an emergency exit door that was propped open with a well used brick. From the litter of cigarette butts, Edward thought this might be a professed quitter's illegal hideout.

He picked the brick up and brought it inside, setting it on a nearby metal heater, where it obviously waited for the next smoke break.

Edward was in the building using no vampire tricks whatsoever. If someone with evil intentions avoided the front door, getting into this building was no problem at all. He thought of Sasha and her dog here in Manhattan. If he were lucky enough to be able to leave her in peace, he would send an anonymous complaint about this practice.

Edward tried not to think about the alternative, if, perchance, he would not be able to leave her in peace. Keeping the smoker door shut would be the least of concerns if she were a danger to his vampire family.

Edward found the apartment that was vacated by the happy couple on the cruise. He picked the lock easily enough, being able to read minds gave Edward every advantage when breaking and entering, any suspicious minds being broadcast loud and clear.

He looked around a bit. The couple was tidy, and had many pictures of two apple cheeked grandchildren. The woman had exactly fourteen sweatshirts with the word "Grandma" written in glitter or sequins hanging in her closet. The man was an avid car fan. Various makes and models were displayed on shelves. Edward had to admit, the gentleman had good taste. Edward had actually owned almost every single car represented.

He stood in the center of the apartment to intrude on the thoughts in the apartment below him.

Sasha verbal communication to her roommate was, _"No, I am fine, I totally understand."_ Her words belayed her thoughts, _Oh god I hate being alone, please don't leave._

_"Great Sasha, Frank and I want to hit the gym early tomorrow."_ Jean was thinking of her boyfriend, a professional firefighter for the city. The door shutting ended their farewells and Sasha's impression was that she was alone with her thoughts.

She immediately turned on the TV, the radio and all the lights. Edward saw in the fear in her mind, but she refused to let the fear form a coherent thought for him to read.

Edward wondered if she had, by some miracle, figured out what Carlisle and Edward were, and was knew that she was being watched.

Sasha went into what was obviously, a bedtime routine, with the serial killer-eyed Pudge following her around fatefully. The dog seemed to sense his master's unease.

Edward left her thoughts alone to give her privacy during her more human moments.

He waited a bit, standing still in the center of the apartment he was in. With no eyes to see him, Edward reverted to motionlessness.

Audible words from below caused him to dive back into her brain.

_"Come on, Pudge, jump!"_

She was curled into bed and Pudge, the dog, was able to join her after three running starts. Sasha laughed at the dog and pulled Pudge up on the last jump. The dog settled at her covered feet and was snoring in an embarrassingly short time.

Sasha waited for sleep. She was doing a remarkably effective job at cleansing her brain. Edward could feel the numbness starting to spread. Sasha attempting to get the sleep no vampire ever had the pleasure of enjoying.

In her last heavy lidded blink, her room went from empty to occupied.

The shock was so sudden and complete, Edward dropped into a defensive pose and bared his teeth. _It must be a vampire, the thing had moved so quick._

In the time it took for Sasha to suck in a surprised gasp, Edward realized her ghost had ambushed her.

He looked at the room through her eyes.

Standing near the end of Sasha's bed was an older woman.

The ghost looked so confused. Her spirit appeared to Sasha in the clothes she favored when she was alive, a beaded colorful sweater was draped over her shoulders.

Edward realized his fingernails were digging into his palms. He was at war with himself. Part of him wanted to punch a hole in the floor he was standing on, and tell the girl below she was not alone in the room with a ghost. The other part of him demanded Edward listen and gather information.

_Was this her mania? Is this what drives her to therapy?_ He also could not be totally sure her ghost was not just a manifestation of her own brain.

Sasha spoke out loud, _"Please, look at me."_ She urged the ghost.

_I just need to get her calm and focused._ Sasha's reasonable thoughts helped Edward stay in the apartment above the bedroom.

_"What is your name?" _Sasha's demeanor reminded Edward of the trauma nurses that Carlisle worked with in the ER, friendly but determined.

The ghost straitened up her posture. Seemingly remembering her manners, the ghost held out her hand for Sasha to shake. _This part is tricky. I can't shake her hand. It would be too much of a shock for her to find that she had lost density._

The ghost looked at Sasha curiously when she declined the simple gesture with the shake of her head.

_"My name is Betty. I was on my way to my poker game."_ The ghost's voice was charming, with a hint of a southern accent.

_"What do you play?"_ Sasha smiled encouraged Betty.

_"Hold'em. What else is there?"_ Betty was adorable.

_She is feisty, I like her. _Sasha's thoughts were so decisive, then remorseful.

_And now I will break her heart._

_"Betty, sweetheart, you didn't make it to your game. I am so sorry. Do you remember anything?"_

Betty looked down, became flustered and focused back on Sasha's calm face.

_"My cell phone rang. I hate that blasted thing. I never answer it when I am driving. But I started to look for it. I took my eyes from the road for a moment, and then.."_

Betty took a gasping breath, _"I crashed. I crashed the car. Everything hurt at once."_

Betty's ghost started to stumble.

Sasha flipped her covers off and stepped closer to the Betty. _"Sweetheart, you died in that car crash. You need to move on. Pass to the other side."_

Betty's eyes filled with tears.

_"No. No. no. My Bill, I can't leave him here. We have been married for over 50 years. He doesn't know how to be without me. I cook, and he sets the table. We clear the table together. Every time. Every time."_

Sasha yearned to put her arms around the ghost.

_"Betty, when you get where you are going you will still feel his heart and his love, and you can send him your love. The sooner we can get you there, the sooner he can feel you again."_

Betty steeled herself, _"You tell me what I need to do for Bill, and I will do it."_

_She is so brave, I bet she was a real spitfire in life._

Sasha proceeded to coach Betty, _"Go. Go to where the positive energy is strongest. Let it carry you Betty, you have lived a beautiful life."_

Sasha could smell a hint of vanilla and see a gentle plume of light, and Betty was gone. _"Goodbye, Betty"_ Sasha whispered the last part.

Sasha climbed back into bed, dragged Pudge's snoring form to her like a teddy bear. Edward watched as it took hours for Sasha to settle her thoughts. She was ping ponging between wanting to go find Betty's Bill and getting on with her normal life.

The guilt Sasha felt puzzled Edward, what he had witnessed was quite beautiful. While hearing her thoughts, he was surprised at how much responsibility Sasha thought belonged to her. Surely, she knew that sending a ghost into the next life had to be enough.

Edward ran his hand through his hair. Here he was, believing in this girl's delusions. He knew better then anyone that someone's mind could be far from reality.

He was still listening to her mind, juding from syrupy quality of her thoughts, she was almost completely free of her demons. Just as Sasha was letting her eyelashes close like a curtain over her and Edward's view of her room, Edward saw a flash of movement. _Another ghost._

Sasha's human brain didn't register the murmur in her ear, for it lasted but a split second.

Edward felt Sasha fall right into the bliss of sleep. She began to dream of gold colored-eyes.

There was no way that Sasha had heard the warning. But a vampire could hear it loud and clear.

The hissing whisper had said _"There is a killer close, and he is watching you."_


	7. Is she extra tasty?

Edward would have to wait until morning to see if she had retained what the ghost had said.

Edward decided to give Carlisle an update. Speaking to his father usually gave him a healthy dose of clarity.

"Son, how is it going?" Carlisle's voice was so trusting, even with something this important.

"I think her talent is genuine, Carlisle." Edward detailed the evening's events, but he left out the strong pull the girl seemed to have on him.

"Edward, I know I should be more alarmed. But all I can muster is relief. I am so grateful my father really did come to me." Edward heard such lightness in Carlisle's voice. "The knowledge that my father was proud of what I have become sits with me like a medal of valor." Edward heard Esme's gentle, supportive murmuring in the background.

This was a night that healed hundreds of years of wrong. How many times had Sasha changed a life with her gift? How many Carlisles were walking around feeling elated at this very moment because Sasha had given of her time and herself to make a connection for them?

If she did this for a living, Sasha could surely make more money then she could ever spend. And yet she was a school teacher, staying up most of night worrying about a person that was already dead.

The kinship Edward felt with Sasha was born. He knew what it was like to hear things others did not. He knew how to alter his own behavior to aid someone else and receive no accolades for it.

The Cullens ruminated on the possibilities of Sasha and their future over the cell phone lines.

Carlisle's elation seemed to make his tongue freer, "Edward, if she awakes with suspicions about us, we may have to make some tough choices. Choices we would not normally make." Edward knew what Carlise was hinting at.

Turning Sasha into a vampire seemed like a drastic choice.

Carlisle had made four vampires in his time here on earth. First, Edward, then Esme, then Rosalie and lastly, Emmett, and each time, the future vampire had been hanging in the jaws of death, either from injuries or sickness.

Grasping a healthy human being and sinking vampire teeth into a vulnerable neck, just seemed an abomination to everything the Cullens stood for. This was such an unusual case.

"She has a family, Carlisle. And what of the venom? If she survives, and her abilities are intensified, like mine, what will we be dealing with?" Edward tried to keep the protective edge out of his voice.

"Of course, this is an extreme leap of possible outcomes. We have to see what the girl knows, Edward, we may be able to just walk away and leave her be," Carlisle clarified.

"I will monitor her and call in sick to Phillion's" The boss would not be in until the afternoon, one of the perks of running a piano bar.


	8. See them how they really are

Edward cast his mind in every direction, trying to pick up the head that went with the male thoughts. The owner of the thoughts was gone. In all the time that Edward had been reading minds, he has never lost one in a crowd.

He relied on his other vampire senses. Edward could smell a faint, earthy smell of another vampire. One that was very good at concealing themselves in the City. Edward tried not to overreact, large cities often attracted more then its share of vampires.

The thoughts had obviously ended as quickly as it had formed, for the thinker had not perseverated on it.

Either way, Edward silently thanked the rain and clouds for holding the sun hostage. He would be able to follow Sasha and now he really wanted to keep her close.

Edward stayed outside, waiting for Sasha and staying alert for the random vampire that might resurface.

By the time she had walked outside, she was dressed for work. Kindergarten teachers obviously did not have to dress up. Her jeans and a casual button down shirt were covered by a trench coat. Her umbrella was an outrageous pattern of yellow school busses and apples.

She began walking, a favored mode of transportation in Manhattan. Four and a half blocks later, she rushed into a school building. Edward settled in a nearby coffee shop. It was close enough that he could still hear her thoughts, but avoid being the creepy guy standing outside the elementary school.

Alice showed up a few minutes after he ordered a prop coffee and had settled in a table by the front window.

Alice's thoughts were as musical and pleasant as she was. Jasper waited on the sidewalk; he gave Edward a manly nod and greeted him mentally. Alice had some books and Edward's laptop computer to give him.

She smiled at Edward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"My class starts in a few minutes, but I saw that you would need these." Alice sat directly on top of his table and folded her legs in a graceful yoga position.

"Do you know how all this observing will work out for me?" Edward watched as Alice's consciousness slipped from her eyes and refocused on her inner power.

Edward followed her inside her head.

He had never seen such blurry, unfocused visions from Alice before. He could see a rooftop, he could see a nightclub, and the last scene was Sasha lying in a pool of blood.

Alice came back to him. Although he could see her visions, he needed to wait for her to interpret the feeling that went with them.

"I am very unfocused about this girl. Her future is so changeable, I feel like I am playing a carnival game," her luminous gold eyes filled with confusion, "Your future is tied up in hers, it is so tangled, in and out. I think we need some time to let the future set up a little." Alice attitude was positive in general, but she found herself being the bearer of bad news to her loved ones a lot of the time.

Edward tried to make things as easy as he could for her, "Thank you, what time is your class?"

_In about 3 seconds._ Alice winked along with her thought.

"Taking the subway again?" Half of Edward's mouth curved into a smile.

_Jasper's favorite_. Alice fluidly put her feet on the ground. She all but danced out the door and spun into Jasper's waiting arms.

Alice had taken to running to her F.I.T. classes with Jasper. They stuck to the subway tunnels and ran at a breakneck speed, hopping out of the way of oncoming trains. Carlisle disapproved, he preferred his family to try and refrain from acting on their faster nature around humans. Jasper was under immense pressure. Before becoming a Cullen, Jasper had a diet of purely human blood. The taste of it was proving a tough addiction to beat. The run released some of his tension.

Edward checked on Sasha without getting up from his seat.

For all the world, he looked to be a busy man on a computer, but he was in Sasha's head as she reviewed her lesson plans and organized the toys. A quick glace to make sure everything in place as she was headed out the door. The classroom she was leaving looked like none Edward had ever seen before. There was a swing and beanbag chairs. For the first time, he wondered what Sasha was going to do with these kids.

Edward saw her with his actual eyes on the sidewalk waiting for the children. Bus after bus emptied, Sasha waved and spoke to the children, but did not follow them inside.

Finally, the last bus pulled up. Sasha's brain and body were instantly on-point. This was her job, and she took it seriously.

Edward watched as the two women on the bus went about unbuckling the children.

Sasha went to stand by the wheelchair exit. First to come off the bus was a little girl. Her small body was twisted and held in her chair by a five-point harness. The little girl was shaking slightly and drooling. Edward flinched. _How do you teach a child like that?_ He felt sympathy for Sasha, her day must be so depressing. He listened to Sasha's thoughts and looked at the little girl through Sasha's eyes.

He couldn't help but smile. The last thing Sasha felt was depressed. In her eyes, there was a sweet little angel in that wheelchair. Instead of seeing drool, she saw the smile that the little girl was giving her. Instead of a twisted body, she only saw Katelyn in her very own brave, innocent perfection. Sasha pulled a towel out of her pocket and wiped the girl's face.

Child after child, Edward watched as Sasha saw each one for they really were. The limitations that locked some of them in their bodies, didn't differ them, in Sasha's opinion, from the children who had walked in the building unaided. She led them all inside with help from various aides and two teacher's assistants' that Sasha deeply respected. Just before she closed the secure door, a mother rushed a child out of a cab.

Sasha dropped to one knee, soaking her jeans straight through.

She grasped the child by the shoulders.

"_Calvin, Good Morning!"_ Sasha waited, watching Calvin's eyes. The boy's eyes rolled around in his sockets, seemingly trying to avoid latching on to her gaze.

Sasha said her greeting again, _"Calvin, Good Morning!"_

Edward's interest was peeked. He slipped into the boy's mind. In the time Calvin was looking around, his brain was flipping through what seemed like index cards filled with little snippets of time. In these snippets, Sasha had a featured roll. At a breakneck speed, Edward saw Sasha meet the child for the first time, every greeting she had practiced with him, and her spinning Calvin in the classroom swing. Then the child ran through every time Sasha had hugged him or praised him. He liked the hugs the best. It made him feel like all his pieces were put back together. Calvin's index card stopped flipping on the feeling of 'safe'. He locked eyes with Sasha and in a high pitched voice he made his choice, _"Hello, Miss Duncan."_

Edward went back into Sasha's mind just in time to feel her intense pleasure, _When he looks at me like that I know he is in there._

Edward smiled at his table in the coffee shop. He had seen that kind of pleasure in a woman's mind before, but a man on his knee holding a large diamond had always preceded it.


	9. Brick Red Ferrari Enzo

Sasha's day was chock full of activities for the children. She was upbeat, happy, and encouraging. The kids were treated to stories, toys, and all sorts of sensory challenges.

By the end of the day, when Katelynn was loaded back on the bus with the other children, Sasha was exhausted, but content. She stayed a bit longer to get her plans ready for the next day. Sasha compared notes with a fellow special education kindergarten teacher. The forty-year veteran had been in the business of teaching children that, in previous decades Edward had lived through, were considered unteachable. Sasha held the woman's opinion in high esteem.

During his surveillance, Edward moved from the coffee shop. He made himself inconspicuous. Luckily, a storm front had worked in his favor, keeping the sky topped with a frothy latte of clouds. He did take notice of a fully enclosed playground adjacent to the school. The only access was from inside the building. This school was serious about keeping the children inside the brick building or the fringe of the high metal enclosure surrounding the playground.

Sasha had no lengthy thoughts about Carlisle, him, or the vampire reference from the night before.

Edward could tell when she was at work she was on her game. After witnessing her day, he saw that her concentration really had very little time to wander. He did notice that her hand kept finding a gold crayon to make notes and scrawl messages. I think she likes the eyes.

Despite his intense monitoring, the vampire who had the suspicious thoughts Edward heard had not returned. Edward trailed Sasha as she made her way home from work. She took an extremely animated Pudge to the dog park. Edward actually laughed out loud as he watched Pudge stealthy steal two unfortunate gentlemen's hot dogs on the walk home. Sasha's blush that corresponded with each larceny had caused quick forgiveness in the victims. Sasha was mortified that Pudge had found her trick with the gold-eyed man so effective on others. I am going to have to start carrying some money with me on walks. When they returned, Edward resumed his stance in the apartment above Sasha's.

After a week, Edward found that Sasha said what was on her mind. Literally, if she thought it, she said it. He discovered that Sasha's roommate was also her sister. The girls' mother called every day. The children in Sasha's classroom were considered 'hers' and Sasha thought of them often.

What stood out most for Edward was her hopefulness. Her mind was almost constantly laced with hope. Seeing the silver lining instead of a dark cloud seemed to be embedded in her nature.

The ghosts still came to her. Her main goal seemed to be to get the spirit to realize they were dead, listen to their last earthly concerns, and encourage them to pass on. Even faced with the end of at least one life every night, Sasha woke the next morning thinking, Enjoy the day you're in. It seemed to be her motto to ease the self-imposed responsibility she felt she was neglecting when it came to the living people the spirits left behind.

At night, after Sasha's murky green eyes had done enough for a day and rested, Edward would consult Carlisle.

"I think a few more days might do it." Carlisle was becoming increasingly sure that Edward had heard one of Sasha's ghosts in her mind and confused that voice with the vampire smell.

Edward had yet been able to hear any ghost's mind. It was almost like seeing a movie for Edward, just hearing the words that came from their mouths.

In the most recent conversation, Carlisle was speaking of moving the family again. Manhattan was starting to close in on Emmett, who still refused to get a job.

"Maybe we'll return to somewhere we have been before." Edward responded with a half-hearted hum.

"Son, I think we need to give the whole situation space." Carlisle was trying to get an impression about Edward's feelings for the girl by suggesting the abandonment.

"She's having a fitful dream. I will get back to you, Dad." Edward lied easily. He only used the informal slang when he wanted Carlisle to know he was onto his father's ulterior motives.

Edward knew ultimately Carlisle's intent was not only to get answers, but also make Edward think about Sasha.

As if he could think of anything else. He lived in her mind for a week. Edward had an excellent picture of who she was.

Thoughts are an almost perfect indicator of a person's soul. After decades of hearing minds, Edward had a rather despairing view of humanity. So many banal smiles are hiding ambivalent wishes.

But now, Edward found himself diving into Sasha's mind like it was a healing pool. Seeing the world with her upbeat thoughts as a commentary was addicting for him. He let her thoughts sooth him. Her pretty face had nothing on her gratifying mind.

It was long past time for him to feed. On Friday, when Sasha was safe in school with her children, Edward decided to go hunting in nearby Carmel, NY. Just a quick hunt, and back. He could not wander around the city hungry.

It was finally sunny when Emmett pulled Edward's brick red Ferrari Enzo into the parking garage located underneath Sasha's building. The dark tint on the windows was illegal, but necessary. Neither vampire could be seen dazzling in the sunlight, and fitting in meant staying hidden from the sun. Edward wanted to drive, but was not up for the wrestling match Emmett would surely turn it into.

"Jasper and Alice will drop by and watch Sasha from their car after class today. So, it should be all good. Dude, sit back and relax." Edward tried to take Emmett's suggestion but felt uneasy about the day.

"No vampire can come out in sunlight anyway." Emmett shrugged as he cranked Nine Inch Nails on the throbbing sound system. They pulled up to the tollbooth leading to open road and smiled at each other. Edward inched his passenger window down and whipped a quarter over the top of the car. They bumped fists as the quarter registered and lifted the toll bar.

Edward tried to throw his concerns away like the quarter. What Emmett said was true, vampires did not venture into the sunlight. It was forbidden by the Volturi.

Of course the sunlight didn't stop a vampire like a cage.

"Floor it, Emmett. Let's get this over with." Edward's jaw tensed with the thought of Sasha unprotected.

Emmett slid a pair of dark Ray Ban sunglasses on and complied with Edward's wish. The squeal of the thick racing tires exactly replicated a woman's scream.


	10. Hide baby hide

"Calvin? Calvin?" I couldn't find him. Not finding a child when you are looking for them sets your bowels on fire.

"Melva, do a count, where is Calvin?" the teacher's aide quickly counted all the children on the playground. "I count seven." There was an edge of panic to the aide's voice.

I grabbed the walkie-talkie off my hip.

"We have a code red on the playground, Calvin Jennings is not accounted for." I kept my voice calm, even though my heart had seemed to stop in my chest.

The two other teachers lined their children up, and Melva lined my classroom up, as best they could. I began searching the small outdoor play yard. Calvin had pulled this before, he happened to be a child with autism that had a tendency to run. The school was very aware of the situation in my classroom, and had in the last year upgraded the fence to a six-foot monster. The kids could not get out on their own.

Calvin was drawn to shiny things and sand, so I started looking under the climbing apparatus where there was a sandbox. The play yard was emptied and I was now looking for Calvin by myself. The walkie squawked to life "Hang in there Miss Duncan, I am on my way" The voice of the school vice principal was reassuring.

I started to look in the fence for holes, but found none. I saw the flash of light outside the fence. Standing under a large oak tree was my Calvin, a silver pinwheel twirling in the wind had enraptured him.

Holding the pinwheel was a smiling man. He was smiling right at me, not looking at Calvin at all.

He was waiting, for something.

I knew it was me.

All my impulses lead to Calvin. I tossed aside the walkie and took a running leap at the fence. I climbed up, threw one leg over the fence and then I jumped down. When I turned around, I expected to be running. I figured the man to be a kidnapper, ready to bolt into the crowded city with one of my kids.

He was still standing and smiling, but had added to the bizarreness by giggling. Giggling like he was winning a wonderful game.

I walked towards him. He held the spinning pinwheel out to me like a flower, "Hello pretty lady, are you looking for something?"

I assessed him. I saw no weapons. He was wearing dirty low slung jeans and a leather jacket. He had no shirt on, an obvious tribute to his ridiculously ripped chest. I looked in his eyes to try and judge his intent.

His eye color was blood red.

Dear God, what could be wrong with him.

I realized that the whole incident made no sense. How did Calvin end up on the wrong side of the fence? It just was not possible. He had been playing on the swing just minutes before he was missing. This man must be on some crazy drugs.

I was close enough to touch Calvin, so I put my hands on his shoulders. Instinctually, I knew I shouldn't turn my back on this man in front of me. Calvin was enraptured, the pinwheel was over stimulating every piece of his 5-year-old body and brain.

"I am looking for this boy, thank you so much for keeping him safe." I said the words, but knew in my heart Calvin was not protected by the man in front of me.

The man smiled even broader and held his arms out to his sides, he crossed his legs at the ankles, an outlandish recreation of the crucifix pose.

He was alarmingly beautiful. Where the sun peeked through the leaves, hitting his skin, it sparkled.

I stepped in front of Calvin, it was the least I could do.

The man went from Jesus on the Cross to a lover holding my face.

I sucked in as my heart stopped from fear. I was holding Calvin's hand making sure he did not run into traffic.

The man's hands were like putting bare ice on my skin.

"Don't pass out, please." His voice was as soft as kittens' fur.

His nearness started my body involuntarily shaking. His hands seemed so hard, but they were gentle as he started moving them down to my neck.

He encircled my throat like a necklace.

_He wants to kill me. _The tears of fear dropped from my eyes. I let go of Calvin's hand and felt him run.

_Oh God, Calvin be safe. _Letting go of that little boy's hand felt like giving up, but I needed to give him a chance to hide.

_Hide, baby, hide like it is all that matters._

The man holding me, made a little "oh" of surprise when he saw my tears.

He rubbed his cheek against mine, and proceeded to lick one of the tears off my face with a freezing tongue.

"God, I love the crying and the shaking," He kissed my lips like I was a cherished gift.

"I want to drink you alive." He whispered it into my ear like a sacred marriage vow.

I called on my talent then, right there under the shade of that tree by my workplace.

I knew that he was deadly. The evil crawled off of the essence of him. I never remember trying to grab a certain spirit before. The adrenaline from my fear made the way to the spirit world sift and quick. I felt powerful as I watched the spirits rise around him.

Sickeningly, there were mostly woman, younger then me and some children. I counted quickly. Ten had come to my call, beautiful vibrant spirits cut down in their prime.

"I am surprised you picked Calvin, you tend to like young girls." I said it with as much nonchalance as I could muster through the tears.

He readjusted his body in a blur. Now, he was folding his arms in front of me.

The spirits were beginning to whisper things about him to me. I tried to scare him with their information.

"Rick, you are breaking some rules here today." I watched the second of surprise before the smile was back.

"Well, well, the pretty lady has a surprise inside. Just like a tootsie pop. I wonder how many bones I have to break to get to the center." He stepped near again and grabbed me around the waist. It was like being held by a statue.

"They can't protect you, I will add you to my collection." I flinched as his breath touched my neck.

And then, Rick the evil wonder was gone. In less time then it takes to blink, it was as if he had never been there at all.

Where he had been standing was vacant, the discarded pinwheel lying lifeless on its side.

I could see the grass smooshed where Rick's feet had been. The blades were broken and torn.


	11. Don't say yes when you mean no

When Edward and Emmett were done feeding, Edward claimed the keys to his sleek car. He tested the endurance of the huge motor. Edward squealed into the parking lot of Sasha's building.

Alice and Jasper were waiting for them.

Alice started by apologizing, "Edward, I am so sorry, who would be crazy enough to kidnap a child in broad daylight?" At the same time Alice was picturing the vision that had cut her class at F.I.T short.

He could see Sasha being embraced by a glittering vampire under an oak tree. Sasha was holding little Calvin by the hand, and then letting go of that hand.

Edward could not hear Sasha's words, but he saw the picture of the scene in Alice's mind.

Sasha was shaking with tear stained cheeks as she calmly told the vampire something that seemed to stun him.

Edward bolted past his sister and brothers and flew up the stairs, taking one flight at a time until he was in front of Sasha's actual apartment.

Edward hesitated at the door and opened his mind.

Sasha was in her living room, alive and well. She was reliving the experience in as much detail as she could remember.

She touched her lips where she still felt Rick's lips when he had dared to kiss her. A shiver of revulsion went down her spine.

Edward shook his head slowly as two feelings emerged at her memory. First was jealousy. He did not want to see Sasha kissing anyone. Edward pushed himself away from the door. Did he have a crush on the woman who saw ghosts?

Second, was the overwhelming wish to go into that apartment and stand by her side, keep her safe from the vampire that had held her so dearly while she was frightened.

Edward dragged his unwilling feet to the apartment above Sasha's.

He crouched and placed his hand on the floor. It was directly above Sasha's head.

She was quite miserable.

By the time the vice principal had made it to the playground, Rick was gone. Sasha was alone and shaking.

"Sasha? Have you found Calvin?" The v.p's voice snapped Sasha back into work mode. She scoured the nearby area, and Calvin had answered her prayers and was very hard for the humans to find. The police were called, when finally, Calvin was discovered behind a shiny, silver garbage can.

Sasha did not tell the authorities about the kidnapper. She honestly didn't think they would believe what she had to say. She had trouble believing it herself. She had grasped the pinwheel and held onto to it throughout the search for Calvin. She still held it now.

Did she imagine Rick? It all felt so real. But what if it was a trick of her mind? No one could move that fast. Feel that hard and cold.

The rest of her afternoon had held a plethora of indignities. The police questioned her, and Sasha had nothing to offer.

"Calvin was on the other side of the fence, and I climbed it to get to him." Sasha was an awful liar, and the police began to get suspicious.

Long after the children had left, Sasha's boss gently mentioned that Sasha was on administrative leave until the matter was sorted out.

Sasha had amassed a pile of plans for the kids and had left the school building at 7:00pm.

The phone ringing startled Edward and Sasha. "Hello?"

"Hello gorgeous, are we still on for our date tonight?" The boisterous male voice on the phone was matched with a mental picture of a handsome gentleman.

"Sorry, Mark . I have had a hell of a day, I totally forgot." Sasha assessed her appearance in the mirror. She felt tired and scared and looked it.

"Come on, You can't bail out now, I have the whole night lined up. Remember? I have put a lot of work into planning it." Against her better judgment, Sasha agreed to go.

"Great, you are going to love the piano player down at Phillion's ," war won, Mark was hanging up as he added "Dress to kill." And the line clicked.

Sasha immediately pictured Rick again. _I know just what the guy that wants to kill me was wearing._

Edward left her mind while she readied herself for another man.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that Sasha had not given Mark a passing thought this week.

Edward had backed out of his pianist job at Phillion's all this week. He was damn sure he would be there tonight.

He dialed Emmett on his cell phone. "Emmett, I have to go to work tonight, could you and Rosalie watch Sasha until she gets to my club?" Emmett opened the door to the apartment Edward was standing in as an answer.

"I was still downstairs, bro. Rosalie said, and I quote "There is no way in hell I am going to watch Edward play with the food." So it is just me, that ok?"

Edward touched his fist to Emmett's as he walked out the door.

Sasha had no idea when she answered her apartment door to Mark; there was a hulking, obscenely strong vampire shadowing her every move.

Rick's eyes took in the whole scene from a top the building next door to Sasha's. He sniffed his palm as he watched Sasha climb into a cab with her date. It smelled just like her skin still. Cinnamon and heaven. He was going to enjoy this so much.

Edward was already playing a watered down version of a Billy Joel song when Sasha arrive with Mark. Sasha had on a simple black dress with matching black heels. Her hair and make up showed effort, but there was no light behind her eyes. Her thoughts were far from the scene in from of her.

_I can't believe I let Mark talk me into this tonight. Why can't I just say no to people? _

Edward concentrated on making a few quick mistakes. Perfection might arouse the suspicions of the customers at the piano bar.

Mark's thoughts were far from gentlemanly as he watched Sasha take her seat.

Edward began playing the piano keys a little too loud, and the change drew Sasha's eyes to his piano.

After having lived in her mind for a week, it was a distinct pleasure to have her see him.

She moved her mouth in time with her thoughts, "Hot dog man!" She covered her mouth and let out a delighted giggle. Edward found himself wishing she would let him see her smile. As if she could read his mind, for a change, she dropped her hand and gave him an eye and nose-wrinkling smile.

Edward mouthed back, "Hi", and when he heard Mark's suspicions as Mark watched the whole interaction, he added a cheeky wink.

Sasha was oblivious to her date's displeasure as she flagged down a waiter. Edward tried not to smile as her heard Sasha convincing the waiter to cook a hot dog from their lunch menu and have it delivered to the piano.

Mark ordered two red wines from the same waiter and positioned himself between Sasha and Edward's field of vision.

_Time for the third date talk. _Sasha seemed to dread the prospect. Edward saw from her thoughts that Sasha always told a man on their third date about her "disability". She was planning on telling Mark she could see ghosts.

Edward had to force himself to stay seated. Mark's impression of Sasha was superficial at best. He was some sort of ridiculous entrepreneur, selling used jeans to Japan.

Mark liked Sasha's potential as a trophy girlfriend. He liked how long her legs were and how other men in the room turned to watch her leave a room.

Telling Mark something as unique as speaking to ghosts would be a colossal flop.

Edward launched into a mournful lullaby, his only way of telling Sasha her plan was doomed.


	12. Five glasses of wine with Edward

_I will wait until after the second glass of wine. _Hot dog piano man started playing an achingly beautiful song. It was like he knew I was about to deliver the one two punch to dear old Mark.

Maybe this was the night to stray from tradition, and let Mark have a fourth date before dropping the bomb. Maybe, I should just stop dating him altogether. His talk of old jeans was getting on my nerves. He was launching into another monologue about how rich he was about to become. Mark spent most of his time talking about selling used jeans by bulk to Japan.

He was planning on hiring a few assistants to help him "score merchandise". Of course, Mark left out the part that scoring merchandise meant going into thrift shops and taking a good whiff of the ass end of their denim stock.

A third glass of wine was poured, as I watched Mark's hand gestures become more animated with every sip of his own wine.

I started to picture Mark as a dog, walking around the piano bar on all fours sniffing the seats of people's pants.

The giggles hit me hard. Between the day I'd had, the wine, and the fact that hot dog piano man had launched into a rousing rendition of "Who let the dogs out?" I was out and out snorting.

Mark looked very displeased and a little embarrassed.

I decided to pull the trigger.

"Mark, this is our last date. You are a pompous ass."

I couldn't get the laughing to stop. I gave up when I saw Mark's face go red and livid. I put my head down on the table and laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

When I finally picked my head up, and wiped the tears the laughter had brought from my eyes, Mark and his jacket were long gone.

I could see hot dog piano man from where I sat. I raised my glass in a toast to him, and finished my third glass of wine.

I was getting up to leave, when the piano playing stopped and the canned music filled the bar. As I stood up, I was toe to toe with the musician of the evening. His golden eyes were filled with delight, as his handsome face broke into a smile.

"Thank you for the hot dog." His voice was so elegant and pleasing, it made me wish he were a singer instead of a piano player.

"Thanks for the well timed song." I went to reach for my jacket.

"Your date didn't go well?" He raised an eyebrow with his question.

"Well, I," the giggles got me again, and I had to sit down to finish them. Hot dog piano man sat down across from me. He started to laugh with me, as I dissolved into snorts and tears again.

"I," deep breath, "am so sorry, it's just, the jeans, the sniffing, the dogs." His laugher was throaty and inviting.

Finally, after a few more bursts, I tried to regain my composure. When I was able to talk, I asked the beautiful man, "Is my mascara all over my face like The Joker?"

"Kind of," hot piano man (just dropping the dog altogether) leaned over and wiped just under my eye.

His finger was freezing. _Like Rick's_.

He immediately pulled his hand away, and made a show of rubbing his hands together. "My hands get so cold up there playing." He motioned towards the piano.

His eyes looked so warm, I felt I had nothing to fear.

"Can I get you another glass of wine?" He offered. Three was my absolute limit in an evening.

"Why? Your dog didn't drink my wine." When his smile reached his eyes, it made my heart flutter.

"Ok, I think that would be perfect." _I could always have a few more sips, to be polite_.

"My name is Edward, by the way." _Edward_. It fit him perfectly.

"Sasha Duncan, nice to meet you."

The evening was far from the flop I had expected when I gave Mark the heave-ho.

The wine that was delivered to the table happened to be my favorite, a sweet red that tasted more like grape juice than alcohol.

I sat at my table with a full view of the well-lit piano. Edward's playing seemed to get more intricate and beautiful as the night progressed. He was insanely graceful. He seemed to get lost in the music at times, and at others he looked right into my eyes for long moments, where I had to remind myself to blink.

When I finally looked at my cell phone clock, I noticed the time had literally flown by. The bar had emptied out and the staff was cleaning up around me.

I stood up and checked my wobble factor. Edward was playing a simple tune that seemed to come straight from his heart. I kicked off my heels to help me stand straight.

I managed to walk the steps of the stage and put my elbows on the piano. I could feel the vibration as the song came to its touching conclusion. I clapped and whistled like I was in a crowd at a football game.

Edward commenced elaborate bowing.

We were smiling at each other, when his face filled with horror and concern. He whipped his head towards the window that faced the street.

I watched him, trying to decide what would cause such a reaction.

In a moment, Edward was next to me. He had moved almost too fast. Again, I was picturing Rick blurring around me like a hummingbird on crack.

_It must be all the wine. I had five glasses. Maybe more._ Walking around flat-footed made me realize how tall Edward was.

"Can I make sure you get home being that your escort has left you on your lonesome?" He sounded so formal.

"Please, I would like that." I didn't add that I was scared to step into the dark tonight. My neck still felt cold where Rick had touched it.

I saw lines of tension on Edward's mouth.

"It's ok, really, you must have plans. It's late, you don't need to be traipsing all around the city with a girl you just met." I was going to have to suck it up and act like a grown woman.

"My father raised a gentlemen and I would be pleased to see you home." He was holding my jacket for me. I felt a little silly being put into my own jacket, like I was a kid in my class. Edward put on his own black pea coat and matching backwards-black newsboy cap.

Thinking of my class set off a pang of anger and regret. _Don't think about it now, wait until tomorrow. I can sit down with Jean and tell her everything._ The thought of unloading on my sister felt right.

Edward unearthed my heels from under my table and sank to one knee. "May I, Cinderella?"

_I guess it was sensible to wear shoes outdoors._ I was at a loss of how I would balance on one foot. I reached out and leaned one hand on his hat-covered head.

"Real graceful," Edward's body shook gently with laughter.

He slid both my heels on my feet with exquisite care, and got up very slowly. By the time he stood to his full height, his face had my full attention.

His breath smelled like caramel and magic. He had the audacity to lick his lips right then, and I almost fell over.

He held my elbow, "Are you sure those heels aren't asking too much of you right about now?" His voice was teasing, but his eyes were serious.

"I'll manage, Prince Charming." I was trying to be sarcastic, but it came out all dreamy. _Damn his delicious breath_. He held the door open for me, of course.

Edward hailed a cab successfully, which I thought was pretty spectacular at this hour.

He seemed relaxed as I gave my address to the cabbie. The wine had stolen my good sense, and I watched Edward's face with wild abandon. Every time a streetlight illuminated his skin, I felt lucky he was here with me.

_Whoa, Sasha. No getting gaga over a guy. You know how the third date turns out._

I remembered time after time, being let down by a man after I revealed that I wasn't alone in my own mind.

_"Crazy. Psycho. Too much TV."_ Were all words that were flung at me before various doors slammed, sealing me from any potential Romeo.

The wine let me take another peek at him.

Edward was peeking at me at the same instant.

His eyes held tremendous understanding. I found myself smiling at him; he was a pleasure to be with.

The cab pulled in front of my building. As I went into my purse to pay for the cab, Edward shook his head and handed the man a hundred dollar bill.

"You tip well for a starving musician." Edward got out of the cab with me.

"I rarely starve." He herded me towards the door without actually touching me.

He bid me goodbye at the security desk, "Will you be able to make it upstairs?"

"I'm good. Thank you for preventing this night from flushing itself down the toilet." I don't kiss on the first date, but his lips looked like they might taste sinful.

"Good night." He nodded towards the elevator.

"Ok, good night, then." I was securely in the elevator when I realized with disappointment, Edward had not asked me for my phone number.

I checked my cell phone. Jean had left a voice mail. I listened as I unlocked my apartment. Frank and Jean were headed upstate, to Rhinebeck to a cute little bed and breakfast. She would be gone until Sunday afternoon. I felt my mouth pout. I was really looking forward to Jean's advice.

I started my bedtime routine. Right around this time at night, especially with wine in me, I was likely to get ghostly visitors.

Pudge was waiting for a quick walk. I took her down the elevator and stepped out the smoker's door for her to do her business. I looked up from the alley towards the sky. I wish you could see the stars in the city.

_I wonder if Edward is as wonderful minus the wine._

I thought I heard a low chuckle from the dark. I quickly pulled Pudge back in and secured the door.


	13. Off the Rhinebeck

Edward watched Sasha peek out the smoker's door with her cocker spaniel.

_I wish you could see the stars in the city,_ she thought as she looked up to the sky.

Her vulnerable throat was exposed as she made her wish.

He had heard the other vampire tonight. After watching Sasha's mind replay the scene from the afternoon over and over again, Edward was able to identify the voice. Mind voices and verbal voices match exactly, for the most part.

_I will drink her alive_.

The thought had originated from the window outside of Phillion's. Maddeningly, Edward did not pick up any more thoughts, and he had not wanted to spook Sasha anymore than he already had. He made mistakes this evening. Moving too fast and touching her with his freezing finger were the two most obvious. Luckily, her brain was fuzzy with wine.

His other mistakes were more dangerous. He let himself feel joy as she watched him play piano. He felt his heart soar when she thought his name. She knew of him now.

None of this was going to end well, but mostly, Edward was fighting a losing battle of falling for the girl.

_I wonder if Edward is as wonderful minus the wine. _Edward found himself shocked into a surprised chuckle as he watched her walk her dog. He listened to her slight mental panic, as he kicked himself for making yet another mistake.

Sasha closed the smoker's door properly, so Edward simply scaled the building and climbed in the cruising couple's apartment window.

His family was already present and accounted for.

Edward heard their thoughts from outside, so he was not surprised to see Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie.

"The gang's all here. What's wrong?" Edward was sent five mental pictures of Alice collapsing. He immediately focused his gaze on the shorthaired little pixie. She willingly allowed him to see her vision. The rouge vampire was planning on killing Frank and Jean in Rhinebeck. He wanted to start hurting Sasha from the inside out.

The murderer's plan was to take place early this morning. Rick would simply crash through the window at the bed and breakfast that held Jean and Frank, and commit his heinous act. It seemed Rick wanted it to be obvious to Sasha that something evil had touched her sister, so there would be much carnage. Edward flinched when he saw the extent of evil Rick had planned.

"Alice, how sure are you about Rick's decision?" Edward had learned that Alice's gut reaction to her visions was something a person could count on.

"Edward, that is where he is going, what he is doing. I am 100% certain." Alice delivered the news with a gentle touch to Edward's shoulder.

The Cullen's plan was hashed together quickly. Alice's sight into the future and Edward's ability to read minds were necessary, so they had to go to Rhinebeck. Carlisle would be a first responder of sorts for the humans, in case they were injured. Jasper's calming influence was a given. He was like walking morphine and could always be utilized. Emmett's outstanding strength was a bonus. Esme refused to stay behind, wanting to be where her family was, in case they needed her.

Rosalie was nominated to stay behind and monitor Sasha.

She seemed reluctant and put out. The family agreed that her spectacular beauty would be best utilized in the cruise couple's apartment.

_Babysitting the freaky human. _Rosalie's thought earned her a very dirty look from Edward. _Edward's new pet is the least of my concerns._

"Rosalie, can you handle this?" Edward faced his narcissistic sister.

"Yeah." Her enthusiasm was lackluster.

"Edward, we have got to get moving, we need to be in place when he arrives." Edward nodded at Alice's warning.

The Cullens were well equipped for a fight. A girl could not hope for more careful protectors. They were off to Rhinebeck in their various expensive cars before Sasha's elevator even touched the correct floor after walking Pudge.

Rosalie was on the street headed back to the family penthouse before Sasha put the key in the lock of her door. Edward's sister made a split second decision to head home and resume watching the **Baby Story Marathon** on the Lifetime channel. Alice was always right. Sasha would be fine. Rosalie felt no need to waste her time in an empty apartment.

Not a single friendly vampire was any where near Sasha when she walked out on her balcony to try, one more time, to see the stars out of habit.

Rick could see her from his vantage point under the awning of the building across the street. Fifteen floors up was just a quick climb. He took a second to watch her. He liked the clicking noise her heels made on the metal floor of the balcony.

Back in his human form, before his own stepfather changed him into a vampire, Rick was considered weak. The official diagnosis was multiple personality. His family's diagnosis was 'crazy' on a good day.

Now, he was free. This indestructible body was his ticket to unleash his every whim. He still shared his mind with a few other personalities. The good news was the longer he was a vampire, the less time Rick had to stay in the background and watch his other personalities run the show. He had watched 'Tom' plan the demise of Sasha's sister. _What a weakling._ Rick despised Tom, mostly because he became fixated on Rick's kills.

But Rick was in charge now, and Sasha was all his. Rick launched himself at the building and began his climb. Rick didn't have a plan. He lived for specific moments. Like right now, when Sasha's eyes found him, as he pulled his body closer to hers.

The look of horror on her face was more chillingly beautiful to Rick then a Monet or a Rembrandt.


	14. Drink You Alive

_No stars. Duh Sasha._

I don't know what compelled me to do it. But I looked down the building towards the road.

And then.

And then.

_God, what was that!_ The nemesis I had almost convinced myself only existed in my mind, was headed up my building like a blurry, fast spider. Before my brain could translate my horror into a scream, Rick was on me. The door to the balcony was shut with his hand securing it that way. His other hand held my throat.

Confusion and disbelief wracked my nervous system, but the most visceral reaction I had was_ fight_.

I started to kick his shin and poke him in the eye simultaneously. His eyelid shut immediately and my useless, jabbing finger felt like it was poking a piece of metal.

"That's right baby, fight me. Make me earn it." His voice was calm and buttery. He was enjoying this. "I wonder why you're so important to them."

He must have seen the recognition in my eyes.

_My ghosts_. That would be the only thing that made me important to whomever "they" were.

"You _know_. Tell me. Right now." He was giddy with anticipation, still all the while, holding my throat. His demonic eyes sparkled with interest.

_He is so beautiful. How could something innately gorgeous radiate such death?_

"Playing hard to get? How 'bout this, you tell me and I don't kill every single person in this building behind you." His smile was so wide it made his teeth look huge.

I knew he could do it. I may be going crazy, but a red-eyed kidnapper was not the kind gift your neighbors appreciated.

"And your little dog too." He gave me an elaborate pout. Pudge was barking at the balcony door furiously. Her little fuzzy paws were lifting off the ground in anger. I motioned to my throat and my silent mouth. He understood and loosened his grip.

_God forgive me, I am the worst person in the world. I want to save my dog the most._

"I'll tell you, but away from here." My voice was so scratchy and harsh.

"Fine." He snapped.

I was on his rock hard shoulder like a sack of potatoes in a blink. I watched as my cute black heels slid from my feet to clatter to the road so far below me.

We were climbing up the side of the building. _No ropes_. I knew he wasn't human. I started to sob-cry as we reached the roof of the building.

He took off running (_or was it flying?_). I felt the jolt when he launched himself across the roofs of the buildings that lined the street I lived on.

He decided on a roof and set me down.

"Talk." He no longer felt the need to hold my throat. I wanted to be braver. I had gotten him away from Pudge and my neighbors. This thing in front of me was carved from hell.

"Tell me why you have a boatload of vampires following your every move." The wind was whipping on the top of the building. I still couldn't see the stars. His words made sense in this upside down, weird Alice in Wonderland reality I was featured in. I thought of beautiful Edward's cold finger and felt a great sadness. _Was he the same as this piece of trash in front of me?_

Rick fast-forwarded himself until our noses touched. I didn't even have time to back up. He cuddled me to him like a rag doll. It was like being squeezed by a glacier. It felt like my lungs didn't have enough room to fill with air.

Amazingly, when I thought my lungs would pop like balloons, he changed his grip to hold my face in his hands.

"Hey, Lennie, you keep up that kind of love and you're going to kill me. A lot." I guess I got sarcastic on the verge of death. Too bad I knew that about myself.

"Do you think I'm too stupid to get an Of Mice and Men reference?" It was bizarre to hold a conversation this close to anyone's face. The eyes, up close, were swimming with different facets of red.

"No, Rick, I think you're a pansy that has to pick on women and children." My smart mouth earned me a backhand. It was like getting hit with a tree. My whole body flew in the air and towards the ledge. I was going over. Rick snatched me out of thin air and set me down on my feet again.

"I call that my love tap, Princess. Tell me why you're being followed?" I was shocked that all my teeth remained in my head. I felt the warm wetness seeping out of my mouth.

_Blood_.

His red eyes focused on it. I watched down my nose, as he began licking the blood from the side of my mouth. He seemed to loose control as he started to kiss my blood-filled lips. I tried to bite his tongue, when he obscenely added it to his kiss, but it was just like biting a frying pan.

"Too late, I don't care why they want you. You're mine." His mouth was smeared with my blood. He took a step back to smile at me. Then he tensed, closed his eyes and took a massive breath through his nose. His eyes rolled in their sockets before he fixed them on back on me.

"We're not alone." Fury made his red eyes darker.

I turned to run. He wrapped my hair around his fist and yanked me back. I felt his vice grip across my chest as he tilted my head using my hair.

He put his ice-cold lips to my jaw and licked his way down to my neck.

I could feel the bite on my neck. The teeth were so sharp, it didn't even hurt, at first. Then the sucking began and I could feel all the blood draining from each and every vein in my body.

I could move my arms, but they were tingling. I grabbed onto his arm to keep from collapsing. He was sucking and murmuring sweet nothings. Everything in me, all at once was numb. His icy cold body felt nice, taking some of the pain from my skin. I found myself pushing back into him, trying to dig his fangs in deeper.

_If I could make it happen faster, it would be over_.

Rick pulled back just enough to whisper, "Princess, I am going to kill every member of your family. Know this before you die." I shuttered from his horrible proclamation.

"The shaking is my favorite," he snickered as he began to finish.

_Would he drink every drop of my blood?_

_Vampire. He really is a vampire. Oh God. I could feel the force of his decision so deeply. I will be ingested. My blood, my soul. Everything. Maybe I would be inside out by the time he was done. And I couldn't save one damn person that I loved._

When Rick was hit, it sounded like dynamite exploding in my ear.

I found myself cradled in a pair of cold arms. I peered through my eyelashes to see what I was facing. _Edward._

I felt so alarmed. I tried to scream, "Run", but no sound came out. My throat seemed like a gaping wound.

_No, no, run Edward. Please get away. He is evil. _I was as helpless as a newborn babe. I couldn't even offer words to help.

"He's gone, for now." Looking up at his face, I saw compassion and desolation. His gold eyes seemed to be assessing my injuries.

 The burning started at my neck. If I could crawl, I would find Rick to finish the job. _I need to get out of this body as much as possible. Now._

Being held by Edward felt like being next to a drafty window in the winter, I could feel the cold reaching out to touch me.

"I'm so sorry Sasha, I did not arrive in time. Listen to my words." His elegant voice was soothing

_Like I have a choice. _I was dying. I could not even move my lips.

"I don't need your lips for me to hear you. Sasha, I can stop the death. I can make you live, but there will be much pain. Sasha, do you want me to make you a vampire?"

_I am afraid, Edward._

"It will hurt, but the pain will come to an end."

_You can hear my thoughts?_

"Yes." He said it faintly. I closed my eyes, and tried to breathe, no air would come.

_He threatened my family. Can you keep them safe? _I desperately tried to keep from blacking out to hear his answer.

"I will protect them." Edward's vow was so earnest I had to believe him.

I could only hear, my eyes had given up their fight. _Do it. I don't want to die._

"Now, Edward! You must finish what he started." Dr. Cullen's voice in the middle of this nightmare should have been more comforting.

"Carlisle, please you do it, I don't want to be the one to turn her." Edward sounded anguished.

_No matter. Really, it was all over. There was no way to fix me now._

Then I realized that the pain Rick had inflicted on me was easy. It was like a tickle compared to the seething, hot lava that was filling my every vein.


	15. Blue eyed newborn

When I was about 10 years old, my friends and I had a ritual. My sister, Jean and my friends from the neighborhood would play tag at night. We would stay out running, jumping and living like only unsupervised children can.

After we had exhausted ourselves, we would lay on my friend Karen's ink black asphalt driveway. It had retained the heat from the blistering summer day. At night, when the chill of the darkness engulfed us, lying on that driveway kept us warm.

So like cats drawn to a warm fire, the middle of the night would always find us on our backs, looking up at the spectacular night sky. The stars were ours and the crickets sang for us. The fireflies tucked themselves into the leaves for a rest after having come out to delight us with their show.

Now, I realize the mosquitoes never bit our tender young skin. We were immortal, beautiful, laughing girls with our lives ahead of us. When we were together we had no fears, just giggles and confidence.

It did not surprise me that at the hour of my death, I found myself looking down on this scene. I never realized then, that the heat of the driveway lifted the scent of our sweet skin and fruitful blood into the sky like a sacrifice.

I watched the young Sasha as she tossed insults back and forth with the sisters of her flesh and soul. Young Sasha's murkey green eyes locked on this older version far above her. Her blood filled my nose. I lost the beauty of her innocence and she became prey. I came speeding from the sky to land on her delightfully long neck. My insanely sharp teeth slid into her skin like a knife through warm butter. As my tongue darted out to accept the blood, it was denied.

Fury ripped through me like a meteor.

I stood in a nicely appointed white room, surrounded by a small winsome audience.

My scream of frustration was silent. I clawed at my neck, but no noise came out.

I threw myself at the nearest bystander and I was bounced back to the floor for my troubles.

I could only curl into a ball, as the apocalypse started in my body. There must be fire, ants, and evil inside my skin. My veins started ripping from their rightful places inside me. They turned into barbwire and commenced forming a tornado in the center of my own personal apocalypse.

The pain was amplified as seconds passed. I endured only because no one would kill me.

If I could have begged, I would have. My throat was obviously grievously injured. The time I could account for was spent in a ball. I could no longer consciously force myself to move in any assault against my captors. The pain made me crazy. The only thought I could come up with was "No".

Finally, after what seemed to be hundred years, the tornado inside me became an F5. The finger of God pressed on my core. My heart responded to the touch by beating a million times faster than a hummingbird's wings. With the last beat, my throat healed. The scream that had built in my head erupted from my mouth.

"NOOOO!"

It was so loud it made my own ears feel like they were bleeding.

The pain extinguished like a super nova and in its place was a peaceful silence, that didn't hurt.

Hell. I must be in hell. I stayed in my ball. I wasn't breathing. I could hear everything.

"She's done." Dr. Cullen spoke from nearby. I wondered what he sin he had committed to wind up in the fiery dungeon with the Devil and I.

My eyes flew open at a gentle smirk. Could a smirk make a noise? Of course, if you could hear the change in the lips. Edward was watching.

I took in the white room that had been host to my wretchedness. It was still filled with beautiful gold-eyed people. I had obviously clawed the walls like a cat during the internal tornado, though I didn't recall moving from my ball.

As I looked around, I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Her eyes, they're blue!" I looked right at Dr. Cullen.

_I had just been turned inside out by a force of nature and he cared what color my eyes were? Did he notice I wasn't breathing?_ _What a crappy doctor._

At this Edward, started out and out smiling, which infuriated me.


	16. Laughter Equalizes

As soon as I thought about standing, I was up. I looked around the room, seeing it in High Definition. Breathing didn't seem as important. I watched as everyone but Edward left the torn up room I was in.

I reviewed my last waking moments, and gingerly felt my throat. I found only silken perfection, instead of the gapping wound that should be there.

The room held a wooden chair and a mirror, that miraculously survived the failing of my fists during my healing. I could see it was really a suite, with a living room attached to what must have been a bedroom.

I could piece it together. If I pretended I was stark raving mad and all the stupid fairy tales I'd heard as a child were true.

Then I was a vampire now, because I wasn't dead. And a vampire was standing in front of me. It is amazing what I couldn't see before, with normal eyes. How could I have missed the gentle sparkle to Edward's skin? I had looked right past the amazing splashes of yellow, gold and amber that made up his eyes

I knew from my thirst that I wanted something. I have never craved red sludge with an iron aftertaste, but now I did. I wanted it more then anything.

Maybe this had to be a dream. I punched myself in the face. It was like trying to stop a train with my nose. I heard the sickening crunch of my cheekbones, and anything else that was important to my facial structure. I stood up and could see the reflection of me in the mirror. My hair looked great. My face, on the other hand looked like a human pug dog.

Great. Not only is this not a dream, but also I managed to make myself the ugliest vampire in the world with minutes of coming to my senses.

As I watched, the face before me uncrumpled,. I could feel the bones knitting back together like a sponge regaining it's shape after being squeezed.

Soon, I was staring at my unsmooshed face again. Not my face really, but the face you picture just before you look in the mirror. No freckles, pimples or weird sloops. The perfect version of my face.

I wanted to eat. I wanted to run through the walls of this place all Fred Flintstone, leaving me-shaped holes in my wake.

I looked at the wooden chair to my left. As soon as I thought about it, my body reacted. I was holding a jagged piece of the chair. I grabbed it with both of my hands.

I knew what I was. I wanted blood. Right away, I could feel the changes to my cells, my moral compass. I would make excuses for the dead bodies.

I knew I would never stop. Ever. I would kill.

I grabbed my make shift stake and jammed it into my chest.

I waited. It was uncomfortable. I could tolerate it, but I sure didn't like it.

"Well that won't work" Edward said in an amused and slightly condescending tone. "Forget silver, crosses, garlic too."

_From the dying night, I remembered it seemed like could hear my thoughts. I wonder if he could still_.

"Yes, I can." _He immediately responded in a totally emo put upon way._

"I am not Emo"

He strode up to me purposefully.

I did not know what his intention was.

_Kiss! _I thought in a panic.

_What does my breath smell like after being dead? I bet my armpits smell like skunk. _

He started laughing. I noticed, belatedly, that he had pulled the stake out of my chest.

"You have an amusing head" He lifted one corner of his mouth in a half smile.

"Kiss my ass." I grabbed my throat, shocked. I recalled this feeling, when you suck on a helium balloon, and your voice gets all chipmunky.

But instead of chipmunk I was rocking sultry, scratchy woman voice.

He stopped laughing and looked searchingly into my eyes.

"Your change is different. I don't think your throat completely healed"

He stepped closer again.

"Relax, your breath is fine. And I don't plan on sniffing your underarms."

He rolled a set of amber golden eyes towards the ceiling.

"Would you mind very much if I touched your neck?"

I nodded my consent and moved my hands.

_What could he possibly do? Kill me?_

His hands rested on my neck while his thumbs caressed the front of my throat. The shiver went down my spine

"Sorry, that might be a sensitive part for you for a while, considering how you went."

_You mean how I was killed_. I thought in his direction.

"Rick sent me mixed messages; he was definite on one course of action. Then, he did the exact opposite. I am so sorry"

He continued, "Listen, If I am reading your thoughts right, you are clinging to the last vestiges of reason you had as a human."

I almost laughed_. He sounded so clinical._

"Well, I do have a few medical degrees." He was trying to keep this exchange light on purpose.

_For humans or monsters? _

Before he could answer, my emotions got the best of me. Like the crack of a whip, the word "monster" on my psyche filled my body with shame and anger. I did not want this.

My thoughts were beginning to change into blocks of colors filled with needs. The blocks shuffled in front of my eyes like a view master toy. It settled on red.

_Red. Feed. Red_.

"You are very strong right now, all newborn vampires are. And you want to eat, I understand. My family and I, we only drink the blood of animals. Not humans."

I could feel my good sense leaving. I pictured myself as a shark, teeth lunging out and my eyes sealing shut.

"Sasha, if you leave this room, that feeling, that shark-like feeling, will make you kill people. Sasha?"

I focused again on his face, but I could feel myself slipping into an abyss of need.

"Sasha, if you leave this suite, you will kill children, too." Edward was waiting to see if his dire words had sunk in.

They had. I nodded just as Emmett wrestled a bucking deer into the room.

I tracked the deer with every heightened sense I had. Before it could leap over the living room couch, I was on its back. For a spilt second, it was like I was riding the deer. We tumbled together on the antique oriental rug. I scrambled to get near its neck. In a last bid to save its life, it began failing its hoofs. I took at least two good cracks in the face, before I was able to latch onto its chest with my teeth. I drained the warm blood so fast and so furiously; I had almost my whole head in its body. When there was nothing left to its corpse, I pulled my head out. Just like a tick, bloated on another living thing.

I looked around the suite living room. A good portion was destroyed. It looked like a couple of football teams had run through with sledgehammers.

I felt sated, but I was still hungering for human blood.

I looked at the two vampires. We all waited. For something.

Maybe an explanation, maybe comfort for my first kill.

What I didn't expect was the laughing. The silence was broken by a snort filled, knee slapping, hilarious laughter.

"You..and then.. the deer..and the hooves..and the mess" Emmett was trying to talk, but gave into the peels of cackles.

Edward tried to look stoic, but he gave in, laughing eventually too.

I stomped out of the living room slammed the door to the bedroom that was "mine".

As the door flew off it's hinges and embedded itself into the wall, the living room laughing reached a fever pitch. As I stood in my now doorless room, I couldn't help but notice that the men sounded exactly human. Laughter was the great equalizer.

Amiss all stunned senses, I found myself laughing too.


	17. Frozen Sunshine

Jasper repaired my door. I needed a barrier between the world, and me, even if it was as useless as roller skates on ice.

I was a feral vampire for the first month. I was crazy, wild and sane all at the same time. Emmett, the big dummy that laughed at my first feeding, seemed burdened with the task of feeding me. He spent time driving a huge Jeep back and forth to the suburbs. On the way up it was empty. On the way back, the Jeep was full of fur and hooves. The deer were always limp from a sleeper hold that Emmett had perfected.

A shot of adrenaline brought the doomed animal to consciousness, just in time to run away from me.

Jasper, the apparent 'newborn vampire specialist', always watched my kills as if evaluating an Olympic hopeful trying to master a dive into a pool.

A big ol' pool of blood.

I spent my time in the suite, alternately wrecking the place like a drunken rock star, and cleaning up after myself remorsefully.

The sweet, motherly vampire, Esme, tried slipping some books to me, to entertain this new baggy brain of mine. It would start out fine until the book caused me to feel an emotion, then I would rip the book to shreds like a Tasmanian devil. I begged Esme to save her books from the torment at my hands.

Edward never showed his face. I tried not to care and every time I forced indifference on this tricky head, I would find myself embedded in the ceiling using my hands like cat claws.

Emmett found me dangling from the ceiling, when he hefted my snack in the door one evening. He shook his head and snickered,

"Hey Spiderwoman, dinner is served." He lumped the fuzzy brown animal on the floor and was flicking the injection needle with his finger.

"Wait. Emmett, that is a freaking lion," I was down from the ceiling and standing next to him.

His singsong, "Lions and Bears and Tigers, Oh my" was my only answer.

Emmett squeezed the needle until a clear fluid popped out of the top.

I put my hand on his, "Dude, where did you get the freaking lion?"

"The zoo," He rolled his amber eyes, "It's not like we're in the God damn outback."

"Put it back," I took a few steps back and embedded my hands in the wall.

I heard an exasperated sigh, "Do you know how hard it is to sneak in the zoo, subdue a lion and drag it the hell out? I thought this would be a nice treat for you." Now, I think he was getting a little pissed.

"I appreciate that, really Emmett, I do. But for one, I don't think it was that flipping hard for you to steal it. And for two," I paused. Human emotion flickered through me.

"My kids have a field trip to visit the zoo at the end of the school year."

Emmett took his baseball cap and ruffled his hair in frustration, "Fine." He lifted the huge, beautiful animal easily on his shoulder. "I will put it freaking back in its God damn cage."

It had been exactly 2,629,743.83 seconds since I had woken up to my own scream.

One whole month.

Jasper stood in my room with his eyes sparkling, "You, my friend, are ready to join us in the penthouse."

"What?" I looked at the door that Emmett had left open. It separated me from the classy vampires on the other side.

He held his open palm towards the door. I guess all the watching he did really did have a purpose, "You have done a magnificent job keeping yourself in this suite."

I had spent an excruciating amount of time reliving Edward's words: _"Sasha, if you leave this place, you will kill children, too."_ Those words kept me in my prison.

"Of course, you have to remain in the penthouse," Jasper was so debonair, he made a commend sound like an invitation.

I stepped carefully to the door. I peeked out of the doorframe like a mouse leaving its hole. Timid.

What I saw in the spacious rooms scared me. The expensive antiques, beautiful artwork and pristine, unclawed walls seemed so vulnerable to my iron-like hands.

As I passed Jasper, I felt a bolster to my confidence. A calm, relaxed feeling tingled through my body. I picked my way out and sat carefully on a white sofa, sitting on my hands. Jasper sat on the opposing love seat and began chatting about his vampire family, like this was completely normal.

According to Jasper, I would come to know and love his lady, Alice. She had visions of future events. He explained that he could affect feelings in another, and he proved it by making me giddy, calm and then giddy again.

Emmett was strong and Rosalie, his lady, was pretty. I guess they didn't have any exceptional qualities, except of course, drinking blood and living forever.

Dr. Cullen and Esme were a couple. He was a gifted doctor, and she was a mother through and through.

He covered the basics about never sleeping, (I had kind of figured that one out for myself, being that there was no bed in my room and I never got tired). I was surprised to see the sun peeking into the sky. We had exhausted the evening with Vampire 101.

Jasper had left Edward out of his commentary. I was about to ask a question regarding his apparent missing in action status, when Edward himself walked in the penthouse door.

Jasper stood from the couch, excused himself and left, nodding at Edward on the way out.

I watched as Edward took Jasper's place. His hair was falling rakishly in front of his eyes. His outfit screamed money and style. I looked down at my grubby scrubs. Dr. Cullen had provided me with an endless supply of the free-fitting cotton get ups, when it was determined I was an excessively sloppy eater. And also, the little tendency for ripping things to shreds applied to books as well as clothes.

I ran a hand through some very tangled hair. I had not thought of much other than not leaving the suite for a month.

"Emmett called to tell me you had been granted parole," his voice was more exquisite than angels humming the Ava Maria. He smiled a crooked smile, "You did great Sasha, really great." I couldn't for the life of me classify anything I did to or in the suite as great.

I began running through the things Jasper had acquainted me with about vampires in my mind.

"He forgot something," Edward pursed his lips in thought.

"Come with me, you need to know why we can't go in the sunlight," his voice was quiet, like he regretted what he was saying.

He walked to the sliding door. The door was the only flaw in the floor to ceiling windows that encased the penthouse.

"We live in a warehouse district, so no one will see us," he hesitated as I watched wide-eyed. _Was he about to burst into flames?_

He smiled and chuckled his way through the word, "No." He faced me and stepped backwards onto the balcony that seemed to circle the whole building.

A sunbeam hit him like a shower of magic. His skin glittered like a million crystals.

I held a hand to my mouth in surprise, _You look like frozen sunshine!_ I was still standing safely in the shade of building. I reached my hand out and then snatched it back.

He face was achingly sad, despite the quiet fireworks his skin was displaying for me.

_Does it hurt very much? _I thought.

"No, it feels quite nice, actually," he held his graceful hand out to me. I accepted the gentlemanly offer, as I stepped into the warmth that embraced me. My hand began the same, strange process of turning into a work of ethereal art. I looked in the reflective windows, seeing us together standing like two falling stars suspended in time.

"The Volturi forbids us from stepping into the sun around humans for the obvious reasons," he motioned to the glass that was struggling to correctly reflect the brilliance we were emanating. Edward motioned for me to join him back inside the penthouse. I felt a little reluctant. _When you could do something so beautiful, it felt like you should share it with the world. _

Edward secured the door shut and smiled in my direction, "You have been sharing beautiful things with the world for a while."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion. "The children, and of course, the ghosts," being complemented by Edward felt like a free fall drop, exhilarating and addicting.


	18. Tingly inside and out

I spun quickly as I stepped inside.

"My family, how are they?" _How had I not thought about them once?_

Edward put his hands comfortingly on my shoulders, "Your family is fine."

I took a deep breath to steady myself. Of course, it had no effect.

His eyes searched mine, "Rick is still out there, but my family and I have been keeping watch over your loved ones."

"Thank you. Thank you so very much," I said in earnest. I was heartbroken I had not given my fragile people a second thought. _How selfish could I be?_

Edward gave me a small smile, "Sasha, changing into a vampire is a shocking experience laced with pain and confusion. You have most likely been in shock while you were adjusting." He removed his hands and I found myself missing their soothing presence almost immediately, "Their safety was your last human thought and I have kept my promise."

Edward looked expectedly at the door. It opened as if he wished it to with his eyes. Emmett and a much smaller bundle filled the doorframe. His grumbling started the minute he saw me, "Feeding a freaking newborn vampire in the middle of New York. Whose God damn great idea was this?" here he threw Edward a dirty look. Emmett plopped the deer in my open room.

He looked at me with raised eyebrows and sarcastic eyes "So, pain in the ass, are you going to come over here and eat or do I have to set Bambi free too?"

He stabbed the deer with a needle. It came to life and so did I.

I launched myself over the furniture and pounced into my room. Emmett slammed the door behind me.

By the time I had drained the sacrificial deer, I was a mess again. I needed to shower for sure. I was finding myself wishing I had something a little nicer than scrubs to put on.

As if the fashion gods deposited her at my request, a golden-eyed pixie bustled in the door holding and obscene number of garments on hangers.

"Hi Sasha! I'm Alice. Edward told me you might be ready to dump this whole escaped hospital patient look."

If you could avoid smiling at Alice, you were made from the loins of the devil himself. She was like a walking daisy, filled with beauty, whimsy and delicate features. Emmett grumbled in behind her carrying three large trunks, and Edward behind him, was juggling about thirty shopping bags.

"Thank you boys, now scoot, out!" I saw they had to smile for her as well. Alice closed the door behind them.

She was rubbing her hands together like an evil genius.

"Do you mind very much if I put you through a make over?"

I eyed her clothes. She was fashion forward and very quirky.

"Don't worry, it won't be anything drastic," she was already flitting around hanging clothes up.

"It's ok by me," the last thing I wanted to do was offend someone who had been watching over my family while I hung out like a rabid raccoon in a penthouse for the last month.

Alice handed me an arm load of body and hair products.

"When was the last time you shaved your legs?" she looked intensely interested.

"Um," between the dying and all the killing I had trouble wading through my mundane human thoughts.

"That last day, I think I took care of the whole shebang," I hopped this was the right answer. _What did she want to do to my unwanted body hair?_

"Great! Vampire hair is really hard to cut, and it won't grow back. But no worries, you should be smooth," she pushed me into the bathroom in my suite. I came out a good while later smelling like a jungle of wildflowers. My hair was wet, but brushed clear of snarls and knots.

Alice had been busy during my absence. My room now looked like a carefully appointed fashion showroom, complete with feminine wallpaper covering my claw marks.

"Ok!" she was almost buzzing like a bee, "Tell me what your mood is today."

I thought while I clutched my towel, "Nervous, anxious, scared," I answered honestly.

"Well, that gives me nothing. Tell me how you felt when you saw Edward," she looked like she was ready to pounce.

"Tingly?" I hoped giving that answer would satisfy her.

She nodded once and disappeared in the closet.

Within moments, she had ripped off my towel and started demanding me to put on a complicated series of garments.

As soon as I was dressed, she started on my hair. I noticed she had a paint dryer as opposed to a hair dryer. I was shocked that it felt nice, instead of melting my scalp like a shrinky dink.

When she was finally done, she seemed triumphant.

"Ok, I didn't get you a full length mirror yet, so we will have to go into the living room for your big reveal,"

she opened the door to my suite and pushed me into the penthouse living area.

Both Edward and Emmett looked up at the sound of movement.

Their faces were my first mirror. Neither man moved. _Crap. What they hell did I look like? _Edward snapped himself out of the staring first, responding to my thought, "You look lovely." _No surprise, I bet he said that to every woman that got dressed up around him._

_I doubted he would hurt Alice's feelings by saying anything untoward._

Emmett's response gave me hope, "Alice, you cleaned that crap up. She looks slammin'."

Alice twittered happily in their direction, as she steered me to Esme's giant decorative mirror.

I smiled at my dark blonde hair, blown out with a power tool, cascading like ribbons of silk around my shoulders. Alice had found a sundress that looked exactly "tingly", with flouncy layers and a moon and stars print. She had layers of necklaces and coordinating earrings with delicate celestial renderings. My feet had strappy heels with star designs. I think I even detected glitter in the lotion on my skin, which seemed redundant considering what I learned about my skin earlier in the day.

She excelled at make-up application. It seemed almost like a work of art. She had fun with these creepy blue eyes, using brown highlighting to make them seem huge and magical.

I realized she was waiting, and by not responding, I was being rude.

"Alice, Thank you so much. I love it!" I really did. I was touched that this sweet little vampire wanted to help me. Her whole session with me made me feel more normal then I had in a month.

Emmett chuckled behind me, "Rosalie is going to hate Sasha's guts."

Alice clapped her hands and twirled in a circle, "I know. I did great, right?"

I scooped her in a gentle hug and she hugged me back. I liked her. Her soul seemed as golden as her eyes.


	19. Delectable Vampires

Emmett and Alice walked together out the door. I remembered my manners again, and thanked Emmett for the deer and for saving the lion.

His response was gruff, "Yeah, great. You're freaking welcome."

"He likes you," Edward's voice was such a perfect addition to any moment.

"Really? I find that surprising," I turned to face him.

"Well, we are all thankful that you let Alice have her way with you. It gives her great joy to be all girly," he motioned for me to sit. I found that standing still seemed like the most comfortable position.

"Why wouldn't I let her? She rocks," I swept a hand at my outfit, "I just hope she does it again tomorrow."

"Oh, she will, have no worries," His eyes got serious.

Edward proceeded to give me full disclosure. Starting with my encounter with Carlisle, his very own semi-stalking of me, and the knowledge of my ghostly conversations.

When he was done, he peeked at me from under his dark, long lashes.

"Ok." I found that a vampire brain could digest an alarming amount of information at once. I thought of his families' gold eyes and Rick's horrible scarlet-colored ones. Then, I recreated my blue ones that I had seen in the mirror during my big reveal.

He followed my train of thought, "Well, Carlisle is doing some investigating about that exact phenomenon. It turns out there has been two blue-eyed vampires in our known history."

I considered the immortality part of this bargain and figured vampire known history was probably pretty extensive.

"It is," he nodded.

_Gee whiz he was easy to have a conversation with. _

"And the two, are they still, um, with us?" _I didn't know how to put it. Dead? Not eating? Whatever._

"No. Sasha, they lived quite some time ago. It seems they were related, mother and daughter known as Aura and Cruor. They, too, were rumored to speak to ghosts. They lived in the early 1300's. When they were turned into vampires, they became extremely coveted. The vampires of the time felt that having those women in their control gave them access to the past," he waited to see if I was following along. I nodded and he continued.

"There were two major factions of vampires then, and they were very brutal. One side, known as the Custos, wanted to keep all vampires in the shadows, unknown to humans.

The second group, the Dominors, felt that vampires should use their powers to dominate humanity. Ultimately, they wanted to enslave humans and treat them like cattle, to be used as a food source only."

I shivered internally a little at this history. Warring vampires seemed like an ultimate clash of the titans. _Humanity as cattle?_ _I was glad the Custos had apparently won._

"They did win. They used a tactic quite similar to the Trojan horse. The Dominators most powerful and unlikely source were their two, blue-eyed vampires. Unlike you, each woman only had one blue eye. They had to stand together and hold hands to speak to ghosts. The Dominators used the ghosts to tell them the weakness in the Custos' vampires. They also had a healthy recruitment ploy, allowing vampires access to conversations with Aura and Cruor."

_Heaven and blood, _I thought.

"Yes, that is exactly what their names translate to from Latin. Did you take it in high school?" he paused the story to acknowledge my background.

I nodded in agreement. _I hated my Latin classes, but they did stick with me._

He continued his story, "The Custos sent a vampire who had a great appeal to the ladies, and he charmed the daughter, Cruor into running away with him. She was madly in love and desperately looking to get away from the duties her mother's hand presented."

At this point, I pictured Edward. _A vampire as delectable as he was would certainly tempt a lady to run far and wide, just for a kiss. Oops. The head reading thing._

Edward chuckled at my thoughts. If I could have blushed, I would have.

"Of course, the delectable vampire was under the influence of the Custos, and he brought the daughter straight into a trap. The Dominors were furious and now powerless. When the Custos offered to trade back the daughter for a promise of peace, the Dominors took the bait. The delectable vampire was still up to his dubious ways, offering to marry Cruor if she would just kill her own mother. The foolish, love blind girl did just that. When her mother embraced Cruor, the daughter ripped her head off. Her delectable fiancée burned the pieces, but instead of a ring and a white dress Cruor got her own head ripped off instead."

_Wow._ "Wow." That story was disturbing on so many levels.

_Are the Costos still around?_

"The delectable one's name is Aro. He is the head vampire of the Volturi. He is not so delectable anymore."

_The vampire police. Damn. This whole story doesn't bode well for me._

Edward looked pained. He knew the implications of my eyes.


	20. Mock Ripping heads off

So it began, the babysitting of the Blue-eyed vampire, or as Emmett referred to me, "The Cullen family pet".

I required one vampire at all times to make sure I was not going ballistic. The rest of the Cullens would secure the safety of my human family.

All of their lives were put on hold, except Carlisle, who kept his position at the hospital. I felt a little guilty, but I needed my family protected and I was far from being capable of entering society.

Esme's time with me was spent reinforcing vampire manners, the concept which made me laugh when she first mentioned it. She tisked me into listening.

"If we ever get separated, Sasha, you might need to know any or all of this to survive with hostile vampires," that comment scared me sober, so I listened. I was grateful for my brand new, infallible memory, I now had no need to take notes or do special mental gymnastics.

According to Esme, I was not to interfere in another vampire's feeding. I should only hunt on land that I knew was safe to do so. She told me to always act like a vampire is friendly and more seasoned then I am, even if I suspect differently.

She peppered her warnings with assurances of the skills I would acquire with time.

Esme emphasized that time was the trick to becoming a successful vampire.

After she covered vampire manners, Esme switched over to hints on being a vampire that is pretending to be a human. I now had to make reflexes that were no longer involuntary, seem as if they were just that.

We practiced pretending to eat and drink when actually, nothing was actually consumed. She thoughtfully added common physical touches I might encounter, like handshakes and hugs. We spent a whole day learning how to decline, politely, or when necessary, getting in, committing the act, and having a stock excuse for the chill of my skin.

Esme's babysitting times were upbeat and encouraging. I could see why she was considered the mother figure for the clan. She was so easy to love.

Jasper was by far the most intense babysitter. He spent much time preparing me for a battle. Although, he would quickly promise that it was all a safety precaution, I seemed to be training for the fight of my life.

He would "play attack" me from all sides and when I least expected it. I was to fight back, but only going through the motions, not actually physically harming him.

I learned that vampires attack mentally at least half the time. Brain fighting was a perplexing concept for me. Jasper was forced to explain various powers he had come across during his time training newborns to fight. As he rambled through an alarming amount of tricks, (brain shaking, seeing only mirror images, perceived electrocution), I paid closer and closer attention to his lessons. He admitted that almost all the newborns he created were meant to die soon after they were made, but his was taking extra care to try and prepare me to live a nice long life.

Alice bustled in the penthouse with bags, boxes and hangers every time she entered. With her, I had a break from all the vampire preparedness. She spent hours upon hours twirling my long hair into curls or braids. I was always appropriately matched to my adjective of the day. We had been through many including flirty, sunny, magic and grumpy. Our girly time had reached epic proportions when we were both in pajamas, pretending to sleep with teddy bears. Jasper had mentioned to me when he was mock 'pulling my head from my neck' that Alice had missed out on her girlhood, and longed for a friend to pal around with. I made an effort to be at least half as excited as she was about all our poufy, girl time.

Rosalie was, at first, the most uncomfortable. I would spend time in my room and she would huff and puff in the main part of the penthouse. The hours with her dragged on like a pap smear. After four of these uncomfortable episodes, Rosalie entered for her shift a few minutes early. I was on the couch in the penthouse watching **A Baby Story** on Lifetime. Instead of huffing, Rosalie sat on the other end of the couch. We watched wordlessly until the end of the show, when the happy couple named their new bundle of joy "Elmered". Rosalie and I both snorted in disgust. That simple noise opened a floodgate. Rosalie began questioning me about babies. Had I held any recently? What were the children in my class like? Had I ever shopped for a baby in Toys R' Us?

I answered her questions honestly. I had babysat an infant while in college, to make extra money. I was as descriptive as I could be. I launched into stories about the kids in my classrooms, stories about younger cousins, and even random babies I had seen in stores.

"I always wanted one," her enchantingly beautiful face flickered with such intense longing, I felt like an intruder just seeing it on her face.

"So, no babies for the vampire ladies, I take it," I was surprised at the sadness in my own voice. I had always seen motherhood in my future. Time seemed so flexible before and now that it was endless, the prospect of never bringing children in the world hit like a ton of bricks.

Rosalie stood and looked away. "No, not for us," we were quiet together until she left. When she tossed a quick, "See ya next time." over her shoulder, I knew something had changed for us.

Carlisle raised an inquisitive eyebrow as he heard Rosalie's friendly sounding departure. I shrugged, I hoped the frosty, huffing Rosalie was in the past.

Carlisle's part in my development was somewhat medically based. He spent ungodly amounts of time looking into my eyes with a light muttering things like, "eye muscle test,  visual acuity test,  refraction assessment." At first I tried to act interested, but gave up eventually and started day dreaming about the enchanting Edward while Carlisle poked and prodded. He was intensely interested to see what drinking human blood would do to my eyes, but agreed with Jasper that testing me with a little drop of human blood would be too risky. In between the eye prodding, Carlisle took it upon himself to catch me up on vampire history. We were currently enjoying a fairly stable period. Most vampires were wanderers that, for the most part, adhered to the niceties that Esme had detailed for me. The clans that lived together were few and far between. The largest being the Volturi, in Italy.

I couldn't help but picture him as a college professor during our sessions. He was an engaging speaker. He would make a great teacher and I told him as much one rainy evening.

He laughed and confessed, "I thought you would make an excellent vampire when I first met you as well."

"Your thoughts are more powerful then mine, I see," I replied.

Emmett was the most present of the group. He threw himself into my feedings, going far a wide to expand my horizons. I was even treated to a bison, which inspired me start the "Feeding Sasha Oath."

"Repeat after me, Emmett," I held a hand to my heart and the other in version of a salute left over from girl scouts.

"Repeat after me, Emmett," was his response. Instead of holding up the three fingers I was flashing at him, he held up only one, his middle finger.

"I will not forage for Sasha's food in any zoos or wildlife sanctuaries," I waited for him to repeat my words.

"I will not forage for Pain in the ass's food in any zoos or wild life sanctuaries," he rolled his eyes in frustration. He was getting bored with the whole task of feeding me, so he decided to create a game out of it one night. He waltzed in with a lithe looking deer and a stopwatch.

"Hey Pita!" Emmett liked the initials for 'Pain in the ass' as my new nickname and he used it liberally, "You put this deer down in under 4 seconds with no blood on you, and I will bring you a mountain lion next time."

I watched as he readied the adrenaline injection.

"And if I don't?" I tried not to let on how competitive I was.

"Bag of rats for next feeding, baby!" he smiled with huge delight.

I crouched as he put he needle in and tossed the deer to the other side of the penthouse.

I had not been expecting the throw, so I launched myself right at him. He caught me easily and held me against him, while cackling like a madman. Finally, he let me go and I felled the deer in the spotless kitchen.

"4.9 seconds and you got blood on your skirt, Loser!!" Emmett began a victorious imitation of a touchdown dance intermingled with holding his fingers in "L" shape on his forehead.

The betting started right then, "Double or nothing," I threw the words at him from the kitchen.

"Aww. Pita's a betting girl. Ain't that sweet. Pick your poison, Loser!" his eyes sparkled with the challenge.

"Poker. Hold'm." I flashed briefly on my sweet ghost of Betty. I figured she could give me a little extra luck.

"Oh, hells yeah. Shuffle up and deal." Emmett disposed of the carcass, while I dug up a deck of cards.

I had the pleasure of watching his face change as I shuffled with the expertise of a Las Vegas dealer. He looked shocked and mischievous all at once.

"I used to play at the pool every summer with my sister and our friends," I offered as an excuse for the trick. He seemed to visibly soften. I could almost hear a dismissive, _Just girls learning tricks _in his thought process.

He really believed the card game was in the bag when I went "All in" on the flop. He agreed to match my bet.

As the remaining cards were turned over, my low pair became a full house.

"Sucka! Kiss it, smack it and stick it," I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

We restarted the game after my quick win, and Emmett began to play like he meant it.

I took to calling him "Mary" and trash talking him throughout our games. We wound up tied when his shift was over. He cursed me up one side and down the other as Esme came in the door. She immediately reprimanded him, while I gave him the finger behind her back and started my own victory dance.

"Oh, it's so on now, Pita." he growled as I started smacking my own butt in his direction.

Esme was amused, "You and Emmett seem to understand each other quite well."

Understand was an understatement. Although I would never tell him, I adored Emmett. He reminded me of my boisterous cousins, who treated me like the tomboy I was as a child. I loved soccer, basketball and really any game of chance. I reveled in boy speak. I thought they were clever with each other. I got to witness a secret language where they demeaned each other to express their devotion. Once they insulted you mercilessly, and you took it and served it right back, you were in. They would have your back forever.

So, I knew being Emmett's Pita meant that he would have my back. By insulting him in return, Emmett got that I understood his man speak and was letting me in.


	21. Falling together then

So, all in all my new clan was filling up my vampire self like a puzzle, each piece meticulously crafted to be useful forever. I appreciated it, I really did. But I would be lying to myself if I didn't say I was waiting. All the time spent with others, I was waiting. For him.

For Edward. He was by far, my least frequent visitor. I was a little offended until Jasper mentioned that Edward was trying to be everywhere at once. He was our most effective surveillancer and seemed to be endlessly on patrol.

When he did take a shift with me, I knew it before he arrived. I knew it, not like Alice, with fluttering eyes and deep slips in consciousness. But the knowing started deep inside me, when I could feel the excitement pour like champagne through my veins. Bubbling and effervescent, the nearness of him started a symphony of butterflies and magic.

He would open the door quietly and my eyes would find him. Rudely, my conversation would stop mid-word with whomever was in front of me at the time. Sometimes, I would apologize and try and find my way back to the conversation, but my eyes would have trouble peeling from his.

Carlisle, excused himself on one such afternoon, snickering happily to himself and mumbling, "I know how to pick 'em".

Edward would greet me the same way each time, "Sasha." My name never sounded so beautiful, it was as soft as a pillow and filled with beauty coming from his sinful lips. At first I was ashamed of my thoughts of almost delirious happiness at the sight of him, so much so, I made feeble attempts to block them.

Edward stopped this almost immediately. He put one of his soft hands to my cheek, "Don't censor your thoughts, they bring me delight."

_Really? _I spent ungodly amounts of time visualizing my hand running through his hair.

"You never lie, at least not that I have ever noticed. It is rare and endearing." _Well ,ok then._

I let my thoughts flow freely after that little revelation. As much as I liked him around as eye candy, he too seemed to have a piece to my puzzle.

"Anything?" his sunshine colored eyes probed deeply into mine.

_No. Not even a hint. _He wanted to know if I had seen any ghosts.

"Have you tried?" We were in a disagreement about that. I was totally against trying to see one on purpose. Edward felt that trying in this controlled place might be safest.

_Edward. I know I should, really, I do. But I am alone in my head. No one comes to beg me for anything. It is just nice._

He took my hand, which melted all my resolve to try and appear coherent.

"You are supposed to be talking out loud." Edward's reprimand was dismissed. I found it too natural to think to him.

_I feel normal. I may be a blood-sucking vampire, but I am finally getting to feel like a real girl. Don't take that away, __Geppetto._

He changed the subject, "Well, Sasha, you have made an impact on the family. They are crazy about you, even Rosalie. Which is impressive."

I couldn't stop looking at our hands twirled together, like they belonged to each other.

_They are too kind to try so hard with me. _

"I have a surprise for you," he looked excited and a little guilty.

_Ok! What is it? _ He had not carried anything into the penthouse, so I doubted it was an animal.

"No, not a snack," he led me to the door.

I put the brakes on when he opened the door to the outside world.

_Really?_

"If that's ok with you?" he looked out from underneath his lashes.

I nodded as he led me to a stairwell at he end of the hall.

He walked backwards up the stairs, and watched me as he held my hand. I took the steps gingerly, slightly unsure of leaving my prison for the first time. He opened the door to the roof without looking at it.

As the door opened behind to reveal the rooftop tableau, I flashed back to the dying night.

Edward pulled me into a hug, "I am sorry, I didn't think about this that way." His words fell on the top of my head. In his arms, the champagne in my veins doubled it's effort. I took the chance to lay my head on his chest.

_Safe. _

_Home. _

_I am fine, he won't take rooftops from me, _I leaned my head back to encourage him with my smile.

Edward nodded and stepped backwards to lead me the rooftop, which was much more beautiful than the one I died on.

The Cullens had created an outdoor retreat. They had paved the roof with patio stone and Esme's golden touch revealed itself in the lush greenery. The sky-high garden was sprinkled with a few glowing tea light candles.

I couldn't help feel my heart soar at the romantic setting. His face reflected my feelings with a wide smile.

He reached in his pocket and retrieved a watch.

"A few more seconds," he tilted my head away from his face, until I was looking at the over-bright city nighttime sky.

"Look up, and keep looking up no matter what." I waited, looking at this sky that had disappointed me on many human occasions.

With the sucking sound of energy lost, all the lights in the city extinguished.

I couldn't help the gasp that slipped through my lips.

With the lights out, the stars twinkled through the night sky. I felt the laugh start in my feet.

I threw my arms out and stepped back from Edward. I began to spin to take in each and every star in the sky.

I stopped again and just stood. I could spot the big dipper, just like when I was a kid on Karen's driveway.

I focused my eyes back on his candlelit face. His smile was so welcoming.

_You did this. You turned off the city and gave me my stars back_.

"Guilty as charged," the aww shucks smile was followed by an equally charming shuffle of his feet.

I walked slowly until he was right in front of me. My hand found its way to his chiseled jaw.

_I love it. Thank you. _In the same instant that I put my lips to his in a soft kiss, the lights illuminated the sky again, washing my stars away.

_That was perfect._

"You are welcome. Thank you for taking giant lemons and making lemonade. You could be here driving everyone crazy, hating us all. But you are just going with the flow. I expected to feel awful, being responsible for your change. Instead, I find your mind full of the positive," Hearing him commend me for being exactly who I was made me endlessly proud.

_I was getting it right. _

Guessing I had a limited amount of time that anyone trusted me out of the penthouse, I turned to go head inside.

Edward wouldn't budge and held my hand. I looked at him with my head cocked questioningly.

"If we are going to have our first kiss, let's do it right," Edward pulled on my hand until I was wrapped in his arms. He quickly dipped me, dramatically. I squealed in surprise and gripped him harder. He waited until I was quiet, then held his lips just above mine.

"Sasha," was all he said. He allowed his lips a much longer kiss then I had allowed mine. He tasted so incredible, I found myself digging my hands in his hair.

When we finally broke the kiss, I knew I was in for it.

_I am falling for you. _

"We are falling together then," he looked victorious and sexy all at once.


	22. Could not have been prouder

When Emmett arrived to babysit, he found Edward and I kissing on the rooftop patio together.

"Oh, for God's sake. You actually have a room to take this nonsense to. Don't force that crap on the rest of us." I straightened my posture and tried to regain some semblance of composure as Carlisle and Jasper strolled onto the patio as well. I covered my eyes with one hand and skittered off to return to the penthouse, stealing a glance at Emmett as I passed, expecting a lurid taunt. I was shocked to see him starring daggers at Edward.

I was followed by the heard of seductive vampires in the front door. I slipped into my bedroom and closed the door quickly. Soon after I heard a gentle Jasper tap, "Hey, Sasha, could you put on some more casual clothes, please?"

I rushed around the closet that was really Alice's domain. While throwing on some jeans and a few layers of long sleeved tees, I contemplated what in the world had crawled up Emmett's butt. I dove into the bottom of the closet and found a pair of bright red heels. I quickly slipped them on and walked out the door.

The boys had all struck casual stances while waiting. They looked like a GQ cover. The tension between Emmett and Edward was palpable.

Emmett threw a glance in my direction. "What's up with the hooker heels, Pita?" Before I could respond with something along the lines of, 'Sorry girlie man, did you want me to find them in your size?' Edward was in Emmett's face, "Do we need to step outside?" I was alarmed at the tone of his voice. Edward meant business.

"No, dude, I'm cool." They both stood in front of one another like puffed up blowfish for a beat before they relaxed into a regular stance.

Men get over stuff so easy.

Edward addressed Jasper, "What's going on?"

Jasper had a hint of a smile. "Alice thinks tonight would be a good night for a stroll."

I didn't get it at first. All the men looked at me expectedly. I looked back, waiting for them to say something else.

We all hung there for an awkward few seconds, when it hit.

My mouth dropped open.

"There it is. The mouth always pops open on the blondes when they are done thinking." Emmett was obviously not afraid of making fun of me.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Really? I get to go? No! No! Yes?" I clapped my hands fast, launched myself at Edward, and hugged him hard. He looked pointedly at Emmett as he gave me an elaborate kiss. Carlisle ended the weirdness with a, "Let's get going."

On the way down the steps to the parking garage, Jasper whispered some tips, "Just walk really slow, if you see or smell a human, let yourself think and feel whatever occurs first. Edward will be listening and I can tell if you are tense. Got it?"

I couldn't find words, so I just nodded. We exited the building and entered the early morning. It had to be about 4 in the morning. Nice and dark for all us sparklers.

I took a huge breath of the air. It smelled like freedom and I loved it.

Edward held my hands to my waist and stood directly behind me. Carlisle hooked his arm in my bent elbow. Jasper hooked his arm in my other elbow. Emmett stepped in front of me and started walking backwards.

We moved as a group. I was glad it was such a bizarre time of the day, so no one would see our little monster parade. After the first block, I wished I had worn sneakers. Walking in heels made my gait slightly off and it was distracting me.

Emmett saw the tension in my face and started his tirade, "Well lookie here, Pita's out of her cage. Taking the Cullen family pet out for a walk. Did someone bring a baggy? Or at least a shock collar?"

"Shut it." He had succeeded in getting me to smile.

Emmett started to bounce around and fake box me.

"You are a child." Secretly, I was glad he seemed back to normal.

Walking with my really close bodyguards was oddly comforting. I knew I was safe with them. I was thrilled I had reached this stage of development.

The whole posse slowed down. They all spoke with hand gestures and facial expressions. Edward spoke from behind me "Ok, let's give it a shot."

I was wondering what the hell was up when the scent hit me. They must have sensed it first.

_Blood. Human Blood. Oh Blood._

Every limb on me tightened. Jasper sent calming waves of energy over me.

I began thinking of a way out. Without planning on it, I felt my mouth curve around my teeth.

"She's transitioning." Edward's calm words were followed by more pressure on my body from the men.

Emmett stepped forward and grabbed my neck in one of his massive hands.

Instead of scaring me, it steadied me.

_I'm going to be ok. If I slip they will kill me. I won't hurt anyone._

I dragged my lips closed around my deadly teeth. I saw my potential victim then, a homeless man in an alley. I could smell his dirty skin and his oily hair. But the heartbeat made all of that seem tasty. We all waited as I listened to the ambrosial sound of his heartbeat. The man was sleeping deeply. Slowly, the comforting pressure from the men was removed, piece by piece. First Emmett released my neck and whispered, "You got this Pita, hang tight."

Carlisle patted my arm gently as he withdrew his arm. Edward was next, lifting his soothing hands and taking a step back.

Jasper was still hanging on, "When I let go, be tougher then the thirst."

He watched my eyes as his solicitous touch was removed. I felt his calming power disengage. The rouge wave of pain almost took me to my knees.

"Jasper." I wanted his numb calm again.

I could hear the men's fading footsteps. Edward faintly gave me a simple direction, "Come back to the penthouse as soon as you can."

I was alone with a human. A very arguably expendable human.

_I need that blood. The heart will stop beating. The silence will be bliss. I will be full. _

I was crouched and ready to pounce, timing my bite on the upbeat, anticipating the fountain of blood from his neck, when I had a rational thought.

_I will create a ghost if I kill him. _

I uncurled from my crouch. After so many years of steering confused spirits, I could not make a ghost.

The responsibility I had felt in my human life had transcended to this magnified incarnation of myself.

I turned my back on the man. I felt the sound and vibration of his pulse tickling the skin on the nape of my neck, begging me to reconsider.

I strode from the dark alley that was his pitiful shelter. With every step I pulled away from the thick sound of his blood. Streetlights illuminated the way to the penthouse, and with every circle of light, I believed more in my conviction. _I won't make a ghost._

When I opened the door to the penthouse, the men were already celebrating. High fives and smothering hugs met me as I was passed from one Cullen man to another.

I finally found my way into Edward's arms, "You're one of us now. I could not be prouder of you."

This was my favorite day as a vampire, hands down.


	23. I can't lose you

Edward knew he shouldn't have kissed her. Sasha was basically his prisoner, granted her jail cell was a well-appointed penthouse.

He felt more clear-headed when he was away from her. Surveillance of her family gave him time to think. He was currently assigned to Jean, Sasha's sister. Jean had walked Pudge to the local dog park.

Edward assessed the girl quickly from his nearby bench. She had not noticed anything noteworthy about him. Jasper was a master at disguise, and he had designed Edward's current outfit. The denim jacket, kaki pants and baseball hat with long hair attached alarmed Edward at first. After a quick check in the minds of surrounding humans, Edward had to give his silent congratulations to Jazz. His innocuous outfit made him almost invisible to the humans. Their eyes would skim over him like a bird over trees.

Pudge was lack luster. The dog dragged around the park in a half-hearted walk, like a cement block was attached to its collar. At random intervals, the dog would lay prostrate with its head between its big floppy paws. Other dogs would sniff at Pudge, and Pudge would not respond.

_It misses her desperately_. Animals had been food for Edward so long, he was unsettled when he felt such compassion for the dog.

As if reading Edward's mind, Pudge lolled its dejected head in Edward's direction. One of its fuzzy eyebrows popped up, then the other followed. Pudge lifted its head instantly. It was looking right at Edward.

Edward looked over his shoulder to see what the dog was fixated on, but there was nothing but trees and a city background behind him.

Edward turned back to see the dog happily loping over to him. Pudge slapped a paw on each of Edward's knees.

_This dog is insane. Doesn't it know to avoid me_? The rest of the dogs in the park had obeyed their survival instinct and stayed as far away from a vampire as they could get.

Pudge was busy cocking its head from side to side and whining.

"You remember the hot dog, don't you?" Edward whispered disbelievingly at Pudge's big brown eyes.

At the mention of 'hot dog', Pudge sat and wagged its little stump with wild abandon.

Edward heard Jean's thoughts while she made her way over, _It's nice to see Pudge excited about something. I better get her off of that guy._

Edward tried to sink into the bench as she came over.

"I'm sorry she's bothering you. She's acting like she knows you." Jean's suspicions started forming.

She was immediately wondering if he was connected to her sister's disappearance.

"I had treats last time I came to the park with my dog and I shared with this little one here." Edward listened as his words were registered in Jean's mind.

_Figures. This dog would go with the devil for a dog cookie._

Jean didn't know how close she was to the truth.

She led the dog away, and Pudge resumed her dejected drag-walking.

Edward kept in tune with Jean's mind.

_I know, Pudge. I miss her too, but she's out there. I know she is still alive._

Jean had tried to talk the police into giving her Sasha's high heels. They were found on the sidewalk 15 floors below their apartment.

The police were very understanding, but couldn't let her have them back.

Jean pictured her conversation with the uniformed officer at the reception area at the police station. "No, I'm sorry, Miss. Those shoes have prints on them, we may need them for the investigation."

_Prints. _Edward remembered with his perfect recall sliding those exact heels on a slightly tipsy human Sasha's feet. _Those prints are mine._

Jean was thinking again, _They didn't match the prints found all over the balcony_.

Jean allowed her gaze to find Pudge lying on the grass. The dog had not been the same since. That awful day, when Jean had finally come home from her upstate retreat, she heard no barking as she turned the key to the apartment. She thought that Sasha was walking Pudge, because Pudge never let a key hit the door without barking like the world was ending.

But Pudge actually was barking. She was barking at the sliding door, instead of the front door. Pudge was barking, but not making any noise. Just a husky rasp was all that was left, as she hopped up and down. The dog had been barking for days.

Jean knew then. She knew something horrible had happened to her sister.

_But she isn't dead_.

Edward considered the sister again. She had never had this line of thought when he had watched her before. Maybe she had a touch of extra abilities herself.

He knew Sasha's parents had thrown themselves behind the missing person search. There were flyers all over the city and the news hosted regular updates with the parents.

Edward had kept these details from Sasha. Jasper had quietly programmed the T.V. to prevent her access to any show that would spotlight the harsh reality her family was facing. When she asked about her human family, Edward edited and delivered her the bare minimum. It had been hard enough to convince her that she could not contact them.

"_Your family will see the difference in your appearance and your voice. It's not something we can explain."_ Edward had kept his voice gentle.

"_I don't look that different Edward. My family needs to know that they can stop searching. Or better yet, we can tell them they're in danger so they can take precautions."_ Her voice had filled with hope.

He steered her to a mirror. _"Please look. Really look." _He watched as she took herself in. She gazed dispassionately at her glowing skin and enhanced perfection. Her skin was too white. Her hands were too hard. She saved the greatest distain for her blue eyes. They were almost a stormy grey ringed in the most vivid blue.

_Maybe someday? After time has passed? _Edward looked at the reflection of Sasha. He couldn't deny her hope. It was the driving force behind what made Sasha into Sasha.

He nodded once, in defeat. When she turned slowly to face him, he tried to remember he was her captor. Despite promises, clothes, and vampire lessons, she was brand new in this world. She was still in shock from her change or at least she could be. He should not be falling for her.

And yet he fell, every time, into her eyes. He wanted her, not just in his bed but in his life. He was addicted to her optimism. What would a life with her be like with her smile, ridiculous sense of humor, and fun? Whenever he entered her prison, she turned to him like a flower seeking sun. She loved having him in her head. She welcomed him, she wanted him in her mind. She was used to company in there, and having someone she invited as opposed to a random ghost, was a true treat.

How many times had he tasted a mind, just to find that, secretly, knowing he could read their minds was disturbing to others. Eventually, people wanted to be alone, and he tried to give that to him. His own family was the best for him, at least tolerating the possibilities that every private thought might be overheard. They were exceptional. But for an outsider, a partner to be his and be happy he could read their mind? Sasha welcomed it like flowers and candy.

Just thinking about her felt like a hug. She was pure goodness to Edward. Sure she had a snarky side, and she cursed in her head a lot, but she was never boring.

Edward shook his head with repugnance. When Sasha was finally strong enough to be a vampire, she would have her choice of suitors. She would find out how different Edward was and walk hand in hand with someone into a more 'normal' life. Being a vampire was hard enough, but hearing ghosts and having a boyfriend that could read your mind was stacking the cards against yourself, for sure.

But that kiss. The kiss that shouldn't have been.

Carlisle had been watching carefully as Edward allowed himself to feel more and more for Sasha. He had even quietly explained Stockholm Syndrome, a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed.

So, Edward knew it was not prudent to keep thinking about the kiss.

But when she was kissing him she was supposed to be there, in his arms. Her skin smelled like cinnamon and faith. He just wanted to adore her.

Edward realized he had been deeply daydreaming when two dogs began fighting over a stick on the other side of the dog park. It was getting quite vicious, and the owners were starting to shout at one another. A quick check revealed Pudge and Jean were fine, if distracted like everyone else in the park.

A little, yippy poodle had gotten caught in the middle and was turning out to be a quite a scrapper.

Edward heard Pudge's paws flying over the grass and watched as the dog headed straight at the fence on the far end from the fight. A fat squirrel was tempting the spaniel from the other side of a chain link fence. Edward watched through one eye as he anticipated Pudge's body slamming into the silver woven metal.

But Pudge's complete indifference to physical boundaries was rewarded as she popped thought the fence like a stunt dog. Edward stood too quickly; fully intending on scooping up the wayward dog, when he heard a thought. _I've got her dog now!_ The singsong thought was not from the vampire Edward had hit off of Sasha on the night she died.

_It is a diversion_. _Stealing the dog was a diversion, these vampires are moving now,_ as Edward came to his conclusion, he made sure Jean was still by the bench. _Was that the plan? I chase the dog and then they take the sister?_

Edward had Jasper on the phone in an instant. "They are moving on Sasha now, Jazz, there is more then one." Edward knew Jasper would need no more instruction to tighten up security on the other members of Sasha's family. As Edward called the penthouse, he listened for the dognapper in the surrounding area, but he heard only silence. He literally felt torn in two, he wanting to go after Pudge, but he knew he could not leave Jean unguarded. The dog fight was winding down. Soon, Jean would be looking for Pudge.

"S'up" Emmett answered on the second ring.

"Where's Sasha?" Edward spit the words out.

"She's on the roof fartin' around," Emmett responded in a relaxed voice.

"Emmett, get her inside, there's more than one vampire and they're moving now." Edward heard the phone drop and Emmett obviously ripping the penthouse door off its hinges.

Rosalie appeared in the dog park and nodded once in Edward's direction. Edward silently thanked Jasper's quick thinking as he hopped the fence just above where Pudge had run loose. As he went over, Edward noticed the fence was carefully torn in a corner. A vampire had set all of this up. When Edward started running he felt dread. He had no idea how many vampires they were dealing with now. He willed his phenomenally fast feet to fly. _Sasha._


	24. Balloony Ball

I couldn't take the smile off my face. I kept trying and finding my face betraying me over and over. Emmett had started making fun of me the he minute saw me. "Gas pains?" He nodded insultingly in my direction. "No, it's beating your ass pains." I pointed at him with both hands formed into guns, and made a cheesy "click, click" noise while winking.

"You're an idiot. Want to play Mario Brothers?" Emmett was already plugging in the controllers. We sat down together like two gladiators.

When Emmett was around, there was not a whole lot of talking necessary. We mostly grunted and trash-talked each other. He was slaughtering me at the video game.

I finally tossed down my controller in a show of extremely poor sportsmanship. "Can you take me for a walk?" I tapped my foot, practicing human impatience.

Emmett looked me up and down in a dismissive gesture. "No, Pita. I am not going to walk you."

Since my first stroll with my gaggle of awesome looking vampire guys, I was permitted and encouraged to take walks at night and when it was cloudy. Jasper was gentlemanly about it, holding my hand softly. Esme and I locked elbows like Laverne and Shirley, even humming the show's theme song and adding the leg kicks. Edward was steamy about it, throwing an arm around my shoulders and whispering other people's thoughts in my ear. He also thrilled me by staring down any guy that had the misfortune of looking at me twice.

Emmett was hysterical about it. He insisted on sliding his hand under my hair and holding the back of my neck in his 'Super Special Pita Vulcan Death Hold' claw.

"Could you just hold my hand or something? You're so bizarre." I said to him.

"Hell, no. This way I can pop your head right off your neck if you go all rabid on some poor bastard. See?" He applied pressure to the back of my neck, while making grating, loud popping noises. Every once in a while, when he saw a human he thought I would consider tasty, he would lean down and "pop" in my ear. It made me laugh every time. "You know you love me," he mentioned after one long spell of the giggles. His eyes held mine a second too long. It was almost flirting. "I love kicking your ass at Balloony Ball." I shifted my eyes away from his too intense gold-ones. He scoffed, "That freaking game? You made that crap up and you change the rules to suit yourself."

Balloony Ball was created after I found a bag of balloons in one of Alice's ambience drawers in the kitchen. She always had the makings of a party stuffed somewhere. I sat on the floor and tried to blow up balloon after balloon. They kept popping as I tried to regulate my vampire strong lips and breath. After the tenth balloon, Emmett's huge frame filled the doorway to the kitchen.

"What the hell are you up to?" Curiosity had gotten the better of him. "What does it look like? I am trying to blow up a balloon." I had expected another wise remark when he crouched down and snatched up a red limp balloon. He made a 'look how easy face' and blew it up with no trouble. He tied it off and held the expanded rubber just out of my reach. Then with a quick flick of his index finger, Emmett popped the balloon with a smile.

"Make another." I had to threaten him with endless renditions on the Star Spangled Banner before he broke down and finally blew up a green one. I dragged the sofa to divide the living room into two sides. All I had to do was hit it once, and Emmett was hooked like a kitten after a ball of yarn. Soon we were launching ourselves around , trying to keep the balloon from touching the floor. It was exceedingly tricky because even the lightest tap from our rock hard hands would burst the balloon. Eventually, I was up three points. I had a comfortable enough lead to start taunting him. "Emmett, watch and learn Baby Cakes. You need to quit swatting at the balloons like a gorilla. Gentle, tap into your feminine side." I earned a growl, but I didn't want to take it to far because I still needed him to blow up the balloons. When Esme entered to start her shift, she found Emmett and I standing amongst hundreds of balloon pieces.

"This is why you can't leave children alone at home." Her motherly tone made Emmett and I hang are heads. Like a true big brother, he blamed me. "It was her fault, she insisted on playing this game 'I'm bored'". Emmett did a horrendous imitation of my voice. I shot him a dirty look. "Well, it's partly Alice's fault. She has enough balloons in this place to fill a stadium. That's too much temptation." Emmett liked my excuse, he whispered "Holla" in my direction and we quickly bumped knuckles.

Esme insisted we clean up. I did notice that she brought a bulk store sized quantity of balloons the next time she arrived for another shift. She was a sweet push over.

Back to the present moment, driving Emmett crazy to get me way,

"Emmett, I am sick of being inside. It's cloudy. Walk me." Here I pouted and started making squeaky dog noises.

"Pita, it is going to be sunny in like 10 minutes, go up to the patio and bark up there." He refused to look in my direction.

"Hello," I pointed at myself, "remember me, I can't be trusted?" He sighed as he paused Mario mid jump, and twisted to face me.

"Alice said you could go up today by yourself. Enjoy it." The laughing, snide Emmett was gone. He met my eyes with a proud glimmer in his own.

I dropped my mouth in surprise. Emmett nodded and turned back to his game. I jumped up and down and danced in a circle. I went to head outside, thought better of it and ran back to give Emmett a big bear hug from behind.

"Thank you!" I shrieked in his ear before planting a quick kiss on his cheek. I heard him give a happy snort as I closed the door on my way out.

I was alone.

By myself, I walked up to the patio and spun in a circle. I couldn't help but look at the spot where Edward had kissed me. He had kissed me like a man in love. I let the tingly feelings travel through me again. He was the first man I had ever felt safe with. He understood my ghosts and was not afraid. I never thought I would find that in a man. I loved when I could feel him in my head. It was a gentle, soft sense of peace. Thought-talking was perfect for us. The inside joke of a lifetime.

Thinking about the kiss made me shiver where he had touched me that evening. I slowly took in the City as I walked the perimeter of the rooftop garden. _If I was strong enough to do this, I might be strong enough to see my family again_. I knew Edward was sparing me some of their pain. My family was just too close to me not to react to my being missing. _Pudge_, I missed that silly dog. I wondered if she would come to me or be afraid of the vampire me.

_Either way, if I had patience and worked hard, I could back to them. Just like when I worked with Calvin, every little moment mattered. Going slow would be rewarded, and I could be very dedicated._

I lay my cold, hard hands on the decorative cement scrolling Esme had used at the very edge of the rooftop.

Looking at the sky, I judged that my umbrella of clouds was thinning out. I needed to head inside. _One more test_. I wanted to see a human from here and not attack them. I thought of Edward's sweet kiss to give me strength, and I looked at the sidewalk.

I thought I was imagining it at first. I was looking at a well-dressed man holding a cocker spaniel. My cocker spaniel. "Pudge?" Pudge looked from the man way up to me. She immediately started to squirm and shake in an effort to get to me. I heard a sharp dog cry. _He had hurt her_. I was standing on the sidewalk before I had thought about it. I must have jumped or climbed down. As I landed on the sidewalk, a giant bus let a hoard of tourists holding cameras pour out. It would occur to me later that the tour of the warehouse district had to be the worst tour ever.

"Give me my dog." I was close enough now to notice I was dealing with Rick, again. He was dressed as if he worked on Wall Street with his hair tucked under the collar of his shirt. Pudge had her eyes on me and was wagging her stump, but whatever he had done to her was keeping her still.

"Sasha, I am sorry, this must look bad. I was walking in the city and I found your dog. I just wanted to return it." He was the perfect model of contrite.

"Ok, great, now hand her over." I barely moved my teeth to let my words slip out. Rick's mannerisms were completely different then the last two times I had dealt with him. His mouth moved different. His voice sounded higher. I dismissed the differences, _I was a human the last times we faced off_.

"First, I just wanted to say hi, how are you?" I waited for the punch line, but he looked as serene as a pope.

"I'm dead asshole. How are you?" I rolled my eyes in frustration. As I did it, I noticed a blurry movement. A vampire was hopping across the tops of the buildings in the distance.

_Was this a trap? _

Rick sighed," I made an awful impression last time we met. Let me just compliment you on your magnificent eyes. I have never seen such a beautiful shade of blue before."

_Are we really having small talk with the sun starting to creep out on a busy New York street?_

"I'm glad you like'm Rick. Really, it's touching. Now give me my dog before the sun lights us up like torches." I stepped closer and felt a very primal growl starting in the back of my throat.

"Please, don't call me Rick." He seemed disgusted at the mention of his name. He recovered his pleasant smile, "Sasha, It would please me greatly if you would do me the honor of letting me take you on a date." With the hand that wasn't trapping my dog he added a whimsical flourish.

I looked at him like he was out of his mind. "I'm gonna pass this time, Rick," I let his name combine with my growl.

"Well, in that case, I am sorry, but I can't give you back your dog." I felt the welcoming peace of my mind being read. I was able to keep my eyes on Rick and watch Edward shimmy down the side of the building we were standing beside.

Rick started massaging Pudge's neck. Pudge started wagging her stump and woofing happily. _That dog was a traitor._

While Rick was looking at Pudge, I took the opportunity to peek at Edward walking our way. He looked like an avenging angel, his beautiful face furious and determined. I noticed his skin was picking up a shiny sheen, the sun must be close to bursting through the clouds. Edward held his arms out as if he was going to catch something, then lifted his eyebrows and nodded towards me. I copied his movements and looked like I was about to catch a football.

Rick looked back at me. "I think you will change your mind, I know how much you love this dog. I am feeling ambivalent today, so I will give you another shot. I kill the dog today, and tomorrow, you can make this same choice with your sister."

"Look, Rick, the sun!" I said it with excitement and pointed towards the sky.

He fell for it. In a typical three stooges move, Edward slipped his hand in between Rick's side and arm. Edward palmed Pudge's silly behind. The dog was flipped in the air and Edward stepped in front of Rick in smooth motion. When Rick was done gazing at the sky, he was almost nose to nose with an extremely angry Edward . I caught an exuberant Pudge, who licked my face like it was ice cream.

"Pudge, yes it's me. You are not even a licker." I nuzzled her fur with my nose. Edward took a few steps back to stand directly in front of me. He reached back and wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled my lower back until Pudge and I were pressed against him.

"Don't look at the tourist," Edward whispered. I listened carefully in time to hear shutters clicking. The bored tourists had found something to photograph. They were about to get more then their money's worth when we all started sparkling like a bunch of firecrackers. I focused my attention back on the two deadly men in front of me.

They were locked in a death stare that spoke of eminent violence. I noticed the back of Edward's neck starting to glimmer. I leaned forward and whispered back, "Hey, we're getting pretty shiny here."

Edward seemed intent on the vampire in front of him. _Picking his brain, no doubt._

I looked down at my outfit. I was wearing a short sundress. There would be plenty of my skin exposed. I would be sparkling in a lot of places on camera in a few seconds.

I looked around for shade. None of the trees were big enough to help. A fake window on the side of the building Edward had crawled down had a tiny awning.

_Edward, I am not wearing a whole lot, and we are being filmed here. _

My concern seemed to reach him.

Rick was standing in front of us like he had not a care in the world. "Sasha and I are meant to be together. I knew it when I saw her." He tried to peek around Edward to see me but Edward tilted his head to block Rick's line of sight. "Sasha, you will come with me or there will be more death then these vampires can stop. I know they are holding you against your will. I have seen the big one dragging you around by your neck. It is beastly. I will treat you like the jewel you are." Rick sounded like he believed every word.

"You can suck some ass, Rick." I said over Edward's shoulder. Not eloquent, but it was expressive. Edward had finally decided our stand off had reached critical mass.

"Run, vampire. But know this, if you touch anyone she loves I will turn you inside out." Edward's voice thrilled me, it was so masculine and dripping in menace. I felt so protected.

_The awning! Quickly! _Edward pulled me in front of him, providing shade with his body. My feet left the ground as he hustled me as humanly as possible to the tiny bit of shade against the building. He kept his eyes on Rick the whole time. I took one last look and watched as Rick's whole face changed. He looked like he was waking up from a bad dream. His eyebrows assumed the aggressive position I was used to from our time on the roof. His posture went from dignified to slouching. He took in the scene in front of him, and turned to scurry away. He caught me looking at him and grinned the evil grin I had seen before I died. Rick licked his lips obscenely and mouthed, "You're mine" before he sprinted off way too fast.

Edward and I heard a swell of amazement from the tourists.

Pudge began barking and squirming the second Rick was out of her sight. She became a belated guard dog. I tried to hush her, but she just became more excited, adding squealing to the noises she was making.

Edward reached over and touched Pudge's neck. She immediately fell limp against me, unconscious. My mouth dropped open, _Edward, what the hell? _"Relax, Emmett taught me his sleeper hold." Edward still sounded tense and his eyes were scanning all around us. Edward took Pudge and curled her at our feet, she could be in the sunlight.

Our shade was dwindling pathetically. Edward backed me into the fake window and put his hands on either side of my head. He had an almost constant growl going now.

_Hey,_ I touched his sweet, angry face_, I'm ok, Pudge is ok, you did it, it's ok._

He shuffled his feet closer to me as the shade got smaller. The sun was out full blast at this point. "Kiss me, the tourists are worried about you." I started to softly kiss his lips. He was kind enough to keep his delicious tasting mouth still but the rest of his head was engaged elsewhere.

_Your passion here is kind of underwhelming_. I smiled during my kiss.

He changed his focus to me. "I can't lose you." He leaned down to kiss me so intensely, I forgot to pretend to breathe.

He inched closer and scooped me up so I could straddle him. We both looked at the ominous receding shade.

_What are we going to do?_ The tourists were now watching us. We were being an obviously passionate couple pressed against the building.

"Well, I am hoping Alice will have seen this and sent reinforcements," he leaned in to whisper in my ear and I laughed for the benefit of our audience.

_So we wait?_

"We wait." He seemed confident.

_My dog better not be dead_.

"Wouldn't that suck?" Edward succeeded in getting me to laugh for real.

I heard the huge SUV's engine before I saw it.

"Emmett." Edward confirmed for me.

The squealing screeches and rubber burning were suitable for an action movie, as the monster black vehicle headed straight for us. Even I was surprised when Emmett plowed over three road signs and a parking meter to pull up inches from my feet that were just getting bathed in the sun.

Edward had me in his lap in the front seat with lightning speed. Pudge was draped over the console between us and Emmett.

Emmett slammed the SUV in reverse and went 87 miles an hour backwards up the one way street he had just barreled down.

The tourists were not even trying to be subtle anymore. We left them in a trail of smoke while their fateful video cameras were trained on us.

Emmett squealed the tires again when he threw the car in drive and floored it.

"Where the hell is he? I will rip his god damn head off. Are you ok?" Emmett was enraged. He looked at me from head to toe assessing my injuries.

Edward was on the phone with Jasper quickly giving him a run down, and setting up a meeting point.

I looked at Emmett, who was not the least bit playful at the moment. "I am fine. Thank you for showing up with the timing of Superman. Between you and Edward the X-men are pansies."

I watched expecting Emmett to laugh. He just looked at my face like he couldn't believe I was real.

I put my hand on his on the steering wheel. "I'm ok." I said it gently. Emmett seemed to dial down his fury after my reassurance.


	25. Does she take cash for that?

I was digging around in the SUV for the adrenalin shots to awaken Pudge, when Emmett finally dropped some coherent conversation on me. "Pita, those shots are for much larger animals and I don't exactly make sure the dosing is correct."

Of course, Emmett was usually drugging animals that would be dead in moments. I started panicking in my head when I overheard Edward, "Jazz meet us at Carlisle's office, he needs to attend to Sasha's dog."

I hopped in the backseat with Pudge on my lap. She was snoring softly. I sniffed her fur again and stroked her blond shaggy head. It was overwhelming to be touching her. I was endlessly homesick for my loved ones.

The dark interior of the plush SUV got even darker as Emmett pulled into the underground parking for the hospital.

Emmett grabbed a ticket from the dispenser, and the action struck me a horribly ordinary. _In the middle of vampires and murders, we had to make sure to pay our parking fees_.

Edward seemed deep in thought, which could not be good. Emmett pulled a duffle bag and a huge sweatshirt out of the trunk. I was standing next to the SUV holding my dog when Emmett tried to take her from me.

I growled and bared my teeth.

"Calm down, Cugo, we can't bring a dog into the hospital, so we will sneak her in."

I allowed Emmett to take her and he put her in the duffle bag so gently, you would think she was made of glass. It warmed my heart and I felt less like attacking him.

Edward absent-mindly helped me into Emmett's huge sweatshirt.

_I am not cold and this thing is ugly_.

"You look great in anything, but a human would be cold in a sundress in the hospital." Edward held me around my waist and headed for the elevator.

By the time we reached Carlisle's office, Jasper was already there. The doctor took the duffle bag carefully while Edward quickly cleaned off Carlisle's desk. Pudge was uncovered and given an injection by Carlisle. I could not help but notice the finesse and alarming difference in Emmett and Carlisle's technique.

Emmett looked at my accusing stare and guessed what I was thinking. He threw up his hands.

"Pita, they are about to die, do you think they care if the shot hurts?" Emmett shook his head

I shrugged. "Yes."

"You're annoying." He flopped in the nearby chair.

As soon as Pudge came around, Carlisle administered a second drug.

Carlisle addressed me like I was a concerned mother, "Sasha, I just gave Pudge a sedative, I would like to keep her here to monitor her."

I trusted Carlisle. We all waited in silence. Edward was nodding and shaking his head to various thoughts.

Finally, he turned toward me. "Sasha, I found some disturbing things in Rick's brain and I would like to discuss it with Carlisle and Jasper before presenting it to you. I do have good news. We have about a month before Rick can act against you or your family again."

_How can you be so sure?_

"You're going to have to trust me." He came to put his hands lightly on my face.

_I trust you._

Edward kept his eyes on mine while addressing Emmett, "Emmett, can you take Sasha home please?"

"You got the dog?" Emmett asked Carlisle.

"Yes, I will bring Pudge back to Jean as soon as I get to observe her for a bit.

_No. No. Edward, I want to keep her. Please._

He nodded once and gave me a gentle kiss.

"Carlisle, that dog has a malfunction and is not afraid of our kind. Do you think it would be possible for Sasha to keep her?" Edward had turned to face his father, but kept a hand touching my arm.

"Sure, I will bring her to the Penthouse then."

I didn't want to leave. I wanted to hear what Rick had stored in his decrepit brain.

"Please, let me work this out. I won't edit anything when I tell you. I promise." I blew a frustrated breathe into the air.

_Fine. I will see you home._

"Be safe." I nodded at his final order. Emmett herded me out the door and down to the SUV.

He hopped into the driver's side and revved the engine to life. I just watched.

I didn't want to get in. The electric passenger side window rolled down.

"Get in, Pita." He narrowed his eyes trying to figure out what I was doing.

I wouldn't get in.

"Did you need a refresher course on opening doors?" He thought maybe I was playing a game. We always played games.

Emmett hopped out and came around the vehicle. "What the hell is happening here? Are you pulling some girly crap?"

"I want to go home." It came out of my heart.

"That's good, because that's where this bus is headed." He was looking more perplexed.

"No. Emmett, I want to go _Home._" I emphasized the important word.

"Hey, baby girl, you know that is not possible." Emmett spoke with a kindness I didn't know he possessed.

I stepped forward and took his massive hand in mine. "I want to just see them. I want to see Jean. Please, take me there." I looked into his reluctant face.

So close to him, Emmett smelled like my new home. I remembered the words of evil Rick _"I know they are holding you against your will. I have seen the big one dragging you around by your neck. It is beastly"_

I tried again, "Emmett, am I being kept safe or just being kept?"

I saw a multitude of emotions change his handsome face, until it settled on resignation.

"Get in, we won't have long until Alice sees what we are doing." He was headed around the SUV, it was rolling already as I slid into my tall seat.

Emmett speed through the city like he was on the way to dismantle a bomb. He kept rubbing his hand on his neck and leaning forward to look up at the tall buildings.

I noticed the sun that had pressed Edward against me had hid its guilty face. The clouds were thicker and looked deep grey.

Emmett parked the SUV around the block from the Trump Place building. He grabbed his hat from the gearshift it was dangling on and tossed it to me. "Hide your hair."

He yanked open the passenger door, grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the service door. I looked around to see where he had brought me. We were in apparently trying to break into the building across the street from my human apartment. Emmett would let me see Jean, but just from a distance. _I could take that. _

We heard some rustling behind the service door.

"Don't slap me," was all the warning Emmett gave me before he went to second base on me and seemed to be attempting third with his other hand.

I got out a shocked, "Sto" but my "p" got swallowed in Emmett's aggressive kiss.

I saw a small man wrestling some garbage bags out of the corner of my eye.

He took in the sight of Emmett groping me and muttered, "Stupid kids" before heading to the dumpster.

Emmett's hand left my thigh and shot out to catch the door. He was pushing me through the bottom floor of the unfamiliar building.

We darted into an elevator, and as the door closed, Emmett pointed to the panel of number buttons. I pushed fifteen, figuring it might correspond with the floors on my building. As soon as the doors sealed closed, my hand was headed for Emmett's face. He caught my wrist and waggled his eyebrows at me, "I said no slapping."

"That isn't like calling 'dibs' or 'shotgun'. You grab boob, you'll pay the price." I feigned punching him with my other hand and kneed him between the legs instead.

"Son of a Bitch!" Emmett released me to grab his situation.

"You couldn't think of anything else to do? Edward's going to rip you balls off," I was stalking around the small space of the elevator as it ascended.

Emmett was still hunched over, "Rosalie is going to rip yours off."

_He has a point there_. Emmett put one hand on the metal interior of our electric chariot and glared at me.

"I needed whoever came out of the door to go on their merry way. Nothing makes people more uncomfortable than witnessing a good fondling." He was able to stand all the way up.

"You could have just growled at him." I was feeling a little bad for kneeing him so hard.

"Then, the guy would have run back in the building." He shook his head at my lack of foresight.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

He motioned for me to go ahead of him, I took the bait and headed out the door.

I heard the air whooshing just an instant before I felt the smack to the back of my head.

"You're an ass." I rubbed the now throbbing part of my skull. We were in what seemed an activities and amenities floor. It was deserted, the occupants of the building obviously out earning the rent.

I pointed to the door that I thought might give us a glimpse into my human apartment. It was the entrance to the workout room. I was expecting a fancy vampire trick, when Emmett simply kicked in the door.

He motioned to me again and I shook my head. He could go first.

He refused. We wound up going through at the same moment, slapping each other silly the whole time.

"Enough!" Emmett stepped away and I straightened my baggy sweatshirt. "We do not have time for your childish games. Do this now before I regret it more then I already do."

Hearing Emmett be so sensible put a little shame into me. I was acting like a jerk. I walked over to the window. The stationary bikes were lined up like soldiers with a nice view of the outdoors. My apartment was easily visible. _Come to think of it, so was my bedroom._

Emmett put it all together. "These windows here are tinted. You had no idea they were looking into your apartment." His voice had raised an octave with delight. "Hope you had your blinds closed when you were changing."

When he saw the apprehension on my face he busted out laughing.

I started throwing weights at him, which he caught easily while cackling at my embarrassment.

I glanced back at my old place and saw my sister trudging in her front door.

I got quiet when I saw her desolate face. I walked to the window and put my hands on it. _It was the closest I could get to hugging her._

I felt Emmett standing soundlessly behind me.

Jean had an armful of flyers with Pudge's picture on them.

_Of course she is looking for Pudge. She had no idea the dog was fine._

"Emmett." I could think of nothing else to say.

He pulled me into a very brotherly hug. I kept my eyes on Jean, but his arms helped me feel less alone.

The ringing phone sent my sister springing for the handset.

"Hello!" Her anxiousness had me hoping it wasn't a telemarketer. Jean would rip them a new asshole.

Despite my great hearing, the voice on the headset was not audible.

"No, Mom, no word on Sasha. Pudge took off at the dog park after a squirrel. I am looking for them both now." Her anguish was torture.

"I'm right here. Jean. I'm right here." I whispered into Emmett' massive chest. My voice was thick with tears that my venom evaporated.

Emmett pulled me away. "Stay right here. Promise." He was serious.

"I promise." I was perplexed as he ran from the room.

I watched my sister listen to my mother cry. I knew why Edward had kept me away. This was worse then wondering. Knowing my family's pain and seeing it with my own eyes just made the deep wound deeper.

Emmett was behind me again.

He spoke into the top of my head. "Call her, tell her you're alive."

"Whhhaat?" I faced him.

"Quickly, we have almost no time now. Be vague, don't let on what has happened to you. Do it now, or your choice will be made for you." He was holding out quite possibly the oldest cell phone I had ever seen.

"Where did you go to get this, 1990?" I was still in shock over his simple idea.

"Wiseass, do it now." I dialed my own phone number and watched as Jean hit the flash button for call waiting.

"Hello?" She was hopeful for news of Pudge.

"Jean, it's me Sasha. I am alive and I have Pudge, she is fine. I can't tell you what has happened to me, but I am safe." I added my prayer out loud "Believe me."

Jean was always so practical. She got right to the point. "Tell me what got you through the nights as a kid."

I smiled at the fight we had a million times. "You did. When I was scared of my ghosts, you would let me sleep in your room and I would bring every single stuffed animal I had and make a giant nest for myself in your bed. And you always let me. You never turned me away." I watched as Jean's beautiful face registered relief. Tears of joy wet her cheeks.

"I believe you." She took a steadying breath. "Sasha do you need help?"

"Jean, I am working on keeping you and Mom and Dad safe, but you must be very careful. I have friends where I am. I may not ever to be able to see you again. But I love you. Tell Mom and Dad I love them so much." Emmett slid the phone from my grasp and crumpled it into a pile of metal ashes.

I watched as my sister excitedly clicked the phone back to my mother's line. The news was delivered.

_Hope. I gave them hope_.

"Emmett, I can't thank you enough." I hugged him again. He patted my back sweetly.

"Edward." Emmett threw the greeting onto my hair.

"Ladies." I looked at a very irritated Edward.

Emmett took the blame, "Hey, bro this was my idea."

Edward was speaking to Emmett but looking into my eyes, "I was here before she made the call."

Emmett gave Edward a nod and headed for the door.

As an afterthought he stopped right next to Edward. "Dude, I'm sorry I felt up your girl. She is a good kisser and has a nice rack." Emmett held up his fist.

Edward concentrated on both of our minds, I could feel the comfort trickling in. I pictured the incident from start to end.

Edward met the fist with his own. _Forgiveness._

Emmett left without turning around.

Edward gave me a sweet smile. "You do know you are free to leave. We are not keeping you."

_Oh. I am being dismissed. The Cullens are done with me_.

"Absolutely not. I heard your question to Emmett about being kept. I truly hope you know the answer to that question." He was talking careful steps towards me, his hands held in a non-confrontational way.

_I could only go if you made me leave_._ When my heart is close to yours, I_ ,here I could not find the right words, so I filled my mind with images, swirly, perfect warmth, with Edward at the center.

"Sasha," with may name I found myself in his arms. I looked up at his flawless face and he was distressed.

"What if your feelings are not as authentic as your think? What if, because you perceive me as a captor, these feelings are misplaced loyalty?" He was voicing a great fear.

"Stockholm Syndrome?" I spoke out loud in my surprise. "I wrote a paper on that in college. I can say with absolute certainty, my feelings for you are original and unprovoked." Edward's eyes became hooded with intent. I lifted my face happily to his.

"Keep your eyes open," He said it into my lips, so I watched him as he kissed me.

I was ready to make good use of the weight bench when Edward broke my passion. "The Police are on the elevator, so right now might not be the best time."

The look on his face told me I could convince him that an audience of armed men would be just fine.

_Let's get out of here_.

Edward put his arm around my shoulders. We started walking the hallway like we were taking a casual stroll, as five officers rushed past us to the workout room.

Edward held open the stairwell door for me. Then, out of sight, we were full speed vampires to the bottom floor door.

We were heading out the same door Emmett and I had sneaked in, when Edward whispered, "We have company." He pulled me against him, "Kiss me."

For the second time that day I was happy to grant his wish. He kept chuckling.

I was curious until I saw the same man that had spotted Emmett and I, watching me and Edward smooching.

_You sneaky man. You set me up._

Edward made an elaborate show of grabbing my thigh just like Emmett had.

The human man cleared his throat, "Um, does she take cash for that?"

I was shaking my head, ready to laugh, when Edward's hand shot out and grabbed the man by his throat.

Edward was threatening the man's life and yet still casually leaning against the wall with me against him.

"Apologize to the lady." His voice was made of pure swashbuckling sexiness.

_Damn. Where is that weight bench? _

The doomed man wet his pants. Edward released his iron grip and let the man fall to the ground, "Good enough."

Edward held the exit door open for me.

I winked at Edward and gave the man a stage whisper "Not just cash, I take credit cards too!"

Edward swatted me on the bottom as we made our way out of the building. A superb Ferrari was waiting for us at the curb. Edward held the door as he admonished me, "That poor man will probably spend the rest of his life looking for the hooker that takes credit cards because of you."

I settled into the seat that cradled me like a lover.

As Edward started up the Enzo, I felt the thrill of the loud motor go through me. _I would love to see him drive this. _

Edward winked back at me, took off his jacket to reveal a dark t-shirt. His right arm had a leather cuff. "Hang on, gorgeous. I think a little speed is just what you need."

I tried to pay attention, but as he pulled away from the curb, I could not stop staring at his flexing forearm as he changed gears.


	26. Sex On Wheels

So, the Enzo was sex on wheels. I had never ever seen a picture of a car this hot, but being in it made me sigh. The petals that Edward worked looked like flat, metal spaghetti strainers. I ran my hands along the hard dashboard. The steering wheel was so loaded with buttons, it looked like the inside of a rocket ship. I eyed the sound system. Edward smiled.

"I actually had that added, the Enzo comes without one." He slid a pair of sunglasses on as the sun made it's pre-Twilight appearance.

_May I? _

"Of Course."

I picked up his leather cd folder. I delightedly plucked the first album out. "Perfect, I love this song."

I handed it to Edward who looked at my choice, smirked and fed it to the cd player. _It must be kismet, Edward has my favorite driving song in his car._

Closer, by Nine Inch Nails, pulsed to life. I mouthed the lyrics as Edward rounded the curves towards upstate New York. On the tricky two-lane, no shouldered Taconic Parkway, he averaged 156 miles per hour.

The song ended and I picked up the case again. Surprisingly, cd after cd was comprised of elegant classical music.

Edward turned to me, "That's a filthy little ditty."

I puckered my lips. _Yes. Yes, it is. The Nine Inch Nails isn't yours, is it? _

"It's Emmett's. He left it in here the last time he drove."

_Would you mind killing me right now very much?_

"It'd be difficult to kill you right now as you're already dead."

_Damn Emmet, he's busting my balls and he isn't even here_.

Edward's answer was a full-bodied laugh. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

_Don't you dare call and tell him!_

Edward flipped the phone open and hit the speed dial. Emmett's name came up on the screen.

I lunged at Edward, trying to wrestle the phone from him.

I wound up straddling his lap, holding his hand with the phone above his head.

I could tell from the receding landscape, that Edward was now driving faster instead of slower.

I managed to hit the 'End' button on the cell phone.

"You've lost a lot of your strength. I dare say you're at normal vampire status now." He let his phone drop from his hand.

_You're not the first to say that_. _Stupid Emmett_.

Without my horrible music, the car was filled with the engine's purr. I don't know how he was driving with me blocking his view, but I snaked my arms around his neck instead of sliding over to my rightful seat.

Edward drove with one hand and put the other on my lower back. Instead of kissing we just looked into each other's eyes.

_Hot, sexy man. You could kill a girl this way_.

"My girl is too strong for death." He had dropped his eyes to my neck.

Edward leaned forward to nip at my throat, gently scraping his teeth on the super sensitive site of my death wound.

_That's nice_

He sat back with hooded eyes and a crooked smile.

His hand traveled slowly from my back to the center of my chest. He put gentle pressure until I understood and leaned back against the steering wheel. His clever mouth had me gasping and growling. All the while, Edward was driving the most treacherous mountain roads at the Enzo's top speed.

It was night when we untangled ourselves atop a beautiful Catskill Mountain.

_This is my old stomping grounds_.

"I know, you had such beautiful memories of this spot, I wanted to see it in person." He held my hand and kept his thumb rubbing an endless possessive circle.

The scenery was even better now that I was a vampire. I could see the crispness I could only smell in the air as a human. Each leaf had its own personality. The sheer cliff faces recording layers of time with such arresting accuracy.

_Thank you for bringing me here_.

"Thank you for the car ride." He lifted his lip like Elvis and growled.

_My pleasure_.

"Do you know your eyes get bluer when you think of me?"

_How embarrassing_. I looked towards my feet.

"Hey," He lifted my chin with his knuckle, "it warms my heart, don't be embarrassed."

We were quiet for a while. The sky painted itself black and the stars began showing off, glimmering and flickering.

Eventually, Edward sat on the ground, he pulled me down and settled me between his legs. I used him like a lounge chair for the star viewing.

_Star bright, starlight, first star I see tonight_.

Edward looked at my face and followed my eyes and thoughts to a small, strong star off of the big dipper.

"That is the 1,435th star you have seen tonight."

_Shush. Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight._

"I'm listening." Edward was waiting for my wish.

I turned to face him, sitting Indian style.

_I wish Edward would believe he made dying worth living for._

"Don't waste your wish on me." Edward scoffed and looked past me.

I spoke out loud, "I'll waste all my wishes on you. You can't regulate wishes." I gently chastised him.

_Edward, you silly vampire, I pick you. I pick you to love._

His looked into my eyes again at the words love.

"How could you possibly know that?" He seemed truly confused.

_How could I possibly not? Love is easy, I have been in love many times._

"Reeallly?" He had made the two-syllable word sound much longer.

I shook my head with a smile

"How can it be so effortless for you? Aren't you afraid of the pain?" He was searching my face for answers.

"Life is just like this, Edward." I motioned to the sheer cliff with the picturesque terrain.

_You can either be afraid of the fall, or enjoy the view. _

I walked to the edge of the cliff to prove my point. He was soon beside me.

"How did you get all this down pat in such a short amount of time?" He was teasing now.

_Women are a lot smarter than men_.

Edward grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.

My very tippy toes were on the rock, but the rest of me dangled over the 500-foot drop.

"So it's like this then?" His seductive voice captured me.

_Just like this_. I put my arms out and leaned back as far as I could, closing my eyes.

"I am enjoying the view now." His voice was meaningful enough for me to open my eyes as he gathered me closer. I put my head on his chest.

"Tell me you love me," he said. I found his golden eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

_I love you. _I could actually feel my eyes getting bluer, but I kept my gaze steady_._ It was a vow for me, one that I would never turn my back on.

"Out loud." he whispered.

"I will love you forever, Edward." I smiled and kissed his lips.

"How can you say those words without expectation in your own mind?" He was smiling too now, "You truly are as good as you seem Sasha Duncan."

Edward dipped me dramatically over the edge of the cliff, the most dangerous dance move in the world. With the stars bordering his beauty, Edward said loud enough to echo, "I am honored to love you. Kiss me."

Trusting him to hold us both, I kissed him passionately.


	27. Eight Strong

"Well, gorgeous, would you like to drive?" Edward's grin was tempting.

"Are you kidding? Hell ya!!" I looked expectedly for the keys.

Edward walked over and lifted the door upwards, so it looked like a wing. I let my fingers trail from the door to his chest. _Keys, handsome?_

"Not necessary." He waited until I was fully seated before he closed the door. As he settled into his passenger seat, he pointed to the red button that was the ignition.

_No way. _

"Oh, yeah." He had picked the cd case up.

I pressed the button and felt the motor explode. I felt like I was already holding her back.

I drove fast, but much more cautiously then Edward.

"That's what you think." He was sliding in the cd.

_Takes a strong man to ride bitch, you look cute doing it_.

Nine Inch Nails made themselves known again, this time Edward sang the lyrics out loud. _Perfect recall_.

_That's a filthy little ditty_. I thought, mocking his mocking of me. _Who says ditty anymore? 'Pantaloons' are probably still in your vocabulary. _

Edward responded by tickling me, all the while demanding that I not get even a scratch in his car.

I took the long way, enjoying the response to the gentle tap of the gas petal the Enzo gave me.

"Did you know, every time you shift gears, your skirt rides up a little bit?" His eyes looked devilish. I shifted into fifth gear just to watch his eyes watch my dress.

Soon enough, I pulled the beast of a car over at a Park n' Ride.

I needed to know what I was facing, and driving Edward's fabulous toy was not going to help me concentrate.

We switched places.

Edward could sense the change in my thoughts and looked somber.

_Tell me_.

With a deep sigh, Edward began.

"Well, first off you were dealing with Tom today, not Rick."

_He has a twin brother_? I pictured the odd facial expression and posture change at the end of our stand off.

"No, one of that idiot is enough. Rick has a mental condition. We believe he might have a dissociative disorder. Have you ever heard of multiple personalities?" Edward looked to me to see if I was following.

_Yes, I have seen Sybil_.

"Well, Rick is one of that vampire's personalities, the other calls itself Tom. Carlisle did mention that there is some controversy over dissociative disorder, but judging from his thoughts and mannerisms, it is safe to assume that we are dealing with many vampires in one body."

Edward fished his phone out from behind his seat and slipped it into his pocket.

"I have only read the minds of two. Rick is impulsive and undedicated. When he claimed he would kill your family, he was just bluffing. He looses interest quickly."

_Well, that's good_.

Edward slightly frowned and shook his head. "Unfortunately, Tom, the other personality, becomes fixated. Right now, Tom thinks you might be the perfect woman to help him defeat Rick once and for all, so he can be in charge of the body."

_Seriously? How the hell am I supposed to do that?_

Well, Tom's train of thought is not logical and was hard to follow. Your blue eyes remind him of his mother's eyes. The way he thought of his mother seemed obsessive. He saw her as a savior. Tom felt his mother loved him, but Rick interfered with his awful tendencies, so that is why his mother abused them both."

_Um. Wow_. Edward must have seen the touch of sympathy when I heard the word 'abuse'.

"Sasha, we can't underestimate this vampire. I have never seen such a fractured, violent mind."

I looked out the window of the speeding Enzo, remembering the faces of the ghosts that had helped me the day Calvin had been taken. My heart hardened.

"That's better."

_So what is going on with the month break? _

"Well, it's April. Rick and Tom agree on one thing. During April, every year since he was made, the vampire spends the month self-flagellating."

I wrinkled my face in distain. _What the hell does that entail? _

"Suffice it to say, it's not pretty. Come May, he will be ravenous for blood and evil. April is the month he killed his mother. Are you feeling ok? This is a lot to take in." He hated telling me this news.

_I am fine. It's good to know. _

"So, this month we are going to try and acclimate you to society a bit more. You can plan on some outings to increase your exposure to humans."

_Why?_

His jaw tightened. "It is prudent and useful."

_And if you all die trying to save me, I will be able to live as a vampire_.

"He is one vampire, we are seven strong. We just need to catch his slippery mind and future." He was determined.

_We are eight strong, Edward. Eight_.

He picked my hand up off the center console and kissed it.

"Right you are. Eight now." I nodded with conviction.

_I'll be damned if I let him anywhere near Edward_.

Edward groaned. "You know I heard that."

_Sorry._


	28. Ballerina Pudge

As Edward and I walked up to the Penthouse, we held hands.

We were welcomed by a barking Pudge when we entered.

I sat down where I was standing to be in her flurry of happiness. She was obviously fine, Carlisle would make an excellent vet as well.

Pudge smelled like coconuts and had on a complete ballerina's costume. "Who decided my dog needed a tutu?"

Alice raised her hand sheepishly, "You'll eventually think it's cute, trust me."

It _was_ growing on me. Pudge was in her full excitement mode, woofling and spinning in circles.

Alice and Carlisle were on their way out for surveillance.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate what you are doing." Carlisle patted me on the shoulder and Alice whispered in my ear as she skipped out the door, "The cliff kiss was hot!"

We were left with Rosalie and Emmett. I looked around the penthouse to discover someone had bought enough dog products to keep an entire wolf pack fed, clean and happy for years.

Emmett seemed to pick up a conversation that had been started earlier.

"Well, Rose, you have shown the mutt more loving in one night then I've seen in a month."

I looked at Edward, _Awkward. _He was obviously sneaking a peek in his brother and sister's minds.

He looked troubled.

Rosalie was busy lining up an obscene amount of chew toys in a kitchen cabinet, seemingly totally ignoring Emmett.

"Hey Rose, I kissed the hell of Sasha today." He stared at the back of her head.

_Nice, throw me under the bus. Jerk_.

Rosalie opened a bag of collars and started hanging them up in the hall closet.

"Well maybe, I'll do it again right here. Will that get to you, ice princess?" Emmett took a step in my direction. I scuttled behind Edward.

"Whatever. Screw you all." Emmett left the penthouse with a defiant door slam.

Within seconds, one of Esme's potted flowering trees from the rooftop garden flew past the window. Edward and I cringed as we heard the pot shatter on the road below.

"Which one do you want?" he asked. I guess we were going to divide and conquer.

_Rosalie for me_. I heard two more pots hit the street. _You better be careful_.

"I'll be fine. See you in a bit." Edward gave me a kiss on my forehead.

He closed the door much quieter. Pudge was leaping up for pets and then circling me in excitement.

I sat on the floor again and let her climb in my lap.

The pots stopped being thrown off the roof, so either Edward had talked Emmett down, or he was busy playing a horrible game of catch.

"Pudge has never been so pampered, thank you Rosalie." I kept looking at Pudge, but I could feel Rosalie sit down in front of us.

"No problem, it was a lot of fun buying stuff for her." Pudge was an equal opportunity lover and started spreading herself towards Rosalie too.

I took the chance to look in her eyes. I saw what I thought I would.

_Want_. She wants what she can't have.

I started suspecting things were changing for Rosalie during one of my walks.

I had approached her with a request. "Rosalie, I have a favor to ask." She had looked at me dispassionately.

"Ok. Shoot. But I am not promising anything." I took a chance that she, of all the vampires in the house would understand how important this was to me.

"I would like you to take my walk so that we run pass some children." It seemed like a sick request.

"Why, in God's name, Sasha would you want to endanger kids?" She seemed angry.

"If I can't resist them, then I don't want to be." I saw the understanding reach her eyes.

"I don't want to be a thing on this planet that could hurt a child. So, if I can't do it, I need you to end me."

Rosalie bobbed her head up and down. "Ok."

Our next walk took us in front of a daycare. I kept focusing on the goal and I was able to get past the area with little trouble. But I knew if I had so much as growled, Rosalie would have been there to keep the kids safe. And to make me stop being.

I was still thankful. As my walks with her increased, I noticed the haunting want in her eyes.

She and I were both petting Pudge when I said what I had avoided mentioning on our walks. "You want to be a mother."

We met eyes again. "Yes. I want it so much I can taste it."

"I wanted to be a mother before." I didn't need to say 'before what', she knew.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked. I was perplexed. The answer would not come. I went in a different direction.

"Rose, have you ever drained a human?" I was curious.

"No. I never have." _There were so many more layers to this beautiful woman_.

After doing the math, I figured she had been a vampire for about 60 years.

"You know, when you're working with kids, they become yours. You have to be able to love a lot of them at once though." I smiled encouragingly at her. "You're not their mother, but there is a really strong connection."

"What are you suggesting?" She seemed scared and thrilled at my train of thought.

"Maybe we can find a way you could get involved. I would help you with a resume. Maybe the daycare with the babies needs some help."

I saw her eyes sparkle with hope.

"I mean Pudge loves the attention, but a child would be so lucky to have you doting on them." I ruffled the fur on top of Pudge's silly head.

"Emmett doesn't get it. He thinks I should be satisfied with just him. And I am. I love him, but I need more. I want something to depend on me." She was getting at the heart of the matter.

"Emmett will come around. He just wants to fix things for you. Sometimes standing aside is the hardest thing." I placed my hand on hers.

"He really kissed the hell out of you?" She seemed skeptical.

"We were undercover. He really helped me today. He's a good guy. I did knee him in the junk pretty hard." At this Rosalie started laughing so hard that Pudge began barking.

Edward came back into the penthouse. "Emmett went for a walk. He said he would be back for his shift." He smiled at Rosalie and nodded at a thought she had in his direction.

"Hey, I think I have to go. I might have to go job hunting tomorrow." Rosalie left with a wink for me and a snuggle for Pudge.

Edward and I were alone with the dog.

"So where is Emmett, really?" I couldn't imagine the big lug settling down that quick.

"Well, I threw him off the roof so he would leave Esme's plants alone. I think he was headed to Central Park to fling some of their trees around. Rosalie likes you. That's a rarity." He held his hand out to me to help me off the floor.

_She's just misunderstood. She has a special need. _

"If bitchiness is a disability, then she has that in spades." Edward grabbed a treat out of the now prominent dog jar in the living room. Pudge jumped up to get it with as much gracefulness as a coffee table.

"I have to go to Phillion's again. There is a detective that wants to question me about your disappearance. A good Samarian tipped them off to the fact that you left that evening with me."

_Oh no, you're not a suspect are you?_

He shook his head. "Jasper has important friends on the force, so I will be fine."

_I would not want to piss Jasper off_.

"Well his contact is another detective that happens to be a vampire. So she is aware of the rouge vampire, and that he killed you. We just haven't shared that we saved you, yet."

_The night shift?_

"Of course." He was on his way out the door. "Emmett should be here soon to take you out. I'll see you later."

_Later_. Our kiss lingered longer than it should.


	29. Playing WalMart

I had changed to jeans and a t-shirt, when Emmet barged in the door. His presence was so massive, it seemed like he should have things in orbit around him. He was still mad.

"You leave anything standing in the park?" I was rewarded with a guttural growl. After a while of me picking silently through Pudge's new possessions, Emmett seemed to blow his top.

"What the hell does she want me to do? I mean change a kid? How could I do that? It's illegal and disgusting. I feel like I don't even know who she is anymore." He was stalking around the apartment launching his angry words at me.

"Emmett, she is the same person. She always wanted to be a mom. You know that. Maybe you have to just give her space. Let her find herself." I tracked him with my eyes.

He stopped. "Enough of the happy Dr. Phil horse shit. Get shoes on, it's time for the Cullen family pet's field trip."

I laced up a pair of pink Converse. He did not even acknowledge me as he walked through the door and left it open. I had to rush to catch up.

His Jeep was headed out of the parking lot before I was even close to it. I was forced to sprint and launch myself through the sunroof.

Emmett watched me as I dropped into his vehicle. When I finally met his eyes the agony there made me bite my lip. He had brought me a phone when I needed it most. Sure, the police had my sister's phone tapped and they had triangulated the signal to almost catch Edward and I, but it was the thought that counts.

"Where are we headed?" Instead of answering me, Emmett blasted a nightmarish Skinny Puppy song. He was banging out the beat on the steering wheel and hissing the lyrics.

_He's scary._ Despite the size and strength that coursed from him, I had never viewed Emmett as scary. He seemed like a devoted Labrador, but seeing this side of him reminded me that he was a predator as well.

He was driving upstate. I knew I had to take matters into my own hands, because Emmett didn't seem to be in a great mood to make decisions.

I opened the door to the Jeep while it was in full motion down the road, I hit the hard ground rolling and got to my feet as quickly as I could. In the distance I could see the familiar blue sign of a Wal-Mart. I began sprinting towards it. _My field trip could be there._

I saw the bouncy headlights and knew that Emmett was off-roading to pursue me. I almost made it to the weight-censored doormat when I was caught around the waist.

"Pita, what the hell are you doing? You can't jump out of the Jeep like a crazy person." I was relieved to hear him speak in his normal voice.

He had lifted me so my feet wouldn't touch the ground.

"I want to go to Wal-Mart." I tried kicking him to get myself down.

"What kind of brainless red neck are you?" He dropped me to my feet and grabbed me up in his special 'Pita neck grab'. He forced my head in his direction so I had to look at him.

"Emmett, Wal-Mart saves us money so we can live better. It's a fine establishment." I put my nose in the air as much as I could with my neck restraint.

"You're a ditz. Come on then." Emmett waltzed me into Wal-Mart, never letting go of my neck. We did the perimeter of the store in no time, though halfway through he punched a hole in the wall and ripped out a bunch of wire. I assumed it was the lines to the security cameras.

We were back in front of the Jeep again in under three minutes. Emmett was trying to stuff me into the passenger seat.

Without either of us saying a word, I started attacking him like a cat on its way to a full bath. I clawed at him and bit at his hands.

He dropped me and we both stood there glaring at each other. He tried again and I resumed my defensive maneuvering.

"Aggh! What do you want?!" He was screaming at me.

"I want to walk in that store like a person." I looked at him through one squinched eye.

He sighed with exasperation; he went to grab my neck again. I started slapping at his hand.

"Like a person Emmett. Hold my God damn hand, if you insist on touching me." He held out his huge hand.

"Give me your hoof Pita." I put my small hand in his. He promptly crushed my knuckles together. I began slapping his chest when an elderly couple spoke up.

They were on their way into the store. "Are you two kids newly weds?"

Emmett grabbed my hip and pulled me against him. "Yeah, we are just back from Vegas." I continued to glare at him.

He leaned over me and licked his lips, "Give me a little sugar, my dumpy little love muffin."

The cute couple gave a little chuckle and went on their way.

"Dumpy? No wonder Rosalie likes my dog better than you." I was poking a cobra with a stick now.

"I'm going to dangle you like bait off the penthouse balcony until your stupid stalker comes and takes your crazy ass away." I tried to swallow my smile, but failed.

"Let's go Pita." His voice was softer. As the doors slid open to admit us again, I got an idea to cheer him up.

"Hey Emmett, have you ever played Wal-Mart before?" His interested gold eyes sparkled.

Three hours later, we were still in Wal-Mart. The game I invented had turned into an all out festival of insanity. Officially, the rules were: find a list left over in a shopping cart, grab a cart and get those items, and lastly, to win, you had to find the other player and pelt them with whatever items you had in your cart.

We were pretty much tied, but that was because I had lucked out and found a list that only consisted of ten basketballs.

We had to avoid the other customers and the employees.

Because we were Emmet and Sasha, our game evolved to epic proportions, with Emmett tossing tractors at me.

To unwind we quickly changed all the lettered signs into curses or insults.

We found ourselves sitting on the top row of bicycles, watching a huge screen TV in Electronics.

"Thanks for this." Emmett seemed to be talking to the TV, but I knew he had figured out my angle.

_I couldn't fix what was wrong between him and Rosalie, but I could play with him. We could have fun_.

I nodded like I had seen Edward nod at the other men in the family.

"You did great tonight. Did you notice how close you are to the humans and you didn't eat any of them?" Hearing his praise, I found myself smiling at him. I lazily spun the wheel of the empty bicycle next to mine.

"We should get home, I want to see Pudge again." I hopped down to the tiled floor. Emmett landed silently next to me. "I hate that freaking dog."

"That won't last, Pudge has a way of getting everyone to love her, even someone with a heart as small as yours has a chance."

I found myself being strangled by a bra.

"Let go, you dung pile!" I tore through the fabric easily. "Now your sorry ass has to go up and buy this torn up boulder holder." I laughed at his discomfort.

He managed to get out of the embarrassment by dropping the bra on the customer service desk with a hundred dollar bill.


	30. So You Have One Alive

**A/N I had this written before Poughkeepsie. Thanks for reading. ~MTK**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Edward did not to hear what Jasper and Carlisle had to say about Sasha. His feet felt leaden. He knew Jasper had been investigating something regarding Sasha. This meeting in Carlisie's office could only mean Jazz found what he was looking for.

Edward figured it had been too easy. His nature was to expect the other shoe to drop. Sahsa's enthusiasm had infected him. Even waiting for Rick to turn back up and knowing her ghosts could return at any moment, she insisted on enjoying her day. Edward stared at the gently breathing Pudge and thought about his time with Sasha.

He had done the "Movie Date", where Alice helped him outfit the Penthouse to resemble a movie theater. They had even popped popcorn and created tickets. The popcorn was just for a scent ambiance. But it was gold to Sasha and She screamed in elation.

Edward played "The Princess Bride" on the Cullen' entertainment system. The rest of the evening Edward only replied "As you wish." to Sasha's requests. He could tell from her thoughts that she was tickled pink by his over the top play acting.

Listening to Sasha's mind was like opening a present you never expected to get. Her motto that she said and thought frequently was, "If your not having a good time, it's your own damn fault."

When Edward looked into her crystal blue eyes, the bottom fell out of his pessimism. Sasha was sweeping away years of doubt with her easy smile and quick laughter. Edward never imagined he could be with someone romantically. Hearing someone's thoughts during a kiss was not always pleasant. He found that women tended to think about their own perceived flaws and plotting their next move. But Sasha just felt. When Edward kissed Sasha she gave over to the sensory. Occasionally she would slip in words like "delicious" "heaven" and "mmm".

Edward made a point not to peek into Jazz's mind. _I am going to make them tell me with words. _

As Jazz stood up to shake Edward's hand, he revealed a horrendous outfit and layers of gold chains.

"Is the bad news that you are becoming a Pimp, Jasper?" Edward's light tone belayed the knot in his chest.

Jasper waved away Edward's comment and resumed his electronic detective work.

Carlisle and Edward sat in the chairs opposing Jasper.

"Son, Jasper has been hard at work researching Sasha's condition, for lack of a better term," Carlisle had his Doctor voice on. Edward took a dip in his mind out of habit.

_Perished. Fallen. Slain. Not Viable._

Edward looked at the tiles above his head, concentrating in the tiny dimples in the squares. _Please not Sasha._

"Edward, Aro has been looking for blue eyed vampires since about 1920. We are not sure why. We do know he was implicated in the famous take down of the mother and daughter.

"Aura and Cruor" Edward added helpfully.

"Yes, exactly. So we were pretty certain that the Volturi would not approve of any hints of vampires that could speak to ghosts. But Jasper has found out information to the contrary." Carlisle nodded in Jasper's direction, clearly encouraging Jasper to take over the narrative.

Jasper turned a set of tortured gold eyes on Edward.

"It appears Aro had a covert team of vampires looking specifically for blue-eyed vampires. I found one of the members of that group and questioned him." Jasper went silent, so Edward knew it was time to see for himself. Edward opened his mind and prepared for the mental punch that was sure to follow, judging from the tension in the room.

Edward was transported in Jasper's memory. The Pimp outfit was not at all out of place in the horrific place Jasper had walked into. The drafty building was obviously meant to be abandoned, but it was teaming with unfortunate souls. Some vampire, some human made their way around the drafty, crumbling building. Newspapers and cardboard converted to makeshift doors and walls.

After slipping money to one vampire and flashing a gun at a human, Jasper was lead deeper into the almost pitch black bowels of the building. An actual door was shown to Jasper and his tour guides hurried away.

Edward had to smirk as he watched Jazz kick the door off its hinges instead of knocking.

Jasper spotted the vampire he had come to see in the corner of the dark room. He was greasy, dirty, and wrapped in what looked like a thirty-five-year-old bed sheet.

"Well, Pimp, you just wrecked the last door in the whole God damn place." The old vampire's voice seemed rusted with disuse.

Jasper began sending out his calming vibes and testing the energy around him.

The old vampire was putting off only depression, no fear.

"Listen, you old, half-dead fart, tell me what I need to know and I'll put your crappy door back on." The vampire slithered into a semi standing position at Jasper's words.

"I don't know anything about anything. I'm sitting here waiting for the world to end, so you can kiss my withered ass, Pimp."

Jasper hit the old vampire with plenty of his juice, concentrating mostly on calm and chatty.

Quietly, and with respect, Jasper asked, "Please tell me about the blue-eyed vampires."

The change in the tone of Jasper's voice combined with his talent had the vampire sliding down the wall into his crouch.

"Well, isn't that something. I was just sitting here thinking about them. Oh wait. That's right. I never stop thinking about them." The sarcasm seeped into his confession, but Jasper kept at it.

"What happened to the blue eyed ones?" Jasper crouched down so even though he was across the dark room, he was eye level with the withered one.

"The ones with the blue eyes die. Every damn time we found one, they died. We would ride in and change them or get there after they changed. If they had blue eyes, we were charged with confiscating them and seeing if they were viable."

Jasper let the silence ask his questions for him. The torment in the room was a wonderful inquisitor.

"They were so powerful, for just a split second. But then their brains just melted. You could see it, you know? When the change happened, their eyes would go from blue to red. After the red, the damnedest thing would happen, the eyes would turn into mirrors and we could only see ourselves. We could only see ourselves." The withered vampire sent fear into the room and Jasper quickly absorbed it, retaliating with even more calm.

"You know, we changed some kids. Anybody that was rumored to speak to ghosts. What the hell did he want so bad? What the hell did I want so bad that I did what he requested? Isn't that a bitch? I don't even know."

Jasper needed confirmation, "Who sent you to find them?"

"Aro. I tell you what. Nothing he promised me and nothing he could do to me was worth what I saw. What those vampires became." Here the withered vampire began shaking his head violently.

Jasper stopped his recollection. Edward met his eyes, "Finish it, show me the rest." No need to be protected from the pain anymore.

The memory Jasper spoke up. "Hey, how long did they last?"

"Minutes, at most. The longest lasted an hour after she changed. She is why I sit in this room." He let out a humorless laugh. "That bitch started talking to the ghost of the last person I drained. That ghost promised he would wait for me. When I go, that ghost will be there. I won't be a vampire there. I'll be just like the rest of them. Just like the rest of them."

Jasper had to redirect the conversation, he could feel the anxiousness of the vampire in front of him reaching critical mass.

"Do you have any idea what would happen if one stayed alive?"

This question stimulated the old man, he started crawling towards Jasper with a wild look in his bright red eyes.

"You have one? You have alive one? I need it. I NEED IT!"

Jasper held back his revulsion as he saw the madness. "No of course not, you old fool, I just wanted to know who to milk if I changed a fortuneteller."

The old man scoffed. "If I had a live one, and it lived? I would be the most powerful vampire in the world. They would lay at my feet for a chance to talk to it. Don't you know how tempting the past is? To try and fix all you have done wrong?" He crawled backwards to his corner. "That's like believing in Santa Claus. A live one. They went so crazy before we killed them, it was like they weren't even thinking. Just teeth and mirrors. Teeth and mirrors."

Jasper could feel the man slipping back into his cocoon. He walked out of the forsaken building. Jasper's own anger consumed him as he went to a nearby gutted taxi and flipped it with frustration. Jasper pictured Edward and Sasha snuggled on the couch together looking into each other's eyes.

Edward pulled out of Jasper's mind.

Carlisle could sense that the mental narrative was over.

"Son, I'm so very sorry." The pity in his voice was all too evident.

Edward grabbed one of his hands with the other. He wanted to throw things, he wanted to cry, he wanted to make his mind turn off.

He looked up at these two men and felt his anger dissipate. The pain in their eyes was palpable. They loved her too.

"She's like an angel to me. Something I hoped existed, but feared would never come." Edward stood. He knew he should thank these men, try and make a plan, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He just wanted to make them understand where in his chest he was hurting.

"She's my Esme, She's my Alice. I need her." Edward left the room quietly.

Carlisle and Jasper had no words for each other. They both found themselves looking at the hiking picture on the desk, staring at the loves of their lives.


	31. Opposite Instinct Thank You!

Edward seemed determined to make the most of every moment. I had noticed a great urgency in his kisses and his touch. He had to reveal the catalyst behind his actions.

I had no idea when my ghosts would return and the peace in my head was getting addicting.

The night my ghosts returned, Alice had gathered the whole family and told them that thy needed to plan a risky outing to a local club.

Finally, the night in question arrived, after ingesting copious amounts of animal blood, I was full. I looked at the Cullens. In a group together they were so overwhelming. Like the perfection of a magazine cover, moving and talking. Each hair would fall in an attractive way. No snorting, sneezing or odd faces. I realized that I fit into this group, now. We were headed to a club to see if Alice was right. She saw us, as a group, getting information about Rick's whereabouts.

The Cullens were discussing their game plan, with Alice's eyes getting a far away look as she confirmed or denied suggestions.

What pressure she had, determining everyone's fate and decisions from all their possible choices.

_They rely too much on her, it must be draining_. I saw Edward nod.

He was traipsing through my thoughts like they were a field of poppies again.

He made a little skip and looked towards my face and gave me a wink.

I shook my head, but couldn't help but smile a little tiny bit. In the next moment he was holding my hand. As he took it he pushed me off balance with his hip.

"I'll stick close to Sasha, and make sure she doesn't kill anyone, and I'll keep her looking as human as I can." He hip checked me again.

He leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Remember, vampires stand too still, you need to fidget, but until your skill is perfected I'll be making you fidget tonight. I apologize in advance if anything I do to you to keep up the façade is not very gentlemanly. "

Alice spoke in her musical voice. "Ok, so far, as of this minute, we have Carlisle at the hospital, Esme and Rosalie protecting Karen and the rest of us looking for clues inside the club."

The little powwow was taking place in the club parking lot. We were surrounded by four amazing vehicles.

_So much for trying to look human. _

Carlisle walked close and handed me another bag of blood. I sucked on the IV tube like a straw. From the taste, it was bear. I tried not to picture Emmett wringing a dead bear's corpse like a soggy dishrag. Edward stepped slightly in front of me, so I had a bit of privacy.

_Thanks._

He squeezed my hand in reply.

I handed the empty bag to Dr. Cullen. He whipped out a small flashlight and checked my eyes again.

I knew my eyes intrigued him. He wanted to find out the reason that my bright blue eyes had refused to comply with the red blood crimson rule that vampire eyes adhered to.

Carlisle pulled out a dark pair of expensive sunglasses. "Wear these, they'll hide your eyes, but I'm pretty sure the humans will think that your eye color are contacts."

We separated. Alice had insisted on a Goth motif for our outfits. She looked insanely perfect, her dark, short hair in every direction. Leather pants poured onto her little frame complimented a billowy sheer shirt. Underneath was a beautiful lace camisole. She topped off the look with heavy make up, black nail polish, and beautiful black ballet slippers.

I looked at Edward. We had guessed at our outfits, neither of us had dressed this particular part before. We had over done it. We were both in matching leather vests, with low slung ripped up jeans. I had sculpted his hair into a faux hawk and added some guyliner. My hair was 80's huge. Edward went behind me with a can of hairspray and came out with half of it gone. I did my own make up, emphasizing my red lips to try and take away from my bright, glowing blue eyes.

Edward had ducked into a pet store on our way and bought a huge bag full of collars and chains. We took turns attaching things to belt loops and securing collars around our necks, arms, and wrists.

Rosalie had scoffed when she saw our creations. Edward leaned down and did a perfect imitation of a Rottweiler bark softly in my ear. It was time to go in.

"O.k." I felt nervous. Rightfully so. The whole family was treating me like a loaded gun. Or worse, an armed nuclear weapon.

Edward pulled me to him, moving me. After I fell against him I realized I had not blinked since we left the apartment. I blinked.

"It's about time." His soft voice never sounded harsh.

Emmett had apparently found an actual store that sold Goth products and had loaded up on fake piercings and tattoos. He looked more like a guy doing a life sentence in prison than a partygoer.

Alice fluttered up to the front of the line to speak to the giant sized bouncer. I looked at the name of the club. "**Fallen**" looked like a high priced New York Club. Judging from the scantily clad, freezing customer hopefuls in the long line, it was hard to get into.

If a human man could deny Alice anything, I don't think it has happened yet. She went to her tiptoes and planted a kiss on the bouncer's cheek. I watched his brain melt and settle in his pants.

_Poor Bastard._

Emmett helped open the door for us. Alice and Jasper went first. Emmett made gruesome faces at both of them. He waited for Edward and I. He licked his lips and winked at Edward, who mock punched him.

"You better back off, Charles Manson, cause my girlfriend can wrestle you to the ground and make you say uncle."

"Girlfriend?" One of Emmett's heavily studded eyebrows shot up.

We all sauntered into the club; I watched the reaction of the crowd. I understood Alice's decree of Goth clothing. The "difference" of our group seemed to be dismissed as part of our costume. We were vampires hiding in pain sight. We made our way to the side of the cement that was serving as a dance floor.

The pounding music was so loud, but I found I could hear everything through it. Scraping chairs, shouting voices, and cell phones vibrating. It was overwhelming and then the smells mingled with the sounds. Human smells, body odor, sweat smells combined with the sound it made sliding down spines.

But what undid me was the sound of the pulses. The gentle swoosh of blood through the veins. It spoke straight to a primal evil lodged in my brain like a tumor.

I saw a flash of Alice's beautiful pixie-like face just as I submitted to the need to inhale. I used my nose and my mouth to try and drink the air.

Every other girl in the club must have been instantly jealous as three gorgeous men pressed against my body, seeming intent on touching me.

Edward heard my thoughts and combined the situation with Alice's warning of me becoming exactly what they all feared.

Edward snaked his arms through mine from behind and locked his elbows as effectively as a pair of handcuffs. Emmett came up from behind us and slipped his arm around my waist, standing a little off to the side to allow Jasper some room to work his magic.

Last, but the most effective was handsome, scarred Jasper. He put his hands on my face. He began whispering soothing words like a snake tamer.

I stared into his golden eyes for all I was worth.

Calm started with my eyes and tickled all the way through my body.

"Dance" Edward said, and we all obeyed. To our human observers, we looked like a very risqué bunch of friends. All the while, the men never let go of me.

Alice appeared and handed me a beer bottle.

"I put extra blood in this for you, drink, you will not kill a human tonight, I promise. "

I took a swig. I made a face.

_Where ever Alice had scrounged up this blood? It tasted like asphalt, trash and ass. _

Edward made a tiny little rat noise in my ear.

_Uh. Yuck. _

I was full up on blood. It was like trying to eat another meal after Thanksgiving dinner. Alice gave me a stern look and I downed it.

"She's good, you can let her go." Edward changed his grip so he was holding my shoulders. Emmett stepped back and folded his massive arms in front of him. Jasper slid his hands from my face to my hand, clasping one in both of his.

I did not want to let go of Jasper, he was the only thing that had kept me from going all rabid vampire on these poor souls.

"You're controlling you. Jasper just helps you center what is already in you." I heard Edwards' golden voice behind my ear, giving me a shot of pleasure.

Jasper nodded at Edward's words, "I'm here if you need an alignment." As he released my hand, I realized that he was the key to Alice's bubbly personality. Seeing the future would drive anyone crazy, but with Jasper, nothing she would see would end her sanity. He had such a great gift, and used it to soothe the Soothsayer.

I turned to face Edward, ashamed of how close and how quick I was to becoming a monster. I saw nothing but understanding in his eyes.

"We have all been there, we're proud of you. Bringing a newborn vampire to a club full of humans is an impossible task. If it wasn't for Alice's insistence and reassurances, you would not be here."

A slow song erupted from the sound system.

Nat King Cole's liquid voice cooled the temperature of the club. "Unforgettable, that's what you are.."

Edward pulled me into a simple waltz step. Having had just a few dance lessons, I knew I was outclassed, but he was an amazing leader and this vampire body was so receptive to direction.

Edward pushed my sunglasses on top of my head.

"I want to see your eyes." I thought it was a medical check until I saw the intensity of his gaze.

He twirled and dipped me effortlessly.

In a twisted vampire way, this was a date. Sure, he and his family may have to rip my head off and light me on fire, but until then, I was going to enjoy the dance.

"Unforgettable in every way

And forever more, that's how you'll stay

That's why, darling, it's incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too"

He had begun singing softly to me along with Nat.

"You're trying to distract me from all these tasty vitals around us."

He stopped moving me altogether. He gently put one hand behind my head and lifted my chin with the other.

"There is only you in this room." He placed his soft lips on mine.

When he started to kiss me, I was intoxicated. The combination of the taste of his lips and the smell of his skin reminded me of something.

_Home. Here, with him I was home_.

I hugged him so quickly, he had to try and slow my movements to make me less of a vampire. He turned our hug back into dancing.

I leaned up to look back at his face. All at once I couldn't take it. I needed Edward to be Edward again. As Nat poured his velvet voice over us, I reached up and ruined the fauxhawk. His messy hair returning to its normal carefree style. I snapped off all the collars and chains and dropped them on the floor. He looked at me with an interested smile, but let me continue my mini make under. I kissed his nose as I wiped away his guyliner, just a little bit next to the lashes was left when I was done. He twirled me and dipped me again. Nat's song was taking shape for us.

As we danced close to a table, I grabbed a white shirt that some guy had left on the back of his chair. I pulled it over his arms, stealing little kisses when I leaned close.

I gently let my fingernails graze his stomach as I worked the buttons of his ridiculous vest open.

"How are you going to manage this? You already put the shirt on me." His smile was daring me.

I reached to the sides and ripped the vest apart. I let it drop, shredded on the cement floor.

_There. That's better. I love you just the way you are._

The thought tripped on the tongue of my mind.

_Oh. God. Did I just think love?_

"I am thinking love, too." Heaven. Maybe I am totally dead and he is my heaven.

A dream.

His strong arms locked around me. I felt like I could look in his eyes forever, right here, in this stinky human club, and never have another need in the world.

It's funny how quick dreams can turn to nightmares.

Everything occurred at once. The song ended. The entire club tripled in its population and Alice's body went ridged in the middle of her dip from Jasper.

I looked out on the crowd. I recognized the instant people as spirits, for my eyes only. I had never in my human life had so many coming at me at once. They were all in varying degrees of transparency and panic.

Edward looked focused and seemed to be reading Alice's mind, and any other mind that might have danger in store.

"I need to get some distance from you, I can't hear with all your spirits." Edward looked so frazzled and torn. Emmett stood close next to me and took my hand.

"Hey, bro, I got her." Emmett pushed Edward away.

Edward made his way over to Jasper and Alice, who seemed to be coming out of her trance.

It took me a second to realize I had a job to do.

I whispered, "Come to me." And all the spirits drifted right in front of me and began talking all at once. "Fire, help, my son's here, get out, don't you leave without my granddaughter!"

"Silence!" I gave them all a hushed whisper. I pointed to one of the less panicked spirits, an older gentleman. "What is going on?"

His voice was dignified and heavily accented with England. "There are men setting fire to this building, and possibly rigging a bomb. They are very fast. Not human."

I though this information for Edward and whispered it to Emmett. I saw his mind starting to assess the exits.

I looked back to the spirits. I saw in the group a girl I knew in High School. She had died tragically in a boating accident soon after graduation.

She got straight to the point. "Karen's in the arms of a monster, and he's coming here."

I looked towards Edward. How he comprehended all of this at once, I did not know. Or if he even was. I wished I knew what Alice was seeing.

Jasper was on a cell phone speaking in vampire rapid.

He came straight to me and looked in my eyes, sparing me a moment with his warning, "Do the unexpected. Newborns are always easy to predict, so whatever you want to do, do the opposite."

I watched as he pocketed the phone the cell phone screen clearly showed that he had phoned Carlisle. He faced the crowded room and sent waves of calm out. I imagined he was using the strength he usually reserved for Alice to prepare the room for a disaster.

Alice and Edward started to herd people out of the exits. Emmett looked over his shoulder and put his fist through the glass protecting the fire alarm on the wall, he pulled it and the lights in the club turned on. The music was blasting, so none of the humans heard the sirens alerting them to danger. Smoke started creeping in through air vents and doorframes.

_This whole place was about to blow. _

I looked towards Emmett. "We have to help them"

Emmett looked down at me. "Sweetheart, you'll kill more than you'll save, letting you loose in here is a whole 'nother disaster."

He looked so strained. I could tell he wanted to help. That he _could_ help, I was holding him back.

"Fine, listen, I'll get myself out and run all the way to the apartment. Carlisle has blood there for me. You need to help them. You can save so many." I tried my best to keep an even voice. I knew I was borrowing from Jasper when I sounded so reasonable. I also did not think I was lying. I was really going to do just that.

"Alright, go, run through walls if you have to." Decision made he leaped away from me and punched a hole in a nearby wall.

I turned to do the same when a face stopped me, a smiling face amid all the chaos. In my peripheral vision I could see Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward carrying humans out the holes they had created through doors and windows. They had such courage and restraint, with blood all around them. I was so proud of them.

But straight in front of me was Rick. Smiling from ear to ear like a new father. I dropped my gaze to his arms. He held a seemingly-dead Karen effortlessly. As I watched, he captured one of her fingers and broke it. She came alive with screaming and kicking. When she looked in his red eyes, she fainted.

What had he done so far to make her faint just for seeing him?

He mouthed, "Tag, you're it" and bounded up to the second floor balcony, he kicked out a window, and was gone with her.

_This is a trick._

All these people in danger and these glorious, brave vampires working feverously just so Rick could taunt me with the life of my best friend.

I knew it was a trap, but I leapt after him, not even trying to act human anymore. I heard an exclaimed, "Holy Shit" and I knew I looked like I was flying, not jumping.

I didn't care, I went out the window Rick had kicked out moments before. I stood out on a fire escape and looked around me with all my heightened senses.

_How in crap's sake was I going to follow this monster, this tracker? _

As I stood on the fire escape, I saw Emmett run out into the alley all Die Hard style, holding what looked to be two bombs. He dropped them in the club's dumpster. Then he stood there looking at it and then looking around.

I'm sure we were both wondering what the hell he was going to do with the dumpster.

He looked up. I waved.

"Maybe, bury it!" I said out loud.

No need to shout, he could hear me just fine. He nodded and I gave him a lame thumbs up. As I was staring through the slats in the fire escape landing at him when my focus changed from the now digging Emmett to the little drop of what looked like blood at my foot. I wiped my finger on it and tasted it.

_Karen. How do I know it's hers?_

It tasted just like her, fun, happiness, and laughter. Fresh and clean. I followed the trail with my eyes.

Up.

The rooftop.

Again.

I jumped, leaped, and grabbed. Her blood trail was getting alarmingly larger, I hopped the buildings like stepping stones.

This bastard was full up on crazy.

The trail stopped near a huge air conditioning vent atop what appeared to be a bank.

I waited.

I wasn't following someone. I was being lead.

Rick started laughing. I turned my head and took in the sight of him, leaning casually against the brick wall that protected the staircase into the building.

"You took so long, I was getting bored. This whole scene is pathetic. It's a shame that it's so easy to punk eight vampires. I didn't even try hard. You're all honestly effecting my buzz."

His long brown hair was loose. The black trench coat hung open to showcase shirtless rippled torso. His jeans had a thick leather belt with a skull and crossbones buckle. He had well-worn, black combat boots on his feet.

I'm sure one look at him would disintegrate the panties right off a woman until they saw his eyes.

The eyes were all wrong. Despite the ridiculous color that marked him as poison like a tree frog, you could tell that they had never housed compassion. Not once had his eyes sought anything but his own twisted pleasure.

My vampire experience was extremely limited, but I had a feeling the one nudging my unconscious friend with his boot was outside of the bell curve of evil.

Karen's arm had a huge laceration. The trail maker. She was a useless pawn to him. The rage that filled me was so intense I almost staggered. Almost.

"Are all your soft vamp friends saving humans? Isn't that cute. It's like buying ice for the fridge when the power goes out. They're all warm puppies and rainbows, aren't they?" His words were deep and seductive.

This was his pleasure, the mental torment. Any pain was a cherry on his ice cream.

"Oh, yeah, they're the wimps. Your pansy ass had to light a crap load of fires and hide bombs just to get past them." I was thankful for the vampire venom in me that kept me standing straight and sounding calm.

Karen moaned.

Rick looked down at her a glanced back up at me, flirty with anticipation.

"You may be slow, but you have a sharp tongue." He smiled as he held a foot above Karen's neck.

"Let her be." I said it quietly, but my threat was injected in every word.

"You want to save her. Aww." He said it like he was talking to a baby that crapped its pants.

"Then save her!" He shouted and kicked her body towards me at the same time.

I reacted out of instinct and caught her. I heard an awful cracking sound as she landed against my rock hard body. Like Lennie and the mouse, I couldn't be gentle enough if I tried.

I looked at her to see if she was injured.

The simple brilliance of his action hit me.

I was the most dangerous thing to Karen on this rooftop. The human thoughts of all our happy memories together took the fast train out of town.

His voice was all around me, honey and knives.

"She'll taste so good. See that part of her neck?"

I couldn't look anywhere but at her neck.

"The young ones, they have a snap to the skin that curls you toes. The blood comes so fast, you have to suck hard to make sure you don't spill a drop."

Spilling a drop seemed sacrilegious right about now.

"If you lick her neck first, you can taste just a hint of salt."

I didn't want to crush her, so I held my body very still. I tried to tell myself it was because I didn't want to hurt her. But he knew different. He could talk right to the evil he had introduced to my bloodstream.

"I'll wake her for you, darling. You can watch as the life drains from her eyes. And she'll scream so loud, when she thinks you're here to save her, and then she sees, that no, you won't save her."

The venom was pooling in my mouth as he was speaking for me.

He was in both my ears preaching to the choir of one that was huddled at his feet.

I was mesmerized by the blue pulsating vein in her neck. I opened my mouth. I was long beyond reason. A small drop of venom escaped my bottom lip and came to land on the delicate spot I was staring at. It began to smoke and turn an awful reddish black.

Karen's eye snapped open and took me in. The pain of the venom was intense; I could feel her whole body wreathing with it, trying to get away.

"Sasha?!" Disbelief and pain.

"Doesn't that feel good, baby?" He was purring in my ear.

"_You will not kill a human tonight, I promise."_ Alice's words came through the thick fog of need_. _

_How could she have been so wrong? _

I felt the hit to my back and reacted from a part of my brain that wanted to protect my prey. I curled my body around Karen and was pushed into a violent summersault.

I was getting ready to bound away with her when I was backhanded. The force was like a getting hit by a mountain.

Edward took my moment of surprise to steal my friend from me. He was holding her and watching me.

It was obvious that Edward had bitch slapped Rick off the side of the building.

Edward smiled at my thought, trying to bring reason back to me. I felt like a shark being asked to perform a piano recital in the middle of a blood bath frenzy.

_Get her out of here. Keep her safe. Don't let me kill my best friend. Please. _

He looked down at Karen who again passed out.

_Blood loss? Fright? _

"Stay alive. Do what ever you have to. Stay alive." His whisper was so urgent. I nodded and he was gone.

I heard the landing behind me. Immediately Rick had me in a headlock. His anger almost had a smell.

His forearm felt like a thick log.

"Bitch. That God damn bastard has pissed me off too many times." Rolling fury was coming off his whole hard body.

"Well, if you would quit getting beat like the red-headed step child, maybe you wouldn't be such a looser." I was proud I had gotten the last part of my insult out of my mouth before he kicked me so hard in the back I couldn't talk anymore. I slid across the roof and landed against the metal air conditioner with a huge bang. A me-sized dent was now a part of the rooftop ambience.

He was leaping through the air before I could scurry to my feet.

He lay right on top of me, holding my arms above my head.

His mouth twisted into an evil grin. Then his face slid into a more confused, thoughtful look.

Jasper's words floated into my head.

"_Do the unexpected. Newborns are always easy to predict, so whatever you want to do, do the opposite" _

_What was my instinct?_

My instinct was to knee his balls so hard they popped out of the top of his head like reindeer antlers.

_What was the opposite?_

I fluttered my eyelashes and tried to smile.

"Why are your eyes blue?" He was curious and wanted to know.

_Instinct? _

After installing his brand new antlers, I also didn't want to tell him why my eyes were blue.

_The opposite? _

I told him, "We think it's because I can talk to ghosts."

He readjusted his grip to hold my wrists with one hand. He touched my face with his other hand.

_Instinct? _

Bite his fingers off and spit them into his evil mouth.

_The opposite? _

I smiled at him like he was my prom date.

"I think that is complete bullshit. Interesting bullshit. But bullshit."

"You have such a way with words, you're like Shakespeare."

_Oops. That was instinct._

"There's that sharp tongue. Maybe you could give me a little kiss with it?" He licked his lips. He smelled like old glue.

_Instinct?_

Fling him off of me and into Brooklyn.

_Opposite?_

Nope. Sorry Jasper, that just wasn't happening.

"I'll prove it, get off of me." I tried to not sound anxious about it.

I knew I failed when he said, "I think I'm comfy right here, Princess. Prove it to me from beneath me, where you belong."

"Rick's mom, come to me" He watched me like I was a freak in a circus.

Thankfully, the vampire in me called so powerfully that even the reluctant ghosts had to come.

A haggard, sad looking woman was standing above us. She looked confused for a moment, and then spotting the rear end of her son, she set her face in a hard way.

"What do you want to know?" I tried to sound professional. He was shifting more than necessary for a vampire, so the words were harsh.

"Um. Let me see. Ask her what her favorite nickname for me was." He was smiling at me again. He obviously thought it was all a joke.

I looked to his mother.

"Asshole." She said it with a raspy smoker's voice. I waited a beat, thinking she was insulting me. "That's it. I called him 'Asshole'. Because he is one." She threw up her hands.

I started laughing. Rick tilted his head and smiled along with me.

"Come on, John Edward, tell me what ol' mom had to say." He raised his eyebrows in expectation.

"Turns out your mother has the same nick name for you that I do. 'Asshole'." Rick used his hands to push himself off of me and stand above me.

"That's real cute. Funny. Really. Almost a shame to kill you _again_ with that funny god damn personality."

Despite his words I knew the nickname hurt.

"That's quite a relationship you had with your mom." I was able to sit up and cross my legs. I felt the aches healing. The injuries from Edward gave me courage. I knew he had been here.

Rick's mom opened a floodgate of words.

"Please. Calling him an asshole is being nice. That boy was pure evil since the day I had his baby brother. He didn't want to share. I would catch him trying to smother his brother. All the pets in the neighborhood wound up dead in my back yard. And Lord help me when he was old enough to beat me! The happiest day in my life was when he left my house. Stayed until he was twenty-three. All he did all day was work out in the basement and shine his hunting guns. It was flat out creepy."

Rick, said wacko, was standing almost inside the image I was seeing of his mother.

I translated from one dead person to the other.

"Your mom said you were a sick, animal killing nightmare. The happiest day in her life was when your cowardly woman beating ass left town." I tried to be matter a fact about delivering the information, but it was quite delightful. I stood.

I thought his rage might pop his head right off his neck.

Rick's mom was still talking at me. "And I always hated that long hair, reminded my of his Aunt Edna. Not a pretty lady, mind you. "

"And you mother says your ugly." I delivered the last verbal blow with a little tap dance and jazz hands. Which, in hindsight was probably like waving a red flag at a bull.

Rick ran straight through his own mother and headed full out at me.

_Instinct?_

Run like I was on fire.

_Opposite?_

Stand and wait for him to hit me.

I was liking Jasper's advice less and less.

But Edward made dying worth living for so I took the hit as his shoulder smacked into my stomach.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N Drink You Alive fans are the most hardcore readers in the world. I had this chapter stuck in my melted hard drive and I was finally able to recover it. Thank you so much for reading it. I think there are two people and my mom that have it on their reading list! I love you guys. Sasha is proud you all keep her alive. **


	32. Red and Mirrors

Taking a beating should be easier as a vampire, but as it turns out, it hurts. I had never really taken a beating before and I didn't like it. Rick was faster and had plenty more experience doling out pain.

When I was curled in a ball, he took a small break to laugh, which pissed me off.

"Well, Ghost Whisperer, I'm thinking twice about ripping your god damn head off." Rick squatted so he could look me in the eyes.

"Lucky me." I tried to sit up, the mixture of rapid healing and new pain was giving me a head rush.

My ghosts were back. Now that I had opened the door for them, whatever had triggered it, they were crawling from everywhere. Through the door to the stairs, over the top of the rooftop retaining wall, even dropping from above like spiders they converged on me. I could hear every voice so vampire clear. It was overwhelming. I tried to block them out and pay attention to staying alive. I couldn't even hear Rick's newest threats and I was having trouble seeing him past the transparency of the urgent souls.

I put my hands in my hair and tried to quiet my brain from the outside. I was not successful.

Finally I spoke to them, "Listen, all of you, if he kills me? None of you will be heard. So back up and quiet down."

A large bunch respectfully took a step backwards, the more forceful used that time to come to the forefront and speak louder.

I focused all my attention on Rick.

"What's wrong with your eyes? Are they turning red?" He wondered out loud.

I didn't even try to stop him when he grabbed me by my throat, I was too busy trying to get my brain out of my head.

Emmett landed on the rooftop like a monster. There wasn't even a human noise coming from his mouth, it was all hisses and growls. Rick saw the punch too late. Emmett had a reputation as a fighter for a reason. He never stopped, the pounding he provided was relentless.

I wanted to help him but I just couldn't see. There was an older woman inches from my nose shrieking about her daughter over and over.

As the ghosts' voices got louder mine got quieter, seeking some sort of internal balance, "Please. Stop. Please."

Rick had shaken himself from his Emmett induced stupor and was fighting back. I knew it from the vibrations of impact surging through the rooftop, I had closed my eyes in an effort to maintain my sanity.

A soft hand touched my face and I startled.

Edward's concerned, beautiful face seemed like a dream, he was surrounded by my ghosts.

I thought to him. _Oh, thank heavens it's you. I thought they could touch me._

His face looked resolved and determined. "Did you have human blood?"

I wanted to answer him, really I did, but a set of twin boys had captured my attention. They kept talking about trains, and their voices were so hard to ignore.

Edward whispered in my ear, "Did you try telling them too go away?"

I nodded. I had to take deep breaths. It felt like my brain was being squeezed.

_Too much information_.

"Emmett, Are you okay?" Edward asked his brother.

I started seeing the red in my eyes as well. I tried to focus on Edward but it was like food coloring was being introduced to the whole world.

Edward's eyes found mine and he cringed.

_When your eyes are red, do you see in red too?_ I thought to him.

I hated how his perfect, pale skin was getting dipped in crimson like an Easter egg.

He didn't answer and lifted me easily. I curled into his chest and tried to pretend he could protect me from the ravenous ghosts, because Emmett was schooling Rick at the moment.

_Karen?_

Edward bounded across the building tops easily, but I had to keep my eyes closed. Everything was creamy red inside my lids as well.

"She's safe and going to be fine. Rosalie and Esme are guarding her. And we know where Rick is. Please try and relax." There was an edge to his tone, an urgency.

I could smell the singed wood and melted building parts. We were close to the scene of the crime. I opened my eyes to try and see if the humans were okay.

"They are all out of the building. Please, didn't I say to try and be calm?" Edward set me down on my feet. Vampires are fast but even Edward wasn't fast enough to shake the spirits. They climbed up my back. And invaded my essence like seeping water.

I stumbled with the weight of the ghosts' whispers on my psyche. Edward pulled me closer to him. Soon I not only wanted to be more calm, but I actually was.

_Jasper._

God, I need him so much. As I felt his arms surround me in a hug the knots and concerns started sheeting off of me like rain.

My spine and neck had been so tense. The ghosts were stepping away, melting into the night like cotton candy in the heat.

Edward's sweet caress on my lower back let me know he was relieved at the change. I had to see him, so I turned my head to lay my cheek on Jasper's chest. I could only see red at first. Like a nightmare, like a horror show. Then with a tight squeeze from Jasper, a flash of white eclipsed my vision, after a quick blink, the tableau was normal, heightened, of course, but the colors were perfection.

Edward's smile was so relieved, he gathered me from Jasper and felt the relaxation he had been begging for me to have on the rooftop. Alice gave a quick nod to her love and sprinted off in the direction of Rick and Emmett's epic battle. Carlisle appeared to touch his sons' on the shoulders.

His harsh words for Edward made no sense, "Son, I respect you and your choices, but you need to tell her."

Edward tensed as he received even more pointed thoughts from his father. As soon as Carlisle's point was made, he followed the same path Alice had taken to provide Emmett with even more back up.

_Jasper?_

Belatedly, I looked for my healer. He was sitting on a nearby bench and his hand was shaking.

Edward spoke quietly to me as I made my way to Jasper's side, "He will be okay, settling you took all his power."

I sat next to Jasper and set a hand on his shoulder, "I am so sorry. You shouldn't have done that. Look at you."

Alarmingly, Jasper looked even paler than normal.

"I couldn't let you face that on your own, not when you needed help." Even his voice was softer.

_But he needs to be on point for Alice, to keep her well. Edward what the hell is going on here? What did Carlisle want you to tell me? _

Edward looked at the sky and sighed. Jasper's hand had settled down, so we all headed for the huge SUV in the parking lot. Jasper passing the keys to Edward worried me. Edward leaving his expensive sports car worried me. The fact that we hadn't followed to fight Rick worried me.

I climbed into the back seat after helping Jasper into the passenger side.

Edward answered my thoughts, "The rest of the family is headed to the Penthouse. Rick has proved to be slippery once again. And honestly, we all just need to regroup."

The return trip to the Penthouse was quiet, once Edward had explained. Jasper was looking better the closer we got to Alice.

Pudge gave me a ridiculous welcome, like I had been gone for days. I got on my knees and flopped her ears to cover her eyes. She woofled at me. Her fur was soothing to me as well and I stayed on the floor to pet her soft belly.

The Cullens were a tight clan, in this time of weirdness and danger, it was even more obvious as they effortlessly stayed in tune to Alice's gift and spoke to Edward in their minds.

Emmett came to sit next to me, under the guise of petting Pudge as well. The dog was in her glory and her silly tongue lolled from side to side as she accepted the love.

He was quiet in his apology, "Pita, I didn't kill him. Once Alice got there I had to make sure she got home to Jasper."

I was quiet in my agreement, "I wouldn't want it any other way. Thanks. Rick was about to pop my head off like a dandelion."

I saw Edward shake his head with his anger. I smiled at him to try and reassure him.

Emmett refused to let the seriousness remain, "Oh I didn't know he was going all Extreme Make over on your ass. Popping your ugly mug off would have been an improvement."

I punched him lightly in the arm and stood up. Pudge stayed on her back and watched the world from upside down.

The conversation between Carlisle and Edward was as tense as it could be being that it was taking place mostly in Carlisle' mind.

Finally gave his father a small headshake. Alice looked at Edward and smiled, which I always assumed meant the future was good, but she was a smiley vampire to begin with.

Edward held out his hand and I took it, we left the apartment without saying good-bye. I left him in peace and tried to keep my thoughts to myself as we made our way to the rooftop.

Finally it was just the stars and us. He put his hand through his hair. By the time he looked at me I was braced for bad news.

"We researched blue eyed vampires. Jasper was able to find out more current information." He stopped and centered himself in this moment, this thing he was dreading. He took my hands and looked at my shoes.

_Look at me. Whatever it is, we'll handle it together._

His golden eyes made my knees weak, again, as always. He leaned down for a kiss, which I happily accepted. He sighed again.

_Just spit it out, Handsome._

"Jasper spoke to an older vampire, he was among the task force to try and capture a blue eyed vamp." Again he waited, listening to my mind jump to conclusions.

_Well, obviously, if I am putting the family in danger, I can't let that happen._

"They were never able to keep one. Sasha, they couldn't capture one because they died. Their eyes go from blue to red to mirrors. Then they become something else."

If I had expected anything, it sure as hell wasn't this.

I reeled while he rushed in with more words, "Please, you're already so different. The one that lived the longest only lasted an hour. You're outside of that by months. It won't happen to you. Not to you." Edward hugged me hard, seeming to reassure himself that I was still there.

_But my eyes went red tonight. I saw my ghosts tonight._

"We fixed that. Jasper fixed you almost immediately. We have a cure. No one else had a cure." His hands were everywhere, feeling, trying to heal.

I reached up to touch his face. "Edward, how long have you known this?"

"A while." He leaned his face against my hand.

"I'm so sorry you had this burden by yourself. Let me guess, protecting me?" I asked.

He nodded and turned his head so he could kiss my palm.

I spoke instead of thinking this time, "I promise you right now, right here. I'll fight this so very hard. I want to be in your forever. For all time. You'll be sick of me, I'll hang on so tight." Then I needed to communicate in a more secret way.

_Believe me. With all my heart I'll fight for us._

Edward sank to his knees. Maybe it was the release of such poisonous information. Maybe he had expected me to crumble in front of him. But I wouldn't go to pieces. Not here. Not now. I hugged his face to my stomach, running my hand through his messy hair.

Finally, I joined Edward on my knees and we looked into each others' eyes for the longest time. If we still had the outlet of tears, they would have been shed, but we were denied their pleasure, and our torment would remain inside.

Edward finally broke the silence, "Just before we came up here, Alice was getting a vision. I wasn't sure where it was leading, but now, listening to her I hear hope. There's an older gentleman in our future that may be of assistance with your eyes. I need to go talk to her and Carlisle."

He stood and offered his hand. "Come with me."

I took it and stared beyond him at the stars.

_Do you think I could stay out here for a bit? The stars are really amazing._

Edward dialed his cell phone and almost instantly Emmett was stepping onto the rooftop.

Of course, I couldn't be left alone. If Rick came back, if my eyes decided to change.

Edward kissed me once more and closed the roof top door behind him as he left. Emmett was too quiet as well. He stood silently next to me.

We watched as the SUV containing Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Edward left in a hurry to somewhere in the city that held the future Alice had seen.

"Have you known this whole time?" I felt betrayed more by him. Emmett should have told me.

"No, Pita. Carlisle just told me about the mirror eyes. I wish I could fix it for you." He put one hand on my shoulder.

No teasing, no playing. Emmett's demeanor of mourning made it so much worse. I turned into him and he quickly embraced me, patting my back and shushing as I tried to make the right noises to cry. It was pathetic, trying to recapture some vulnerability from my human days. With no tears to dry, eventually I quieted down.

"Tell me what I can do for you." Emmett looked closely in the eyes.

If he looking for me or my eye color, I couldn't tell.

"Here's what I know for sure. I can't let Jasper take a beating like that again for me. It tore him up to stop my red eyes," I said it with conviction.

Edward would have placated me, begged me even, and I loved him for it. Emmett just took the information as a fact.

I continued, "I don't know how long I have, but I'll be damned if I leave this life knowing that Rick the Bastard is stalking my family. I want him dead. And I want to kill him." I clenched my fists.

Emmett shrugged, "Now that? I can do for you. You ready, Pita? Let's go light up an asshole."

He put his arm around my shoulder. I wanted to soften the mood, I wanted to play with Emmett again. Be normal, or as normal as I could be.

"I sincerely hope the asshole you want to light up is Rick, because I'm not into freaky stuff." I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he smiled.

"Sasha, you and I are about to be in so much trouble. You don't have to worry about your eyes, the family will kill us both first." Emmett and I began to run, getting to the extensive collection of cars and choosing a fast one. As he tore out of the parking garage, I tried not to think of red or of mirrors. I tried to think about taking control and not hiding anymore.

It felt good.

***!*$**!*&!^%#$#^$*#*(((!%T%#!**

**A/N To say I am grateful to the readers of this story is an understatement. This is the first time I have written new material (to me) for DYA in the longest time. And it was wonderful. I will tell you what I now know. Has it been over a year and a half? Time does fly. But to the readers of this story, my first baby, I now know what mavericks you are. No one reads Edward without Bella. But you guys do, that you come with me on this journey just humbles me. I do promise to put DYA in my regular rotation of updating and I am totally excited to bring this plot full circle. I value each of you tremendously. So my sincerest thanks again, ~MTK**


	33. Weapons

As we pulled into a storage facility and Emmett pressed the access code for the gate, I pulled myself out of my internal conflicts. "Rick is here? Does he lock himself up?"

"No, Pita. I never go to battle without an arsenal." He parked next to a garage door. "Come on, this stuff is so freaking old, but it's the closest stash we have."

I helped as Emmett tossed various weapons to me. Stashing them in the backseat and then moving to the trunk, I only recognized some of the deadly metal. A flamethrower was the last thing I stowed. Emmett nodded and hopped in the passenger seat. He was busy loading, checking and feeling all his new toys, so I drove.

"Where am I headed, Batman?" I turned the car towards the main road. "I mean, have you known where Rick is this whole time?"

He still had not given me any direction. "No, I have not a clue what crack that coward hides in." He stopped his busy work to look me in the eye. "But Rick knows where you are, of that I'm sure."

I clicked my tongue. "You smart beast. I'm bait. Edward would have never agreed to this."

"And we'll turn right back around if you have even one second thought." He was so serious.

"No, tonight it ends. I'm through running. It's time to start chasing." I clenched my hands on the steering wheel. The cracking noise reminded me not to use all my strength.

Emmett accepted the plan or the lack of one. "Drive somewhere open, like a park or a field."

I found a little league baseball field and put the car in park. Emmett spared a moment to give me some direction. "I'm going to stash these weapons around, then hide. You need to be out in the open. Engage him when he gets here, keep him talking. Try and maintain distance as best you can, so I'll have room to work. Be tough, Pita. I know you can do this."

And then he was gone with an armful of metal. I thought about carrying a gun, but I knew it would be useless. All of Rick's nefarious experiences probably made him a gun expert and I had very little contact with any weapons in either of my lives.

I gathered my courage and found there was very little to try and grasp. I was scared. Scared of failing.

_Dear God if this beast is turned loose on the people I love then all of this would be for nothing._

I left the headlights on, two perfect bits of moonlight slicing across the well-manicured field. It was a bad choice, this place. What would we do here tonight? What would the kids find when they showed up to play their favorite game tomorrow morning. A brief flash of body parts and sizzling flesh danced through my imagination. As I slammed the car door behind me, I realized I was making purposeful noise.

_Bring it, Freakshow._

I walked straight to the pitcher's mound and stood proud. The headlights were needless spotlights. Rick didn't need illumination to see me. I was hoping it might help Emmett, a bit. Maybe it would let Edward know where I died, if this all went wrong.

A light breeze moved my hair, I brushed it away from my face. The stars were clear again. The big dipper was witnessing yet another night unflinchingly. This sky had been audience to so much beauty and pain, humanity was nothing if not a dichotomy of experiences.

I tried not to startle as my throat was grabbed roughly from behind.

"Rick." I felt a shiver run from my neck, where his lips were murmuring my name, all the way down my spine. My chill culminated with his other hand sliding around my waist.

I turned my face slightly towards his, the leather of his jacket was squeaking now that he was not trying for stealth.

"Sasha, were you waiting for me? What an honor. What brought this on?" His hair tumbled together with her own, cascading over her shoulder.

_Distance, I need distance._

"I wanted to make sure you weren't a nightmare. And I've been thinking about your offer." Lying to him felt good, no, great even.

"I highly doubt that, lovely lady. You have those vampires jumping when you tell them how high. What can I offer you?" His narcissistic center forced him to turn her, so she could behold him.

Rick was almost vibrating with excitement. He was like a large cat posed before a busy, unaware mouse.

In the spin, I stepped backwards, putting a bit of room between us. He insisted on holding my throat still, but at least his other hand was off my skin.

"I'm dying. These eyes that you so desire? They're going to kill me, melt my brain, somehow. The vampires that follow me have no idea how to save me. But you might. You see, they're good and I might need a little evil to save my life." It sounded good, right even. I knew it was a lie, right?

_I'm not afraid to go to the other side. _

And yet there was a fear. A tiny one that reared its head as I thought about how angry some of the spirits who had come through were at the club.

"Princess, what are you telling me? You want to dip into the dark side to save your own hide?" Rick's red eyes were sparkling in the false hope from the headlights.

"I'm saying that there's nothing anyone can do, unless they're willing to look in some pretty crappy places. And I sure that 'Crappy' is your middle name." I swatted at his ridiculous hand. I was pretty sure the connection to my neck was the one thing that was keeping Emmett from his assault, but I didn't dare try and find him with my eyes.

Rick released me and smiled. "Now that I can believe, we can…"

Rick disappeared like magic. The noise of the Rocket propelled grenade launcher reached my ears after the image the impact the weapon had inflicted had been seared in my mind.

Emmett landed softly next to me and handed me the flamethrower. The silver sword he hefted reflected like a mirror as he took off in search of Rick.

I wanted to follow him. I wanted to light the pieces of Rick that Emmett was about to hack up with red, hot hungry flames, but I stumbled as I tried to move forward. My eyes were clouding up. I took a knee and tried to hang onto the flamethrower, but it slipped from my grasp. As I fell forward I heard the squeals of urgent tires in the parking lot. I would have smiled if my brain weren't shaking, because I could tell it was Edward driving.

The timing was right, Emmett and I had used up our lag time between action and Alice's gift. Carlisle took my flamethrower and sprinted in the direction of the slicing sounds.

Edward's hands were gentle as he lifted me from the dirt.

_Some warrior I am, flopping around on the ground instead of helping. _

Jasper took me quickly and hugged me as hard as he could. His calming whispers raced through my muscles. Death was coming across the field. Emmett and Carlisle had been successful, which was good. Rick's ghost was headed my way, which was bad. Having the death so close to me was like a blinking light for someone suffering from seizures. I was relapsing; Jasper was using all he had, which was considerable. I worried about Alice, who had stopped to stand stock still, obviously having a fit of her very own. Edward went to comfort her.

But only I could see the ghost. Rick was unhindered by matter anymore and his face was almost in my own.

"Sasha, you're going to die. You were right. I'll be waiting, I'll still have you." He was gearing up to say more but the earth opened, a red swirling vortex. The screams from Hell caused me to tense and as a result Jasper had to lay on top of me, covering me with his peace.

It was over so quick, the earth closed up around everything that was left of Rick. The still stars blinked through as soon as the red light had faded. I had been the only one to see the Hades claim Rick. I began to hug Jasper back, letting his power enter me.

_No mirrors, not this time, please, let me feel the victory. _

When Jasper patted my cheek and welcomed me back, I knew my eyes had stabilized for him. The bonfire of Rick's body parts almost looked festive. The flames were horrible colors, unnatural.

Edward lifted me to my feet, kissing me without hesitation. As lovely as his lips were, I couldn't help but watch a drained Jasper stumble to his love, gearing up to sooth another broken spirit.

_I can't do this to him again. I won't do it, Edward. _

Edward ignored my thoughts and demanded more kisses, which I had to melt into.

Finally, he held my face and gave me his new game plan, "Listen, your family is safe, Rick is dead. We'll get into why you're never allowed to be alone with Emmett again later. We have a lead, there is a man named Hugh Johns that has an answer, Alice saw it."

Emmett was entering our little get together, rounding up his weapons like a departing army. When we made eye contact he winked and mouthed, "I'm not sorry, Pita."

I smiled, because I wasn't sorry either. With Rick out of the picture I just needed to avoid letting my eyes kill me, then I could keep my promise to Edward.

_Forever. _

Edward was amazing at participating in the interactions around him and listening to my thoughts as well. Hearing my determination, he stopped mid sentence and faced me.

"Forever, Sasha. Anything else is unacceptable." And then Edward smiled and the stars ceased being the most beautiful things the night had to offer.


	34. What she might become

Determination can do a lot of things, but keeping a ghost-seeing-vampire alive was not one of them. I could tell from the speed in which the Cullens raced around, that time was not even pretending to be on our side.

I was light headed, vulnerable. Seeing Hell's open-mouthed doors had been so intense. There was power just outside my grasp. Tremendous ability that made my human spirit connections seem like a joke.

I could feel every bit of surface on my skin, it felt unusual, ready to burst.

Edward's hand never left my back. He would murmur little asides and work to get a smile. But my center was my eyes now, smiling was getting tougher.

"Alice, she's only got so much in her. We've got to go." Edward began leading me back to his car.

I glimpsed the sweet exchange between Alice and Jasper and he steeled himself to come with me.

I came to a halt. "Jasper, I can't thank you enough. But I need you to stay here. Stay with Alice."

The family was still. They could say so much with simple gestures; they had been together for so long.

Edward's jaw tensed, "Jasper's a big boy, Sasha. He knows his limits."

I couldn't help but touch his face. His concerned, dedicated face. "No, Sweetheart, he doesn't know. Alice does. Listen to her thoughts. Is she worried?"

After a brief pause he tried to make excuses for what I already knew. "Alice worries about everything, that's one of the burdens of her sight."

I tried to focus on Edward and convey my opinions out loud. My lids were getting droopy. Tired when a vampire is never tired.

I turned to Emmett, my partner in crime instead; "Don't let me take Jasper from Alice. Please. I don't want to be that."

Emmett nodded once and Edward shot him a violent look.

Soon I was off my feet and in Edward's arms. My brain had stalled, stuttered and it scared him. It scared me.

I was in the passenger seat and he was driving as fast as a vampire could move. He was barely watching the road as he moved the hair out of my face.

I wanted to speak to him, tell him that if this was the end, it was a good one. I wanted to tell him to love again, when I was gone, but my tongue was numb.

With one hand he cradled my head, "I can hear you. Don't you dare give up on me! I'll never love again, it can only be you."

I kept my focus on his eyes as we drove furiously to the city. He knew where he was headed, where Alice had pictured a possible cure.

It was a simple oversight. A mistake easily made, the quickest route was the best route. Except the road took us through a seemingly endless graveyard. In the city things were in such odd places. The stones depicting simple dates are meant to encompass the meaning of a life. To me, the gravestones represented hundreds of souls that would love to be heard.

My eyes were clouding up. The souls were a trickle then a rogue wave, beating against my brain. I wanted to scream, only the muscles in my eyes were working now, I slumped down in the seat.

I could barely hear Edward's begging, screaming, and pleading intertwined with the ghosts' demands.

"My wife needs to know I'm okay." "I left a big pile of money in the backyard" "Just tell my children I love them." "Vampires are evil, one killed me!" "Just breathe, don't listen to the voices, I love you, Sasha." "If no one knows where my will is how can my spirit be at ease?" "I was murdered, we need to stop it from happening again, listen to me!"

I tried to have one consistent thought, for Edward, though I wasn't sure he would hear me. "Please get out of my mind, spare yourself this, please. If you love me you'll leave."

The back of my neck tingled as he did as I asked.

_Good, at least he won't hear if I get scared. When I get scared._

I tried to open my eyes and there was no red hue, just a mirror, my own pupils staring back at me.

My body was being carried again.

I could hear Edward hollering, "Hugh Johns!" But the ghosts were lighting my brain up with their presence. I felt Edward kick open a door, splintering what must have been a sturdy lock.

For no reason at all, I could move, all at once, open my eyes and hold them open. I hugged him quickly around the neck and then touched his jaw. I could see him, but it was as if it was through miles of clear water. His face expressed sheer terror. I knew he was seeing the end. The mirrors, the way I was meant to die.

_Love again. Promise me, I won't be a happy ghost unless I know you will let someone else in._

If he could cry, he would. I felt tears on my face, and in the reflection of his dark eyes I watched as the liquid silver began seeping like tears down my face.

Instead of answering he hollered again, "HUGH JOHNS!" then spoke to me quickly. I was so grateful for my hands, to feel his face, touch his lips. "I've been alone for so long, in my head, in my life, don't let them win. Fight. You promised me you would fight."

Hugh was always reluctant to answer when his name was bellowed. After so many years on the planet, very rarely was the experience followed by something good. He sent his bodyguard downstairs to the club a vampire had just broken into.

After a quick report of a grief stricken male holding a crying vampire woman, Hugh knew he had been right.

His wife Barbra cringed as the vampire yelled again. Though it would seem callus to a bystander, they had to be careful. Hugh was the equivalent of a vampire nuclear weapon. His talent lay in erasing memories. To the undead with limitless horrible pasts, wiping the slate clean was tantalizing. It could also be a wonderful way to exact justice on an enemy. Hugh had been used and offered enough in his very long life.

He was very, very selective about when and where he would wipe a mind. Of course his club was his weakness. He loved music and loved people. His crew of vampire staff enjoyed the high-spirited nightlife he offered.

"He loves her." Barbra always had a soft spot for romance. The minute he saw the twinkle in her eye he knew she would guilt him into helping.

"Fine, I have no idea how I'll help. You stay here." Hugh leaned down for a kiss and Barbra smiled.

The trip downstairs was quick, his mortal age had been advanced, but being a vampire had made him just as quick as any of his counterparts.

He approached slowly. The vampire holding his love was devastated. The girl in his arms was limp, her head lolled off to the side. The tears on her face would have made a beautiful color for jewelry.

The vampire kneeled and carefully arranged the girl so he could hug her to him. "Please, sir, I know you can help her. I read minds and I can see what you do. I'll give you anything, pay anything, kill anyone. Just save her."

Hugh sighed audibly. He stepped close to the couple on the floor and touched the tops of their heads. Their memories were a sweet mix of new love.

The girl had been able to see ghosts. He was quick to edit his internal thoughts so the mind reader wouldn't be able to gage Hugh's opinions.

"Give her to me." The vampire was reluctant to let go of his lady.

Hugh titled his head and held out his arms. Soon enough he had an armful of a very broken, extremely rare vampire.

The process wasn't easy for Hugh, but he had long ago become an amazing editor, removing only certain types of information and leaving others.

He took the girl back to her ride in a car with a vampire named Emmett. Before she saw the gates of Hell and before she was attacked by spirits in Edward's car.

He waited, with more than a little doubt, to see if the girl could be saved. Blue-eyed vampires weren't known for their hardiness. He locked eyes with Edward and shrugged. It was true, though Hugh was sure it was hard for the mind reading vampire to acknowledge.

The girl began moaning and Hugh passed her back to Edward with a pat on his shoulder. He left to give them privacy, being reunited after a near second death experience was emotional. As Hugh ascended the stairs to give Barbra the good news, he heard the girl speak Edward's name.

_She won't be able to do that too many times._

Edward couldn't believe it. Alice had seen two futures. One where Edward arrived to Hugh John's club in time and one where he didn't. When Sasha began crying the horrible tears and going slack in the car, he knew he had to keep driving. In the future where Sasha didn't make it, he had stopped to try and comfort her.

"What happened? I was in the car with Emmett." Sasha was smiling and her eyes were mercifully blue again.

Edward wiped her face clean of the silver and kissed every part of her now animated face. Her nose, her mouth and her beautiful, deadly eyes.

"Sasha, I've found a man who can erase your memories, parts of them anyway. Your eyes had turned and well, he fixed you. Rick's dead." He hugged her harder. Closer.

Edward tried not to think about what he owed Hugh. Sasha sitting up and brushing off her clothes was worth anything, he just hoped it wasn't too bloody or something that Sasha or his family would be ashamed of.

"How do you feel?" Edward helped her to her feet.

"I'm a little shaky and I feel fuzzy. Rick's dead?" Sasha cuddled into Edward's chest.

"Yes. Emmett took him out with a rocket. He'll never hurt you or your family." He tilted her face up for another kiss.

The broken door was soon filled with the other Cullens. Alice already smiling, knowing that the right choice had been made. At the same time Hugh and Barbra came down the stairs.

"Carlisle, long time no see." Hugh's voice was booming and welcoming at the same time. There was a brief moment where Hugh held Carlisle's gaze and seemed to be transferring information.

"Hugh Johns, Old friend. How wonderful to remember you after all this time." Carlisle crossed the distance and embraced Hugh.

Edward filled Sasha in quietly, "Apparently Carlisle and Hugh were wonderful friends, but to keep Hugh's gift safe he has to wipe all memory of his existence from those he meets. Which makes sense because of Aro and his talent for reading minds, Hugh's existence needs to remain a secret."

Hugh smiled and offered a hand to Edward, "Very astute, young man. And you are correct. Mind readers are of particular concern." Hugh pulled Sasha into a big hug. "You, gorgeous, you are looking 100% better already."

The introductions were made. Hugh and Barbra proved themselves to be extraordinary hosts, not even the least bit put out by their door being cracked open in the middle of the night.

Edward smiled and continued holding Sasha's hand. He knew he was obvious, but he kept checking her eyes, making sure they were still blue.

As Carlisle and Hugh swapped stories from times and places so very far away, Edward noticed Sasha mouthing her thanks to everyone in the room when she would catch their eye.

Hugh also made a point of thinking quite intentionally to Edward.

_Son, I know what it is to love a woman, it was my pleasure to help Sasha. You owe me nothing._

Edward nodded. After spending hours in the delight of relief, he knew that Hugh and Barbra were clean, clear spirits. Though he did think Hugh was deliberately avoiding thinking about something, none of it seemed drenched in malice.

It was a perfect evening. He had the perfect lady. He tried to hope that Hugh's cure had been permanent, but Alice answered that question in her thoughts.

He loved his sister's ability but seeing his greatest fear seconds before it happened felt like a knife in the center of his sanity. He rose and held Sasha close, she looked puzzled and then she was gone again, red eyes, turning to mirror.

Hugh was fast. The happy-go-lucky party atmosphere shattered as the older vampire began his process again, erasing the ghosts that had infiltrated Sasha's mind.

As he cradled her, Hugh delivered his diagnoses to the Cullens, "Sasha is very sick. Honestly, she shouldn't be alive at all. I'm sure you know this by now. It's like a crack in a dam for her. Once one ghost found her, they all started seeping in. I'm pretty positive if she stays with me I can keep her with us, but I'm not sure what kind of quality of life she is going to have."

It was a matter of fact. Edward saw then the images of other blue-eyed vampires in Hugh's memory. One after another melting, eyes crying silver, going feral before collapsing, imploding.

"Why were you there? Why do you have these memories?" Edward could barely resist the urge to snatch Sasha back from his arms.

Hugh answered out loud, for the benefit of everyone as Sasha started moving around again. "There was a tremendous battle for a vampire like Sasha. I was hired to try and save them before by Carlisle, though he wouldn't remember that information until I just returned it to him tonight."

Sasha opened her eyes slowly. Red ringed her crystal blue eyes. She wasn't completely healed this time. Edward cringed as he heard the pity in sorrow in the minds around him. Alice couldn't block the end, how Sasha's lie was going to play out.

Edward was able to see the mental surgery that Hugh had completed on Sasha. Hugh scanned her memory of just moments before when a ghost had found her and set her brain back to the instant before the intrusion.

Hugh passed Sasha back again, she was puzzled.

"How do you feel?" Edward wanted to just have her answer, but he already knew she was worse off than the last "cure."

She thought, _He'll have to keep taking and taking until I have nothing left to remember._

Edward ran his hands up and down her arms as if she was cold and he could warm her. Sasha was right, but Edward refused to be the one to tell her. In Alice's sight, the love of his life became nothing but a shell, until she became monster. Alice saw it as clear as air, Sasha with silver covering her face, tearing into the vampires around her. Sasha, who never wanted to hurt anyone, stomping into Manhattan in full daylight, sparkling and crying metal tears, snapping human necks left and right.

Hugh met Edward's eyes with a resigned nod. _Son, I'll bring her back as long as there is something to work with. She has two weeks, tops. Maybe sooner. But know this, it is a lot easier to kill a vampire then what she might become._

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A/N This chapter is dedicated to the following people: raizie, bklover08, lowie11, kristi_28 I know I'm not alone with Sasha and Edward because of you guys ;) And yes, the first chapter will come to pass. My endless thanks for you time and readership. ~MTK


	35. One Ghost at a Time

Sasha watched the sun rise and set and the moon do the same. She hadn't moved in days. Maybe it was weeks. Being a vampire, alive without Edward was pointless, painful and endless.

She remembered her last evening again, the engagement party and all that followed. In the brief respite that Alice had predicted, Edward had asked Sasha to marry him. Soon after the yes, Alice had collapsed and it was all as clear as mirror eyes. Edward would go insane with his fiancée, eventually murdering them all.

Unless Sasha had the courage to leave the Cullens' lives and minds. She found the bravery that night and Hugh had done his worst.

It was hard to be brave every second of every day. And Sasha wasn't. Her weakness let the needy spirits in her mind like she had thrown open a set of huge French doors and issued an open invitation.

Hugh was fast and determined, every damn time bringing her back from the brink with his talents, managing to leave Edward and his family intact in her memories.

Eventually, Hugh could never put Sasha down, not for an instant. Barbara was the one to act, to call in her savior.

One vampire could teach her what she needed to know to stay present in this world. Dracula's eyes were such an antiqued red, they looked brown. And only his eyes made it into her world, between the voices, the screaming , and the demands from the dead.

His lessons started in her head, in the tiny slivers between the insanity.

"Princess, you need to close the doors to the spirits. It's like free samples up in you head, every single one is going to want a piece."

His voice was so mesmerizing, like a pillow she wanted to rest her head on.

The French doors Sasha imagined opening needed to be shut, and with Hugh's help and Dracula's coaching almost a year after she said goodbye to the Cullens, she opened her crystal blue eyes and they stayed that way.

Dracula's voice was such a constant companion, it was almost odd to see the man attached to the disembodied eyes and words.

He was screamingly hot. Torn jeans, old t-shirt and a beat up hat. He smiled with his blinding white teeth.

Hugh and Barbara hugged as Sasha's eyes held. They were even able to remove the plastic tubing that piped blood into Sasha's system and kept her free of thirst.

Days passed and Sasha began hoping. Edward? Maybe this was why she wasn't allowed to forget him, because there would come a day when she could be with him again.

Dracula worked with Sasha, teaching her to keep her mind closed to all those who wanted in.

"So, Dracula? Really? I thought you were a fairy tale." Sasha walked next to him in the moonlight following a successful hunt.

He gave her a flirtatious look, "Blue-eyed vampire? I _know_ you're a fairytale."

And she was. Sasha saw the meaningful glances between Hugh and Dracula. As far as they knew, Sasha was the only one ever to survive. They had wanted to test her, have her open the doors to see if she could speak with ghosts with the advanced ability she might posses. But Barbara wanted her stronger. And Sasha wanted only one thing, and that was to return to the Cullens.

Sasha couldn't tell what Dracula's powers were, though he was able to visit her inside her head whenever he chose. The last task he had for her, before she embarked on the trip to find the Cullens she was crawling out of her skin to make, was to block out Dracula's eyes.

"Princess, your Edward'll be safe if you can block him from your mind. If your ghosts come back, if your mental French door cracks open." Dracula was relentless, popping into her mind at all times. After practice and focus, she was able to seal her brain from the ageless, sexy man.

Finally the day came, the day Sasha was making her trek to Forks, Washington. Hugh's contacts were vital and current, so Sasha knew right where to go, a beautiful glass house in the woods. She expected someone to go with her, but Dracula said he had an appointment and Hugh and Barbra just hugged her. Hugh wiped Sasha of her memory of everything but a single phone number to call if she needed help.

So on August 13th, 2006 she boarded a plane and after deeming a car to slow, she ran to Edward, through the woods.

She slowed when she got close to the house, approaching from the backyard. An argument halted her. Edward's voice.

_Edward's voice._

Sasha's heart soared; all her fighting had been for something. For him.

But the fight was the only thing to stop her. She closed her mind and listened. Edward's voice had been commanding a large man to stop from squeezing a girl's arms.

Maybe the wolves would have shocked Sasha more if her heart wasn't dying another death as she saw the tenderness in Edward's face as he handled the human.

The human in the wedding dress. The human wearing the engagement ring Sasha had worn for just a few brief moments in time.

Sasha took off running as she heard the big dogs growling, rumbling around. When she got to her car, she started driving fast, too fast. She was choking on her anger and sadness. And then there was the laughter, the laughter that was maniacal.

_I told him to love again. I wanted him to love again._

But now that he was doing that very thing, there was only pain.

_I'm supposed to be dead by now. _

Her French doors were bursting to open, the spirits hungry for her mind. Sasha called the number she knew was important, and Hugh's sad voice answered.

"I'm so sorry Sasha, I didn't get word about their wedding until just now. They were trying to keep it out of the rumor mill."

And now Sasha sat on the roof of Hugh's club, watching the sun and moon circle her.

Barbara had resorted to bringing Sasha bagged blood again.

Dracula found her, his eyes in her mind first, then his words, "You're dropping your guard. That's not a good thing."

Sasha locked his eyes out and sighed.

"Listen, Hugh told me you're down in the dumps." He touched her hand to get her attention.

Sasha looked at the hand and wished it were Edward's.

"I've some news for you. And it's not good." Dracula touched her cheek. "It's about the Cullens."

Sasha put her ice blue eyes on him. "Tell me." Because as heartbroken as she was, the Cullens were family -even if they didn't know it.

"Edward changed Bella and now they have a baby." Dracula waited for the pain to settle like sand in water.

_She has a name. They have a baby. Shoot me shoot me shoot me. _

"The Volturi are coming to kill them all for changing a child." Dracula held her hand.

Sasha was instantly defensive, "Edward would _never_ change a child."

"Well, rumor has it the child is half vampire half human. That type of thing exists, just not often. Sort of like a blue eyed vampire." Dracula gave her a weak smile.

Sasha stood up for the first time in weeks. "Are they still in Forks?"

"Hold on, gorgeous. The Volturi can't know you exist. They'll have you no matter what the cost." Dracula stood as well.

"The Volturi wants to kill the baby as well? I can't not go. I was a teacher. A teacher who loves kids. I'm going." Sasha turned to leave.

"Well, I'm coming with you. We need to get some black cloaks and red contacts for you."

It was another flight, this one filled with the dread the previous trip delivered. Dracula made an awful traveling complaining, singing, flirting, joining the mile high club with various ladies three times.

Sasha was stoic. She had not one idea what she could do to stop the ruling vampires. She had not even met them.

She could see ghosts, but she had locked that door to protect herself. By the time Dracula and she pulled off to park the car he had stolen, she still didn't have a plan. She popped in the red contacts and felt a nervousness that would have surely exploded her heart if she were mortal.

She and Dracula followed the Volturi clan along, staying solemn. She watched as the edgy crowd moved.

Seeing the Cullens prepared for battle, with another large group of vampires was shocking. The wolves she had witnessed at Edward's wedding were back.

Bella, the bride, was an obvious vampire now. And she held a child. A beautiful little girl. As if sensing the compassion, the child locked eyes with Sasha.

Sasha should have looked away. But the teacher in her, forced her to console the scared-looking little girl. Sasha mouthed, "It's going to be okay." And smiled.

The little girl looked so much like Edward, Sasha knew now what she had to offer Aro, the former leader of the Curous, the delectable vampire. She just needed the right moment.

Dracula touched her hand and nodded. Maybe he could read her thoughts. Maybe he could sense her plan. The old vampire must have a million tricks up his sleeve, but Sasha knew the man was going to help her pick her moment.

She watched as the confrontation played out in front of her. The tension, Edward's beautiful, elegant defense of his family. At one point Dracula did hold her hand, the need to run to Edward was so great.

_He doesn't remember me. He will never remember me._

Sasha relived his words, all the while keeping her mind closed.

_"I will never forget you. I won't. Your eyes will be with me. I love you. I would go insane for you. I will go insane without you,"_

Because he had loved her, she could be this selfless, she knew it.

A female vampire was cut down, but yet Dracula still held Sasha back. There was more showmanship and poorly veiled threats from Aro. There was pause, a convening of the Volturi and that's when Dracula released her.

Sasha stepped forward with the others, hood pulled over her face. Edward and Bella were busy putting their child on a large wolf. There was loss in their every movement.

When everyone else stopped a respectful distance from Aro, the paper skinned ancient, Sasha kept walking. His guards flexed quickly, so she lifted her hood and blinked her contacts from her eyes.

She looked Aro full in the face with her ice blue eyes. He held up one finger to stop Felix and Caius' protection.

Instead of speaking, Sasha offered her hand to Aro, who smiled quickly as he took it.

Her memories were his now, making the connections that the Cullens had wiped from their memories, no remnants of Hugh left in her mind to give the old vampire away.

"Child, please, this is all fascinating, but I'm busy. Can you please rest next to Jane while I finish this inquisition?" Aro looked like he would much rather take Sasha to a secluded place and take trips through her mind.

"No. As you see, I can easily self-destruct. The Cullens and their allies go free and I'll be yours. Those are my demands."

Aro stepped closer, "You stand here, ready to become my personal entertainment for a man that's married to another? Extraordinary. But excuse me if I don't believe you can deliver, I've seen your obstacles."

Sasha's own weakness caused her doomed eyes to seek him, for one final glance. Edward was listening, of course, using every thought in the field as a weapon to help his family. She put her blue eyes on his golden ones.

He was shaking his head over and over, trying to ascertain what was next. Was he placing her? Was he thinking of her?

It was selfish to want him to know what she was going to do for his daughter.

She looked back at Aro and tried to be confident. "Let me prove it. What soul would you like?"

Aro wrinkled his nose, "Oh, I have a good one. The first man I killed."

Sasha closed her eyes and approached the barrier in her head. The French door had faces pressed against it, aching to get in. She pushed past her fear, her common sense and opened the door. Either she would die now, going mirror and finally, feral and take down a few of the evil vampires around her or she would…

Fly.

And she flew, over their heads, over their desires and she sought. It was so easy now that she was above them. She thought of Aro's essence and the souls touched by him glowed red. She found the oldest soul and extended her hand.

When she opened her eyes, she looked into Aro's scarlet ones.

He still held her hand and smiled wider.

"He's next to you. And he hates you." Sasha looked at the ghost, he was so clear and angry.

"Child, I see this gift. It's very tempting, I will admit." Aro held fast to her hand.

"You leave this field and never come back. You leave the Cullens and their friends and I'll return to Italy with you." Sasha pulled her hand away and dispatched the ghost. The French doors closed and she felt a pang of regret. This would be a horrifying weapon to give the Volturi.

"Very well than, Sasha. Let me finish up, then we will spend great amounts of time, endless time discovering the past. Of course your human family still lives, so I could have you either way."

He was dismissing her when Sasha had a thought, she closed her eyes and opened the doors again, this time looking for Aro's mother. When the woman materialized next to her, Sasha touched Aro's elbow. He whirled on her quickly.

"Mother?" Aro grabbed Sasha's face.

Sasha bit her lip and focused. Aro's mother collapsed and writhed in pain.

Aro became fierce and unbalanced, "Stop that. Do not hurt her."

Sasha let the ghost stand. "Just so we're clear. You have a family too. I can always find them even if you kill me. I suggest you play nice."

Aro nodded, seeing that it wasn't a bluff. Sasha knew she could cavort through the spirit world forever, it had become a simple fact when she opened the doors and wasn't consumed.

Sasha stepped away from the circle, sure that the outcome would keep the Cullen's safe.

Dracula came behind her and she opened her mind to him.

"Stay strong Ghost girl, I'll get you away from the Volturi someday."

He pat her on the back and then he was gone.

Alone now, Sasha watched as the victory went to the Cullens. They were celebrating as Aro and his crew made their way in her direction. She looked past her approaching fate and to the family she wished she could be standing with. Bella was hugging the little girl hard. Edward searched the edge of the forest with his eyes until he found Sahsa. Butterflies filled her hopeless heart.

_God, I love him so much. _

"Thank you." Edward mouthed. And then his sad smile let her know her sacrifice had not gone unnoticed. "Thank you, Sasha."

She nodded and dropped her gaze. Aro held out his arm and Sasha took it reluctantly to start her payment for the lives of the Cullens, one ghost at a time.

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**A/N And with that Drink You Alive is complete. In my head Dracula saves her. What about you? What do you think happens next? I want to thank everyone that stuck with this ride for a million years. It is always an honor to write, but to write for this little story makes my eyes fill up, you are the bravest readers.**

**Thank you so very much! ~MTK**


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